rester Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 Well, it seems like they aren't really my friends anyway, so I should probably let them go. Are you so hung up in Facebook validation that you are going to abandon your friends? I've seen this sort of thing happen to numerous women, and it boggles my mind. A good friend of mine throughout my 20s was so petty that she would cross friends off her list for the dumbest, slightest infractions. By the time she was 30 she had very few friends left and I couldn't put up with her pettiness anymore, either. She was a good person but was so sensitive that she lost all of her friends. Friends and family are going to hurt your feelings. It's part of life. What you need to do is learn how to react appropriately. Your expectation of friends wishing you a happy birthday is what is causing your pain. Learn not to expect anything from anyone unless you specifically ask for it directly. It'll save you a lot of heartache. Link to post Share on other sites
Glinda.Good Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 If this is what you have for a problem in your life, you are such a lucky person! Frankly, few people who are not in high school put this much stock in Facebook activity. It's not worth it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 IRL, the best way to have a friend is to BE a friend. The best way to hear "HBD" is to SAY "HBD" (on the appropriate day to each person of course). I assume it is the same on FB. BTW, how many times did you post "HBD" on FB in 2011, 2012, 2013, and 2014? Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 (edited) I always enjoy counting birthday wishes on my birthday on FB, but don't let it ruin your day. Sometimes it really depends on who sees the notifications. I rarely see them and I rarely post happy birthday on facebook unless it's someone close to me. You're probably seeing the change in numbers because there are probably users who are less active on facebook as the years have gone by. Also, if it makes you feel any better, I had to plan my own party and buy my own birthday cake. My dad was too lazy to go get it, so he asked my brother, who flaked out. When I got to his house, he was sleeping and had no cake, so I had to go fetch the birthday cake myself and getting him to pay me back for the cake he promised to pay for was a pain in arse. Edited June 23, 2014 by pink_sugar Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 I always enjoy counting birthday wishes on my birthday on FB, but don't let it ruin your day. Sometimes it really depends on who sees the notifications. I rarely see them and I rarely post happy birthday on facebook unless it's someone close to me. You're probably seeing the change in numbers because there are probably users who are less active on facebook as the years have gone by. Ha! Same! This year I think I got 170 ish HBD wishes on FB. I know most of them did it because it said so on their FB. And that's fine! I only get upset when it's close friends who forget. Those who really should NOT forget and should probably even be texting/calling, rather than sending a FB message. Other than that, I'm good! Sometimes I'm surprised by the people who do it, specially if we haven't interacted in a while. I do tend to wish HBD to people when I see the notification. But sometimes, if it's a distant acquaintance, I let it slide... My point is, don't let it bring you down! I was a lot more upset by people cancelling on my bday plans ON THE DAY than by people no wishing me happy birthday! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxmusical Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 (edited) I was a lot more upset by people cancelling on my bday plans ON THE DAY than by people no wishing me happy birthday! Yeah, I had this happened to me too before. Quite upsetting! I think one of the main reasons people aren't wishing happy birthday as much as previous years is because more people are using their cell phones for FB. You don't see birthdays on the front page (newsfeed) on FB mobile app; you have to click, click, click several times before you actually see the birthday calendar (unlike FB on the computer, which you see it immediately on the right hand side). So really it's no wonder people have no idea it was your birthday. Even so, for friends who I am close to, I would text instead of FB, because FB is just...too public sometimes. I would be pretty hurt if my close friends forgot my birthday (which DID happen!), although they did say HBD a day later (probably after seeing people wishing me HBD on FB!)