SadNLonley Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 Finally got myself out there online and IRL trying to get into the dating world. Have you ever felt that the universe is doing its best to keep it from happening? I am getting very clear signs that I am either not ready to date or someone upstairs is not ready to date. Here are my scenarios. Its almost comical, and they are all different men. 1. Stood up 2. Had to cancel due to appt running late 3. Fake guy I think from out of country online 4. Schedules completely off and cant find time to get together 5. Male friend from another state starts contacting again, but now he has a gf. When he contacted me before I had a bf. I just cant seem to actually get myself on a date. lol. Need to find my mojo. Luckily, Im not letting this get to me and hurting my ego. Im trying to think that when its meant to happen it will. Someone is telling me this is NOT the time. 1
deathandtaxes Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 It just takes that one. Where things click. And you will feel on top of the world and unstoppable. Mojo is an excellent term for it. It will do wonders for your confidence. I think anybody who tries to date feels what you feel. A huge uphill battle. Why even bother. That sort of stuff. Just dust yourself off each time. Smile. Breathe. And keep on trucking. 1
Gaeta Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 I was just listening to a sex therapist on radio talking about being single nowadays. She was talking about singles complaining they cannot find someone special. She was listing the mistakes these singles usually make and the first on top is to be saying <I wish I would find someone>. Wishing is not enough, you've got to take control and say <I want to find someone> and take concrete steps to do so. Another attitude that is counter productive is to go out there and not knowing what you want. The <go with the flow and see> will bring you just that a flow of nothing. She was also confirming what I have been preaching for a long time, people do not know how to approach each other in real life anymore. They did a study on flirting and 20% of women that were being flirted with in public could not identify that the man in front of them were flirting. It's an art that is getting lost so if you want to go out there and do this real life you've got to be more than obvious if you want the other person to know you are flirting. So even if you feel the stars are against you meeting someone don't let the stars decide and give up, you get to decide.
Dallers Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 If you are trying to meet people through OLD the one thing I have learnt is whatever someone says about themselves they are the complete opposite. If you are truthful people actually do not like it lol. As above I have taken the attitude of knowing what I want because I do, but 99% of the people Online have no idea. Not only that whatever they say they are they are not. Anyone who claims to be fun and outgoing is always boring and needy. The conversations are dire and you know straight away that they have no interest to meet someone, they are just Online to make themselves feel better bout being single. Dating now is a depressing mess, it is even worse for those of us actually wanting to find someone and having to dig your way through 150 piles of s**t to find one. They seem amazing until they flake out and don't show up. Feel you OP honestly. Nobody is who they say they are life is a game. You are better off sticking to meeting people IRL.
Gaeta Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 If you are trying to meet people through OLD the one thing I have learnt is whatever someone says about themselves they are the complete opposite. If you are truthful people actually do not like it lol. As above I have taken the attitude of knowing what I want because I do, but 99% of the people Online have no idea. Not only that whatever they say they are they are not. Anyone who claims to be fun and outgoing is always boring and needy. The conversations are dire and you know straight away that they have no interest to meet someone, they are just Online to make themselves feel better bout being single. Dating now is a depressing mess, it is even worse for those of us actually wanting to find someone and having to dig your way through 150 piles of s**t to find one. They seem amazing until they flake out and don't show up. Feel you OP honestly. Nobody is who they say they are life is a game. You are better off sticking to meeting people IRL. I SO agree with you lol, The biggest problem with online is not the liars on there but the people lying to themselves. I still think it's a tool to make contact and should not be completely discarded. If you and I were on there then there must be other normal people on there too lol
Author SadNLonley Posted June 23, 2014 Author Posted June 23, 2014 Im not just talking about bad experience in OLD. Im just talking how difficult it is to date period. 2 of the 5 incidents I listed are people I know and have known awhile IRL. We just cant get our timing right to date.
deathandtaxes Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 Dating now is a depressing mess, it is even worse for those of us actually wanting to find someone and having to dig your way through 150 piles of s**t to find one. They seem amazing until they flake out and don't show up. Totally agree! Just a crazy use of time. A friend of mine's advice on the matter is 'dating 50 to find the 1'. Just so much bs. So much lying. So many fades and flakes. So many unassertive people. Does nobody think other people can't handle the truth anymore? Jeez. 1
me85 Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 HA! I'm going through the same thing. You're right, you just have to laugh about it. You definitely WILL date again...eventually. Keep that great attitude about you! Best wishes, J 1
FitChick Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Mercury is retrograde. Wait until after July 2. That's what I'm doing. Anyone you meet now won't work out. Mercury rules communication and electronics and mechanical things. Expect missed messages, car and computer problems. Anything you start now will have to be done over. It's a good time to finish things up and improve yourself for dating. 1
Miss Awesome Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 I met someone online and didn't end up meeting him in person for about five months - and it wasn't for lack of trying. Things just never worked out. But then they did. And now I'm going to marry him. I'm not sure what my point is here, but for some reason my story seemed relevant. I guess because if I had taken the scheduling issue as a sign that things weren't meant to be, I never would have ended up where I am now. So I think my point is that the universe doesn't tell you what should be and what shouldn't be. People decide.
thekid36 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Finally got myself out there online and IRL trying to get into the dating world. Have you ever felt that the universe is doing its best to keep it from happening? I am getting very clear signs that I am either not ready to date or someone upstairs is not ready to date. Here are my scenarios. Its almost comical, and they are all different men. 1. Stood up 2. Had to cancel due to appt running late 3. Fake guy I think from out of country online 4. Schedules completely off and cant find time to get together 5. Male friend from another state starts contacting again, but now he has a gf. When he contacted me before I had a bf. I just cant seem to actually get myself on a date. lol. Need to find my mojo. Luckily, Im not letting this get to me and hurting my ego. Im trying to think that when its meant to happen it will. Someone is telling me this is NOT the time. One thing that always hindered me is being so damn analytical. Which is good in many areas of life, perhaps. Just a hindrance within the world of dating. Relationships really are not best when forced. Your second to last sentence says it all. When it is meant to happen, it will. You will know when it is right. You just have to trust your initial instincts.
J21 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Hang in there. I think you'll appreciate the right person a lot more having gone through a drought. Seems u are a bit caught up with the fact of having a date--but to be honest I'd rather have no date than a nightmare date.
Gaeta Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Mercury is retrograde. Wait until after July 2. That's what I'm doing. Anyone you meet now won't work out. Mercury rules communication and electronics and mechanical things. Expect missed messages, car and computer problems. Anything you start now will have to be done over. It's a good time to finish things up and improve yourself for dating. Seriously!! Might be why I got stood up last night. hhmmm.
Author SadNLonley Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 Hang in there. I think you'll appreciate the right person a lot more having gone through a drought. Seems u are a bit caught up with the fact of having a date--but to be honest I'd rather have no date than a nightmare date. You are ABSOLUTELY right about being caught up in that. A drought is the right word. Im tired of it. I want it to rain! lol
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