Everyone is getting married and I'm trying to figure what to eat for breakfast...

[sitting still]

I married at 31. That was 20 years ago. I was completely comfortable with my life and my partner. I had a good job/career. 10000 dollars in savings and no debt. Those are pretty good criteria for getting married in my book. Im here today with 2 children age 10 and 15 looking at divorce. So be very careful what you do AFTER you get married whatever your age. Even a loving caring woman will only take so much. Good luck

[Mount]

Why only $10000?? I assume you have paid off your house that is why no debt, but isn't 10000 too little for your age?

 

I married at 31. That was 20 years ago. I was completely comfortable with my life and my partner. I had a good job/career. 10000 dollars in savings and no debt. Those are pretty good criteria for getting married in my book. Im here today with 2 children age 10 and 15 looking at divorce. So be very careful what you do AFTER you get married whatever your age. Even a loving caring woman will only take so much. Good luck

[no changes]

So I'm 21 and soon to be done with college. It seems like everyday I log onto Facebook, I see 4-5 new engagements from people my age or younger.

 

Now I'm not against it by any means. When you're ready, you're ready (I'm guessing).

 

My question is more in the basket of curiosity. Why the rush?

 

Just to express my opinion, I think there's still A LOT of growing to do even in your twenties. I've only scratched the surface of mine. I would just find it SOOO difficult to be in that type of commitment, while I'm still figuring things out. I feel like there's a sense of urgency being pushed on my generation.

 

Yes, I know these things happen all the time and to repeat I'm not against it. Just want to hear some different takes on this.

Married because they want to fix their relationship. No one knows their future, but now you have a person you love and want to be with her. Maybe tomorrow your girlfriend finds someone better than you and you lose her, of course you do not want it to happen, because she is the sense of your life and you decide to get married, to get one more argument, the answer to the question: “Why should you be with me “. That was my 1st marriage, 7 years after the divorce, I found a new wife - Russian. Given its loyalty, I think there will be no problems between us. https://mymagicbrides.com

[M30USA]

More people are getting divorced than married.

[Lipitor11]

I think getting married at 21 is stupid. Shouldn't they at least experience living the life in their 20's? Getting married that young would be like living at home with your parents, no freedom, rules to live by, etc, etc.

[Mysterio]

When u get married at 21. U r only using life experience from age 11-21. I really think that u cheat yourself. There has to be a time where you have that time in your life where you have me time. I always feel like its the woman that us the driving force, not the man.

 

I woul say the closer to 30, the better. Most kids are going to stay home till about 25-28, now a days. I have yet to hear any adult over 30 Regret having kids 30+.

[Sarabi]

I think getting married at 21 is stupid. Shouldn't they at least experience living the life in their 20's? Getting married that young would be like living at home with your parents, no freedom, rules to live by, etc, etc.

 

This makes me laugh

There are people I know who are MARRIED...WITH KIDS...and living at home with parents...

No offence but unless your house is undergoing some kind of work or your living situation has been disrupted(temporarily) I don't think its right to be living under your parents roof and starting a family of your own. I think maybe I would feel uncomfortable with it from a personal aspect, feeling like I can't do what I like in my own space.

Even the bible says if you get married you need to start your own life and out of your mum and dad's house...

[preraph]

"Everyone is getting married and I'm trying to figure what to eat for breakfast..."

 

Well, you're miles ahead of me at that age. At 21, I wasn't even getting up in time for breakfast and if I did, I was too hungover to be hungry. And I have no regrets.

[BJP56]

So I'm 21 and soon to be done with college. It seems like everyday I log onto Facebook, I see 4-5 new engagements from people my age or younger.

 

Now I'm not against it by any means. When you're ready, you're ready (I'm guessing).

 

My question is more in the basket of curiosity. Why the rush?

 

Just to express my opinion, I think there's still A LOT of growing to do even in your twenties. I've only scratched the surface of mine. I would just find it SOOO difficult to be in that type of commitment, while I'm still figuring things out. I feel like there's a sense of urgency being pushed on my generation.

 

Yes, I know these things happen all the time and to repeat I'm not against it. Just want to hear some different takes on this.

 

Im 31 I am not married, my brother and sister are in thier mid 20s and married before I did. People often ask me why havent I married yet? In my head I say I am sorry is that a requirement of this family? My GF is 23 (yes its a age difference) and smart enough to not pull the trigger on something long term until we both feel ready for that step. I often joke with her about my siblings "Just step back and watch the @#$% hit the fan when reality sets in."

 

I have had talks with my GF on our relationship......Kids, wedding, our parents...ect. Although this may sound like incompadibility it put me on the same page as her, so there are no misunderstandings if I decide to pull the trigger on something long term.