... But yeah, I feel like birthdays are important to some, but not as important to others. And as we grow older, it's just better to let these things slide, because I really don't want to accept the fact that I'm growing yet another year older! Btw, you mentioned your debate friends. Have you ever told them IRL that it was your birthday? Or did you expect them to know it through FB? Not everyone goes on FB the same amount as you even if you're all around the same age. Nonetheless, happy belated birthday to you! Edited June 24, 2014 by xxmusical Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 They weren't busy, they posted stuff on Facebook that showed up on my newsfeed, and I saw they were online. They probably just don't like me that much, which is the entire point of my original post. They aren't really my friends, which is sad. What's sad isn't so much that you are using Facebook to validate yourself, but you certainly are using it to validate (i.e. assign value to) your friends. And yes, that truly is sad. Regardless, it has evolved into being a major part of our lives. Apple was started in a garage. Ben and Jerry's started in a rundown gas station. Neither were initially meant to be a "major part of our lives" but they are now. If either Apple or Ben & Jerry's were causing you to question your friendships, I would be just as concerned. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Yeah, I had this happened to me too before. Quite upsetting! I think one of the main reasons people aren't wishing happy birthday as much as previous years is because more people are using their cell phones for FB. You don't see birthdays on the front page (newsfeed) on FB mobile app; you have to click, click, click several times before you actually see the birthday calendar (unlike FB on the computer, which you see it immediately on the right hand side). So really it's no wonder people have no idea it was your birthday. Even so, for friends who I am close to, I would text instead of FB, because FB is just...too public sometimes. I would be pretty hurt if my close friends forgot my birthday (which DID happen!), although they did say HBD a day later (probably after seeing people wishing me HBD on FB!)... But yeah, I feel like birthdays are important to some, but not as important to others. And as we grow older, it's just better to let these things slide, because I really don't want to accept the fact that I'm growing yet another year older! Btw, you mentioned your debate friends. Have you ever told them IRL that it was your birthday? Or did you expect them to know it through FB? Not everyone goes on FB the same amount as you even if you're all around the same age. Nonetheless, happy belated birthday to you! This! I use my phone most of the time and don't get notifed. Link to post Share on other sites
NoodleNuts Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Honestly, I never pay attention to the birthdays on Facebook. Sorry, but I get on Facebook MAYBE once a week if that. I'm sure there are many Facebook friends who did not get a birthday wish from me. Facebook is not my go-to place for social interactions. I think a lot of people just keep Facebook around because they set up an account once long ago and didn't bother to delete it. Maybe they want to see family photos a couple of times per year. Or maybe they're only on it to play games. Anyway, Facebook shouuld not your measure of self worth. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 But isn't sort of real life, since people use it so much? And you can see how much someone posts etc. Do they do it to others? I feel the same when maybe I shouldn't post because when I do rarely post eg being in hospital, no one besides my sister, answered. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted June 28, 2014 Share Posted June 28, 2014 It's hard for young people not to judge their self worth on Facebook. Before I joined (very late), people would look at me as if I had two heads, when I got asked. Then actually asked me "then how do you communicate with people?". As if Theres no other options! Link to post Share on other sites
Kcame30 Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 Try to get over the embarrasement and just ask them. 'Where the **** is my birthday wish? There's no excuse because I saw you on Facebook posting and liking posts ON my bday.' 'What the hell is going on here? Did you stop liking me?!' I'm sure you'll get a response then. BTW, I'm not much of a people person so try to tell them nicely;-) I hope you still had a great bday. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 Try to get over the embarrasement and just ask them. 'Where the **** is my birthday wish? There's no excuse because I saw you on Facebook posting and liking posts ON my bday.' 'What the hell is going on here? Did you stop liking me?!' I'm sure you'll get a response then. BTW, I'm not much of a people person so try to tell them nicely;-) NO no... I think the aggressive approach is good. Binge-watch some TV cop shows for effective investigative approaches: "I've got evidence that puts you on Facebook at oh-nine-hundred hours, yet you failed to issue me a birthday wish! If you come clean now, I can help you, but otherwise, you're looking at serious repercussions. So what do you think: we gonna do this the easy way, or the hard way?" You've got to hit them fast and hit them hard. Link to post Share on other sites
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