gj13 Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 Hey guys, My BF broke up with me in January and we kept contact and seeing each other until the last week of May (Worst idea, i know). We started NC because he met someone and went out with that girl. Since then i haven't heard a thing from him, not sure if they're dating or not (my guess is they are...). Anyways, sometimes I'm good other times it gets SO hard (namely weekends) but i haven't contacted him nor am I planning to. However the last week i kept on having different dreams where I'd run into him and it progressed up to the point where i find myself talking to him and him asking to meet and try again. Probably this is all part of my subconscious self since I miss him still. I hate those dreams cause i actually wake up feeling happy at some point, but they're far from the truth. Sometimes i "feel" like he's eventually going to contact me, but i try to bury that though (we were together for 4 1/2 years and had talks about engagement/marriage for this year). Anyone else had to deal with these sort of dreams? I'm hating it.
Always Pondering Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 I imagine it's normal to have dreams involving your ex after a break-up but I'm guessing they're occurring very frequently for you since you never really started NC until less than a month ago or so. It's completely understandable though, I used to have dreams literally every night or two. I didn't look much into the dreams as they were very random for the most part but if anything, I believed the dreams would just simply be a sign that you're missing the feelings of being in a relationship. The familiar love, the comfort. I'm sure a ton of people have had it, especially on LS! I've seen several threads about dreams involving exes. I only have one about every month or two nowadays. It takes time for these dreams to come less and less and when you move on with your healing process. They will go away though at some point, that I can guarantee.
Author gj13 Posted June 23, 2014 Author Posted June 23, 2014 Yes, I would think it's normal but i really hate the "i want to try again" type of dreams cause it just makes me "hopeful" within my own dreams and then i wake up and reality hits and its just harder to deal (spec during weekends). I can't shake the feeling that he's gonna get in touch eventually even if i try to kill it and try to keep myself busy at all times. It's all part of the rollercoaster i guess
Always Pondering Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 I read your story and I really do feel for you. I understand what it feels like to lose both your best friend and your love at the same time and to find out that they jumped straight to another person so quickly. For the longest time I kept secretly hoping they would break up and I kept asking myself "why them instead of me?" As jbelle said in your other thread, you can't go on living with that thought of "it's just a rebound, they'll break up eventually" because I did and that only hurt me. I'm glad you've started NC though, trust me you'll feel much better later on for it! I did have those dreams of reconciliation/"trying it out again" and the feeling of waking up from those. Trust me, they will go away. The problem with hoping that they will get in touch with you is that it probably won't happen. The more energy you invest into the thought of them, the more unlikely any contact will happen if at all. The only time my ex contacted me was when I least expected it. I've heard this happen a lot but not always. The weekends, mornings after you wake up from the dreams, and holidays are very brutal after just starting NC because your mind misses the comfort and the relationship. Just keep on going NC and things will inevitably get better . Talking to and hanging out with friends of course helps a ton, back when I was a total mess, those friends kept me from thinking about anything involving the relationship at all.
Author gj13 Posted June 23, 2014 Author Posted June 23, 2014 Thank you! Yes, im actually so much better than i thought i would (guess hoping for the worst helped me in a way...) and in reality i don't think he'd contact me any time soon. I have read about them contacting after you've lost all expectations, and if it happens at some point we'll see how i feel THEN, but for now i'm keeping my NC cause i do feel much happier than what i felt the last few months (weird, huh?). Thank you for your reply, I'm going to keep the positive vibe and thoughts around me. I'm starting dance lessons again so that along with work should keep me busy and focused THANKS!
Omei Posted June 23, 2014 Posted June 23, 2014 Its been a year and months for me I still dream about my ex on a weekly basis. I think it stays that way till you move on with someone else they're just dreams. dreams are usually about what we fear or really want.
Michael 93 Posted June 24, 2014 Posted June 24, 2014 Hey guys, My BF broke up with me in January and we kept contact and seeing each other until the last week of May (Worst idea, i know). We started NC because he met someone and went out with that girl. Since then i haven't heard a thing from him, not sure if they're dating or not (my guess is they are...). Anyways, sometimes I'm good other times it gets SO hard (namely weekends) but i haven't contacted him nor am I planning to. However the last week i kept on having different dreams where I'd run into him and it progressed up to the point where i find myself talking to him and him asking to meet and try again. Probably this is all part of my subconscious self since I miss him still. I hate those dreams cause i actually wake up feeling happy at some point, but they're far from the truth. Sometimes i "feel" like he's eventually going to contact me, but i try to bury that though (we were together for 4 1/2 years and had talks about engagement/marriage for this year). Anyone else had to deal with these sort of dreams? I'm hating it. This is scary how similar this is to me! even the dates down to the detail. How are you coping at the moment?
Author gj13 Posted June 24, 2014 Author Posted June 24, 2014 This is scary how similar this is to me! even the dates down to the detail. How are you coping at the moment? I'm so much better than i thought i would be, tbh! Mon-fri i'm Ok, work keeps me busy and i'm trying to meet up with co-workers and friends after it and just diving into books and netflix at night. It's working so far, i do think of him everyday and sometimes in a good way and sometimes kinda mad but it's all normal i guess. I don't cry much anymore. I still miss him but i'm doing good. Weekends are harder, specially saturday. But i found that this last saturday was so much easier than the one before and so on... it IS true and it DOES get easier. I still have hope at some point, but i try to kill it to avoid any expectations and delay healing. I just told myself that my priority RIGHT now is ME. Bettering myself and just being happy about my life... if anything else comes from that well awesome. It's time to be a little, say selfish if you please, but its overdue after all the pain i've been going through this year How are YOU?
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