 

1. My GF does not want kids at all. For most that would be a deal breaker on a relationship. I wanted kids at first, but I am also considering on the other hand, kids may not make me happy because of my busy life style. I have also found within myself I am not comfortable around kids, not I dont like them.

Also I am not finanically responsible to even take care of them, so there is that to consider in a long term relationship.

 

2. My GF is not into weddings or celebrations. I have read some of the forums on just going to court and having the ceromoney there and not having any kind of reception party. Her reasoning was the money for the party could be better spent on the honeymoon like a trip to Italy for example.

 

These are only 2 things that are only the tip of of the iceberg. The choice I have to make (not right away) is having a relationship childless with somebody I love or finding somebody who wants a family.

[iDrumKing]

Maybe tomorrow your girlfriend finds someone better than you and you lose her, of course you do not want it to happen, because she is the sense of your life and you decide to get married[/url]

 

Ehhh. I'd never use marriage as a means of forcing someone to stay with me. If my relationship isn't strong enough that my SO would stay with me, then why would marriage change that?

[Polak]

I partially agree on location. People here (southern US) seem to get married in early 20's on average. My ex married at 21 to the guy she left me for. And overall it seems that engagements are a weekly event on Facebook. It's come to the point where I just could care less: "There's another one. *scroll down* Haha that's a hilarious video!"

 

Someone posted something here on LS a while back that's worth remembering: "Engagements are everywhere on Facebook. But when was the last time you saw a divorce plastered over your news feed?" Really puts it into perspective since 1/2 marriages end in divorce. I'll be damned if I'm going to be part of that statistic. I'll take my time. Patience is key, you grow wiser as you grow older.

[iDrumKing]

I partially agree on location. People here (southern US) seem to get married in early 20's on average. My ex married at 21 to the guy she left me for. And overall it seems that engagements are a weekly event on Facebook. It's come to the point where I just could care less: "There's another one. *scroll down* Haha that's a hilarious video!"

 

Someone posted something here on LS a while back that's worth remembering: "Engagements are everywhere on Facebook. But when was the last time you saw a divorce plastered over your news feed?" Really puts it into perspective since 1/2 marriages end in divorce. I'll be damned if I'm going to be part of that statistic. I'll take my time. Patience is key, you grow wiser as you grow older.

 

Hey I'm just down here in Georgia. Maybe we're in that engagement radius lol

[Nathaniel Hawk]

The title made me laugh.

 

I'm with you, even if I'm a few years older. After finishing college and having some experience with relationships, and the mess left behind, now I only see people getting engaged and doing The Notebook stuff. Makes me really happy and lucky that I have this time to improve myself, grow and follow my passions without someone holding me. Even if I had a girlfriend right now I wouldn't rush it and just enjoy it but I found that being single in my 20's is being more fruitful than if I was committed.

[YelloJane]

i would definitely enjoy the 20s before getting serious though, i made the mistake of marrying my high school sweetheart and now we are trying to divorce. I would have definitely waited to marry!

Edited September 2, 2014 by YelloJane

[hellon]

"Everyone is getting married and I'm trying to figure what to eat for breakfast..."

 

Hahahaha...

 

I have no idea why the rush, 21 is reeeaaally young. Maybe it has to do with social media itself? Like people feel like they have something to prove, and need to post an album full of pretty wedding pictures? Maybe they're not sure where they're going in life, and need something to focus on/ to give them a sense of security, post-college?

 

In any case, you're right- you have A LOT of growing up and learning about yourself to do still at that age. Enjoy your 20's.

[BridgetGrey]

I feel your pain HAHAH.

It's basically same situation here small country and the tradition is getting married after Uni and even in high school. I know some of my high school class mates with kids right now.

 

Now I been such a cynical person about marriage , yet to be fair when you get married at the age of 20+ early 20's I feel like it robs you from being on your own and it puts pressure on you.

 

I admit with my ex-BF we had the talk and he was a NEVER kind of marriage guy and I admit I warmed up to it a bit with him. However, going through with it not now maybe after I hit my early 30's when I see the world and get more life experience.

 

I think people do things that makes them happy and marriage may be it , but it's not the everything. Married people deal with extreme amount of pressure and responsibility and commitment that follows comprise , thus it's not for everyone.

[Tayken]

Everyone is also getting divorced...1 in every 2 marriages end in divorce. infatuation alone i.e. cuteness / handsomeness is not reason for two people to be getting married

 

1. have you talked about kids

2. what happens when a child is born

3. stay at home or go back to work

4. how many kids

5. is there mutual respect

6. teamwork, friendship

 

These are not things you can wing as you go along

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

So I'm 21 and soon to be done with college. It seems like everyday I log onto Facebook, I see 4-5 new engagements from people my age or younger.

