headsashed Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Its been a while since ive been on here so i thought id come on and say hello to all the people that helped me through a difficult in my life, so yes, hello to all my LS friends, and Chitown lol Anyway, as the title suggests, things do get better and ive got some good news, im going to be a daddy. Since i took peoples advice on here i changed my life, i set my own business up, made changes to myself and met a wonderful girl. I would have been on here more often to help others but ive been to busy working and enjoying life. So, to every heart broken person out there i want to give you my advice, its entirely up to you if you want to take it.. Ill start by saying that the day i arrived here i was totally heart broken, i saw no end to the pain and believed my ex was the 1, As most of the freshly heart broken people will feel. I was stubborn and wouldnt listen to anyone but myself which inturn caused further pain. I wont go into my past because, well its my past and thats where it belongs. My advice now, and ofcourse most of it will be cliche but it does work.. 1: Most importantly, understand that happiness comes from within, only you can make you happy. 2: No contact is a must, seeing what your ex is upto will cause further pain and prolong your healing. 3: Delete any pictures/phone numbers etc and block on all social media sites. 4: Better yourself, new haircut etc 5: Go out and make new friends (this helped me loads). 6: Goto the gym, play football, exercise releases endorphins and also helps you sleep at night. 7: Do no live in hope that your ex will come back ((mine hasnt) 8: Dont dwell in self pitty like i did, that also prolongs healing 9: Dont use no contact as a tool to win your ex back, cos it will NEVER work. 10: I suggest you post on here when you are feeling down, or write a journal, getting those feelings out helps loads, and no 1 on here will judge you. Thats my rant over lol, so yes things do get better (apart from england in the world cup), if anyone has any questions then ill be around for a few hours, thanks for reading. 7
biddybud Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Thank you for this. It helps a lot to know that it will get better. I'm having up and down days, but now thinking "I'm destined to be alone forever"... Nice to know that it doesn't have to be that way
Author headsashed Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 Thank you for this. It helps a lot to know that it will get better. I'm having up and down days, but now thinking "I'm destined to be alone forever"... Nice to know that it doesn't have to be that way It doesnt have to be this way because it WONT be that way, so try not to think that you will be alone forever. I used to think like that until 1 day i clicked and just go no with life. I will say this though, if you are having up and down days then you are healing, otherwise it would always be down days 1
me85 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 I will say this though, if you are having up and down days then you are healing, otherwise it would always be down days TRUE THIS.
H245 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Definitely needed this today. I wasn't feeling pretty good about myself. Now I feel motivated to get stuff done today that I've packed motivation to do.
Author headsashed Posted June 25, 2014 Author Posted June 25, 2014 Definitely needed this today. I wasn't feeling pretty good about myself. Now I feel motivated to get stuff done today that I've packed motivation to do. happy to help mate
SadNLonley Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 Ill start by saying that the day i arrived here i was totally heart broken, i saw no end to the pain and believed my ex was the 1, As most of the freshly heart broken people will feel. I was stubborn and wouldnt listen to anyone but myself which inturn caused further pain. Its been 1 year ago today from my bu. Its better than day 1, but I was like you too. Thought he was it and knew it in my heart even though other people advised otherwise. . 1: Most importantly, understand that happiness comes from within, only you can make you happy. 100% accurate, but also one of the hardest things to do. 2: No contact is a must, seeing what your ex is upto will cause further pain and prolong your healing. yup, done twice and both times ripped my heart out AGAIN 3: Delete any pictures/phone numbers etc and block on all social media sites. I still have pics of him, but its on an external hard drive. Cant just delete, he was a huge part of my life. One day i will be able to look at them and not feel the pain. Maybe at that time I will delete because it wont matter. 5: Go out and make new friends (this helped me loads). Once again, so true. Its not so easy to do, but I made an effort to reach out to old friends I hadnt talked to in a while. I also started taking up offers to go out from people I just knew as acquaintances. 7: Do no live in hope that your ex will come back ((mine hasnt) No hope. If its meant to be it will happen without force. 8: Dont dwell in self pitty like i did, that also prolongs healing My worst. I am still dwelling in it. I know its bad, but cant help it. 9: Dont use no contact as a tool to win your ex back, cos it will NEVER work. Ha. NO sh**. I thought that exact thing. It just caused the hurt to be pushed back 5 months when in his head, he was already done. This probably helped him move on quicker. Thats probably why he has recently started dating and I still struggle with the back/forth feeling of meeting someone new. Anyway, thanks for the post. I do know with time all will get better, but im done with the roller coaster ride.
Chi townD Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 Oh yeah! Love this "I want to say Hi to all my LS friends......and chi townD" LOL! Dude, I thought you were gone for good! I'm so glad you're doing well. Dude, you don't realize this, but you are probably one of the best success stories on this site. I mean, I remember you even sent before NC and after pics on here and there was a massive difference. You went from being barely employed to owning your own successful business and getting and award for it! I seen you getting involved and putting yourself out there by joining your local football (soccer....not REAL American football ) club. And now you're telling me that you have a new girl in your life and you're going to be a Dad. CONGRATS DUDE!!!! And you were the MOST stubborn SOB in the world when you first came here, and look at you now! I hope you can stick around and inspire more people. Don't be a stranger!
