WasOtherWoman Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 B) happens much often to women,and that is the question--why? Are men generally more loyal? even if they find someone they would like to be with they think more with their brain than heart or they just talk sweet words to the mistress...lies.I can imagine when a guy cheats it is mostly because of the sex,while women when they cheat it becomes emotional Because women (unless they cheat for "sport", which is much more rare) generally cheat when they are dissatisfied with their marriage. Often they are already checked out of the marriage when the cheating begins and have been unhappy for a relatively long time. Men, on the other hand, sometimes cheat for sport. Sometimes they cheat because they have developed genuine feelings for their affair partner. However, in most cases, they are not "done" with the marriage, as women usually are. Hence, by the time women get around to cheating they are ready to leave. Men.. not so much, usually. Just my humble opinion, of course. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
marcjb Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 What is this, the 50s? I call bollocks. Plenty of happily married men cheat. If a man isnt 'truly satisfied' he should do 2 things. 1. Talk to his partner and 2. Start looking inwards. There is NEVER a valid reason for someone to 'stray'. If a man is? No, if anyone is, male or female, they should do these things. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Because women (unless they cheat for "sport", which is much more rare) generally cheat when they are dissatisfied with their marriage. Often they are already checked out of the marriage when the cheating begins and have been unhappy for a relatively long time. Men, on the other hand, sometimes cheat for sport. Sometimes they cheat because they have developed genuine feelings for their affair partner. However, in most cases, they are not "done" with the marriage, as women usually are. Hence, by the time women get around to cheating they are ready to leave. Men.. not so much, usually. Just my humble opinion, of course. I agree with this. I've met *some* women who cheat "for sport" as well, but usually that is not the case. Men, however, I'd say I met many many more that cheat just because they can, but have absolutely NO intention of letting go of their relationship. Indeed they are more likely to drop the person they are cheating with if they think there is even a hint of a chance that they might be discovered. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Leigh Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 And when the man/woman leaves for someone else, only to find that the other person they left for, no longer wants them and they go crawling back asking for forgiveness? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 A very wise friend once told me, men never leave unless a) their wife kicks them out or b) they meet someone with whom they would rather be I generally find this to be true... I chose not to reconcile because I was treated poorly by ex. No other woman involved. Didn't get kicked out. In fact I still live in the marriage home. But my ex was the one who formally filed. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Another difference is men tend to leave because he feels his partner treats him poor, while women leave because the AP treats them better. Interesting. I'd say this definitely applied to my situation. Link to post Share on other sites
WasOtherWoman Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I chose not to reconcile because I was treated poorly by ex. No other woman involved. Didn't get kicked out. In fact I still live in the marriage home. But my ex was the one who formally filed. Good for you! I do believe you are not the norm though. No one should accept poor treatment from anyone, much less their spouse. Link to post Share on other sites
WasOtherWoman Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I agree with this. I've met *some* women who cheat "for sport" as well, but usually that is not the case. Men, however, I'd say I met many many more that cheat just because they can, but have absolutely NO intention of letting go of their relationship. Indeed they are more likely to drop the person they are cheating with if they think there is even a hint of a chance that they might be discovered. Yep, the OW/OM board is full of such stories! Link to post Share on other sites
WasOtherWoman Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 And when the man/woman leaves for someone else, only to find that the other person they left for, no longer wants them and they go crawling back asking for forgiveness? Which is exactly why no one should leave a marriage for someone else... Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Almost all affairs are based on illusion or delusion. There are few happy outcomes, and fewer successful relationships between affair partners. How Often Do Affair Partners End up Marrying and Happy? | Affair Resources and Advice Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 Where's the evidence that a "lot more women tend to leave their partner for their lover"? Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 (edited) Good for you! I do believe you are not the norm though. No one should accept poor treatment from anyone, much less their spouse. Well, in general, the happiness and well-being of men is not something our society really puts any thought or value to. I heard a woman once admit, in what was practically a divine revelation, that it took her until her mid-50s to realize that her husband ACTUALLY had feelings and needs. Could you imagine a man saying this? No you can't, because men like this don't get married to begin with. Women only marry men who meet all their needs. I say this because women are quick to leave when treated poorly but people act surprised when men leave for this reason. They assume there must be another woman involved. Edited September 17, 2014 by M30USA 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Women are more emotional and tend to follow them. Even when the emotions are fools gold. Women who leave relationships try to return at a high rate. Men rarely try to return when he leaves on his own. Another difference is men tend to leave because he feels his partner treats him poor, while women leave because the AP treats them better. The biggest difference is men don't have the need to jusitfy affairs. Women are more likely to look for and focus on things the partner is doing wrong as to why they have allowed themselves to become involved with another man. Thus damaging the relationship. Men have less of a need to justify and simply compartmentalizes the two relationships, not having the relationship with the OW effect the way he feels about his partner. Totally. In a couple past relationships I fooled around. Had no impact on how much I loved my partner. It was hot fun sex and the suarets rarely lasted because I was emotionally unavailable. I had a couple women do the same thing to me and they tried to justify their behavior by constantly pointing out my faults. I even got berated for not wearing fitted t-shirts once, which only made sense after I figured out what was going on. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Men are more practical. Men also have an easier time separating sex and love. They are more likely to be able to have sex without getting emotionally attached and more capable of having sexual relationships with women they don't view as "relationship material" or even like. In an affair situation many men are looking for validation outside of their marriage. They are also escaping the stress, boredom, routine, etc. When the affair starts to get "serious" it may start to look like their marriage to them and they bail out. They may decide that it's not worth giving up everything they have for an unknown quantity. Some of them decide that they really do love their wives, some of them may be trying to preserve their families, some may not want to pay half of their retirement to their wives...it varies. I don't have any personal experience with women who cheat and leave but the common perception is that they do it for love. I am sure that there are many exceptions. In my many years observing cheating men where I work, this is pretty much the case. Lots will claim to be unhappily married, mostly to get sympathy and get in the pants of whomever will listen. It's the same story. Society generally looks the other way at men's philandering, so those men have no reason to divorce as long as he is discrete. I've observed a couple of female cheaters. Just dumped a 'friend' of mine for being the kind that Carhill described... pretty ruthless about it. Has lots of stories to tell her husband while she goes off with whomever. She has the kind of job that makes that possible... and idiot friends who allow her to use them as props. She'll never leave her H. She'll have to get caught. People like that make me ill. I've never met a man or woman who ended their marriage to be with their affair partner. Perhaps the reason why the divorce rate is so low in the NE is because everyone just keeps on cheating instead of divorcing *shrug*. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Do the statistics change when we're talking any relationship, rather than just marriage? The men always left me. Either just to leave me, or for another woman. Cheated on and left for a prettier girl was the story of my dating life for a while. *shivers* I suppose once marriage is involved though, that can skew the odds. Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Zen Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Men value love. Women love value. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 I think there is a great deal of conjuncture in this thread with little to none actual research or knowledge. Men and women cheat for similar reasons and the reasons are varied. The genders are not all that different and finances, children, and well being factors in for both genders. This is a far more complex topic than can be narrowed down to simple assumptions that "men are more practical" or "women value love more" or other such statements. Link to post Share on other sites
ktya Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Men value love. Women love value. Thats gold! So true. Im going to file that one and use it a lot, hope you dont mind. Link to post Share on other sites
runicajame Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 very often because who did this she is not sincere Free PC Games Link to post Share on other sites
Xiang Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Having worked in many places and having talks with male friends and female, i see the following. Men would F anything, it's how they are, but still love their wife. If asked why they did it? "cuz i had too, she was hot" ._. . Not because they hate their wife or feel unsatisfied. Those who respect their wife however, stop themselves, even if in their mind they have F'ed that woman 1000 times. However, this is the deal, they would F other females but are not that inclined to leave what they have. Women do the same. They find a lot of men attractive and would F, just to try it out. It's just that, they are more emotional idk, if they feel the HIGH is better with another guy, they tend to jump to the new guy and leave their partner :\, that's what i noticed and what happened to me. Oh and a thing someone told me, and i consider it to be true, even if it is sad. In any marriage, your woman will likely cheat on you at least ONCE, you will just never know about it. Deal with it. Considering what i know from "chatter" at work, i'd say it's sure to happen more than once, noone is loyal, not forever. And that's the only reason why i don't want to try dating or getting a partner...i need someone loyal, and i'm starting to think that they don't exist. Link to post Share on other sites
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