 

Now I'm not against it by any means. When you're ready, you're ready (I'm guessing).

 

My question is more in the basket of curiosity. Why the rush?

 

Just to express my opinion, I think there's still A LOT of growing to do even in your twenties. I've only scratched the surface of mine. I would just find it SOOO difficult to be in that type of commitment, while I'm still figuring things out. I feel like there's a sense of urgency being pushed on my generation.

 

Yes, I know these things happen all the time and to repeat I'm not against it. Just want to hear some different takes on this.

Unfortunately, most of those engagements and marriages you see on FB will end in divorce in the next 5-10 years. I always get jealous when i see it too but then I remember i am bettering myself and when the time comes i will be a super amazing wife and my marriage will last because I will have something to bring to it.

[Harradin]

I could not agree more!

 

I'm 22, I live in a nice part of the UK. Out of the 100ish people in my year (smallish school, about 700.)

 

- 1 is in prison.

- Over 10 (maybe 15) are either pregnant/have kids, about 8-9 of those before 20! About 5 are already on two kids, one girl has had 4 kids!

- About 5-6 are engaged, I got invited to one girl's engagement party, not spoken to her in over a year so I was impressed!

 

Our year's PSHE classes were non-existent due to no teachers so I suppose most of them had no idea how to use protection! Every month or so, I hear that another person has gotten pregnant, it's like there's a race on who can make the most babies?!

 

I don't want kids, and tbh I'm not keen on the whole idea of marriage but if I found an amazing girl, I probably would but not until I'm 30 at least! I want to spend my 20's doing everything that later on in life I can't do because I'm too old.

 

Plus I don't want to get married to someone, who I'll probably end up divorcing because I was too stupid to not take a step back at the relationship and realise that getting married so early is a stupid idea!

 

Right now, I'm single, no kids, I love it.

[CheckItOut]

Hmmm... my opinion is that getting married so young is not a good idea... you're still trying to figure out who you are. Marriage is nothing to rush into!

[Diezel]

As a male in America, you probably don't want to get married anytime before the age of 30.

[intricate]

These are the reasons that come to my head when people in their late teens to early twenties are settling down:

 

1. The person is female and is with an older male, and the older male wants marriage and she agrees happily to it. As long as they're right for each other, it's cool.

2. The person is very mature and isn't interested in the dating/"hook up" scene and think the whole thing is shallow, so they get married young to avoid the mess.

3. The person lucked out and found the one at a young age.

4. The person wants to have a family, and the bigger the family, the more younger he/she may have to be. (Though there is nothing wrong with waiting until you're in your 30's to have kids, that's what I want too. But I only want 1-2 kids, so that's another factor to consider!)

5. The person has come from a conservative family, place, or religion that favors young marriages.

 

 

No matter how young or old you are, marital success has to have more than just the age of when the two people married each other; they have to understand about communication, honesty, being kind to one another, wanting to be team mates together in life, compatibility, having healthy coping skills, open minded about getting help when times are troubling, and wanting the same things out of life. You can find that with someone anywhere from age 18 to 88.

[RockyCruz]

So I'm 21 and soon to be done with college. It seems like everyday I log onto Facebook, I see 4-5 new engagements from people my age or younger.

 

Nah. It's your social circle mate. You see all that, and you think that's the world. I'll show you a different world, of ages 25s, 30s, some even 45, 50, not married. They don't give a damn about married INCLUDING me.

 

It depends on who you hang around with. Where you are in your life, the people you mix with and who is on your facebook page. People on my facebook page are not married except two. The rest are traveling around world, starting businesses, going for their dreams, got big goals and aspirations to achieve in their business, or ideas for projects and so on. Some got open relationship, others fbuddies, and so on and on.

 

Many factors but one, maybe youre from a certain culture community, maybe your facebook is of lots of people want to get married, social circle stuff.

[Molly01]

Well there are many people in the 30's and 40's who are still not married. Or worse there are people in that age group who married young but divorced afterwards. I personally know a couple who were high school sweethearts and got married soon after college. But they divorced now, after 12 years of marriage, because the feel their older selves does not get along with each other.

[soret]

I see this all the time and I find it incredibly annoying especially when a lot of the couples getting married haven't been together for a significant amount of time.

 

My parents got married when my mom was 24 and my father was 38. They divorced 14 years ago and because of this I'm not planning on getting married for quite awhile (I'm 22 now). So this may be a factor for some people but my mom has always told me to wait until I'm older and I've gotten to know the person for a few years.

 

I see way too many couples getting married only after a couple of years together, no stable jobs, no place of their own, etc. and for me that's sad because marriage is not an easy thing so why start out with nothing?