Author headsashed Posted June 25, 2014 Author Posted June 25, 2014 Oh yeah! Love this "I want to say Hi to all my LS friends......and chi townD" LOL! Dude, I thought you were gone for good! I'm so glad you're doing well. Dude, you don't realize this, but you are probably one of the best success stories on this site. I mean, I remember you even sent before NC and after pics on here and there was a massive difference. You went from being barely employed to owning your own successful business and getting and award for it! I seen you getting involved and putting yourself out there by joining your local football (soccer....not REAL American football ) club. And now you're telling me that you have a new girl in your life and you're going to be a Dad. CONGRATS DUDE!!!! And you were the MOST stubborn SOB in the world when you first came here, and look at you now! I hope you can stick around and inspire more people. Don't be a stranger! why thankyou chitown, its just been pretty hectic lately, with the gf and work, otherwise i would be on here more to help others.. Lucky for me im having a few days off from the gf to catch up on all my work so i keep nipping on here when i have a cuppa break haha. I remember how bad i was when i first joined here, i was more stubborn than a turd when ur constipated, didnt listen to anyone and kept causing further pain, BUT when i eventually listened and took advice my life changed, for the better. Now look at me, ofcourse me and the gf have arguments and sometimes work is slow, but you have to take the bad with the good. 1 thing i did learn is to keep my eyes open and not be a doormat, that doesnt mean im insecure, because im not, im just no longer blind to any red flags. As for being a daddy, its something ive always wanted to happen, now im just preparing for the early nights, and if the child looks anything like me then they will 1 attractive person haha And chi, you are 1 of my best mates on here, you helped me loads via private message too, you made me feel comfortable, hence why i felt i could open upto you. 1 last note.. its FOOTBALL
lovebug_5858 Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 So I saw your post and went through a few of your threads from the beginning, Sorry if that's creepy. But wow! It made me feel a hell of a lot better... You, sir, are living and breathing proof that life goes on, WITHOUT your ex. I am glad to see that you are happy and I know that there are only better things to come. Great job!
Chi townD Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 So I saw your post and went through a few of your threads from the beginning, Sorry if that's creepy. But wow! It made me feel a hell of a lot better... You, sir, are living and breathing proof that life goes on, WITHOUT your ex. I am glad to see that you are happy and I know that there are only better things to come. Great job! OH! Did you see how much of a stubborn ass he was and my posts about wanting to strangle him? LOL! Nothin but love, head!
lovebug_5858 Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 OH! Did you see how much of a stubborn ass he was and my posts about wanting to strangle him? LOL! Nothin but love, head! OH YES! I also see why he threw a shot out at you! You helped him a great deal, and he knew you'd be happy to hear how great he was doing! You are a truly great friend for helping him through it. Its great to see that connections here die hard.
Author headsashed Posted June 25, 2014 Author Posted June 25, 2014 If it wasnt for this website and people like chitown then i would have struggled so much more.. chitown helped me more than he could ever know but most of my healing was down to myself, i made myself do the things people were telling me to do, and here i am, living proof that life does go on, without the ex. Oh and if anyone is wondering if ive seen or spoke to my ex, well, ive not spoke to her for about a year and she obviousley still hated me, the last i heard was she had bought an house with her new bf, all i can say is good luck to them both, no hard feelings on my part. Now onto my current gf, does she not realise im trying to watch FOOTBALL, damn women keeps blowing my phone up haha, suppose i best make the most of these relaxing nights cos in 7 months ill be up most the night lol
shoegal4 Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 I will say this though, if you are having up and down days then you are healing, otherwise it would always be down days TRUE THIS. This is SO spot on. I am loving it.
lovebug_5858 Posted June 25, 2014 Posted June 25, 2014 If it wasnt for this website and people like chitown then i would have struggled so much more.. chitown helped me more than he could ever know but most of my healing was down to myself, i made myself do the things people were telling me to do, and here i am, living proof that life does go on, without the ex. Oh and if anyone is wondering if ive seen or spoke to my ex, well, ive not spoke to her for about a year and she obviousley still hated me, the last i heard was she had bought an house with her new bf, all i can say is good luck to them both, no hard feelings on my part. Now onto my current gf, does she not realise im trying to watch FOOTBALL, damn women keeps blowing my phone up haha, suppose i best make the most of these relaxing nights cos in 7 months ill be up most the night lol I feel the same exact way. If only I would have discovered this a LONG time ago, I would've seen that every time in the past when he texted me (breadcrumbs) that his "feelings" were short lived and that I should've let it all go completely. AHHH so much lost time... but oh well. Now is the time.
benzo72 Posted June 26, 2014 Posted June 26, 2014 Hey thanks for the post! Im currently going through a tough time myself. Im on day 15 of no contact with my ex girlfriend. Her and i split up as a result of a few things, bare with me as i list them out. 1. She has just fineshed college 2. She was stressing out about finding a job in her field 3. Her mom moved in with her, her mom only works one day a week. 4. She didnt have much money, could barely pay her bills. 5. Her grandma whom she was close to, had been dying of cancer. (She passed away) 6. Then there was her and I. Now even though her and i lived an hour away from each other, we never once fought in person, we were perfect everybody said. But the phone was all we had while she was in her hometown. She had ALOT of stress on her shoulders i admitt, but there just wasnt any room left for me. So her and i split up. I tried to change her mind just ONCE, i didnt beg nor did i plead it with her! She heard my case, and was close to resuming our year and a half relationship, but it was not a go afterall. So two weeks later when her and i were not even talking, i still drove out of town to attend the funeral. So after that i text her a week later asking if she was doing ok, i just get these short replys? So two weeks later i broke no contact once and asked her where to send her stuff that she had at my house. What a mistake that was! Im safer holding NC! So her and i got into a text arguement that time. I got upset as did she 15 days ago, been in NC ever since. I love and miss her alot, but all of this is too much for her, no room for a relationship and she said she was "emotionly drained" with everything going on. And i do understand what she was going through. But we had plans to move close to each other this summer and get a place together. Now since her grandma passes, shes completely different towards me. I dunno what to do so im just staying quiet and not texting or calling her for 15 days now. I even closed all social media accounts, i dissappeared as suggested by most. Any helpful advice for me? I would REALLY would appreciate it, thanks for reading
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