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Posted

I'm into NC about 2 weeks, and just having a terribly sad day. Does anyone have a go-to article or saying or quote that they tell themselves when the grief feels overwhelming? I know I am doing the right thing, etc. etc. but right now I feel so damn sad.

Posted
I'm into NC about 2 weeks, and just having a terribly sad day. Does anyone have a go-to article or saying or quote that they tell themselves when the grief feels overwhelming? I know I am doing the right thing, etc. etc. but right now I feel so damn sad.

 

Yes.... my signature.

 

I can't remember your details but I'll read back posts and refresh my memory. Hang in there... it gets better I promise. Every day is a success.

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Posted

I revisit some of the lowest moments in the R and find myself feeling those negative feelings I want to run from.

 

I then enjoy the thought that my conscience is now clear before God. The pathway between Him and me is open and clear.

 

Then I think of the possibility that I may have gone on another year, two or three in the R with no resolution or with him finally telling me he couldn't go through with the D. Etc etc etc.

 

Also, I exult (yes, I do) in knowing I have no secrets from my close friends and family. There's nothing to hide and it feels so good.

 

Hang in there, RegretfulAlways. You can do this and the worst is behind you.

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Posted

I remember being where you were. Devastating crushing pain, a pile of tears, not eating, barely sleeping or over sleeping. I was so empty.

But I did change everything beginning with deleting my email and blocking him everywhere.

Then I changed my work time, changed the way I drove to work, changed my music, threw away clothes he liked, avoided ALL triggers.

I nearly pretended he was dead but there were days I allowed some crying.

In a few weeks, maybe 3, I started feeling lighter, a small smile started to return, he became further and further from being the center of my thoughts and the pain started becoming more and more dull.

If I was that easy to move on from then I wanted to not wallow or give him a lot more of my tears and self worth. I took my life back to. It took effort but it will happen if your proactive about it.

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Posted

I have a quote when life gets too sad:

 

the Garden of Eden is here and now.

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Posted

I think of the possibility that I may have gone on another year, two or three in the R with no resolution or with him finally telling me he couldn't go through with the D. Etc etc etc.

 

SpeakingofWhich: In addition to what you said about having a clear conscience before God (very true), I love this, above. Since we had no DD there is this irrational part of me that thinks I could've kept things going with him. No way, and thanks for reminding me of what would've happened.

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Posted
I did change everything beginning with deleting my email and blocking him everywhere.

Then I changed my work time, changed the way I drove to work, changed my music, threw away clothes he liked, avoided ALL triggers.

 

GREAT ADVICE. I can tie all my sadness from yesterday back to allowing myself to get caught up in TRIGGERS! Thanks, really helpful.

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