SpotyLove Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I've been on five dates with a girl in the past few weeks. On the fourth date, I was a bit drunk and very horny at the end of the night. We made out and we exchanged manual genital stimulation. She stayed at my apartment that night. We had a fifth date at her place, but we only made out and I went home. There is certainly some physical chemistry there but I'm still unsure of her as a person. I'd like to continue getting to know her, but I don't feel ready to be exclusive. I still have a desire to date some other women. I realize the judicial contact was probably too early but I can't take it back. We haven't discussed exclusivity but I'm not sure what I described would imply it. I'm not currently seeing anyone else, but have some unexpected prospects. Would it be wrong to continue exploring options while seeing her or should I just let her go?
deathandtaxes Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 No need to be exclusive just because you got hot and heavy. You become exclusive when you only want to see her and nobody else, and you don't want her dating other people. You don't have to let her go, but you don't have to be exclusive if you don't want to.
leavesonautumn Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I agree with Death, unless she is expressing that she wants to be exclusive there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting to know her while meeting other people. She could be on the same page as you. Also, "we exchanged manual genital stimulation" sounds like the unsessiest sessy time ever . 3
giblesp Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 You're not in love with her and will never be, as you're considering other people. Let her go. 1
giblesp Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I agree with Death, unless she is expressing that she wants to be exclusive there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting to know her while meeting other people. She could be on the same page as you. . That's really romantic.
Author SpotyLove Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 You're not in love with her and will never be, as you're considering other people. Let her go. Is being in love after 5 dates really possible? She is attractive and has great dating etiquette. I know she likes me a lot by her actions. I do like her, I'm just not head over heels.
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 There is no time table about when or under what circumstances exclusivity happens. Some people require it before sex. Others are more open. The key is coming to a place where both people are happy & satisfied with the status of the relationship because they are on the same page.
leavesonautumn Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 That's really romantic. Um, what does romance have to do with it? I'm not saying he should treat her like **** but if what they're doing is making them happy then what's wrong with it? He said he's interested in getting to know her more, I don't think you fall in love after a few dates. Maybe you missed this part of my post: "unless she is expressing that she wants to be exclusive there's nothing wrong with having fun and getting to know her"
Author SpotyLove Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 There is no time table about when or under what circumstances exclusivity happens. Some people require it before sex. Others are more open. The key is coming to a place where both people are happy & satisfied with the status of the relationship because they are on the same page. I've only had two lasting relationships and I seem to be more confident in the past. Is it normal to still not have strong feelings either way at this point? I'm not sure if it's because I have more dating experience now or she's just bit a great fit.
Raena Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Just my humble opinion... I'd think that after 5 dates you should have a pretty clear idea of whether or not you click with her and want something more serious. The fact that you are thinking about dating others tells me that she really isn't the right one for you. 1
Author SpotyLove Posted June 21, 2014 Author Posted June 21, 2014 Just my humble opinion... I'd think that after 5 dates you should have a pretty clear idea of whether or not you click with her and want something more serious. The fact that you are thinking about dating others tells me that she really isn't the right one for you. Unfortunately, I might not be giving her a fair chance. Her personality and lifestyle remind me of the only woman I ever truly loved. While no two people are the same, I can't help but wonder if the same problems could occur again. I've dated more women this year than I probably have in my whole life. The more I date the more confused I get about what I want. Life is full of trade offs and I don't know what's best for me anymore. 1
Leigh 87 Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 I personally wouldnt want to be exlusive with a guy who I wasnt head over heels for. And 5 dates is long enough to know whether you're head over heels. Not many people believe in the strong mutual chemistry that leave to early head over heels feelings; most people will attest that falling hard and fast tends to result in it crashing and burning hard and fast.. Personally, I require a man to be very into me by 5 dates. Your reaction to her wouldnt fly with me. I need a guy to be crazy about me... And not just grow find me very slowly. There is nothing wrong though with the slowly burning method wherby you are not head over heels. These relationships tends to last longer than the more passionate and short lived one 1
giblesp Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Um, what does romance have to do with it?" Hope you find out.
giblesp Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 I do like her, I'm just not head over heels. That wont change. Let her go.
leavesonautumn Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Hope you find out. You know, relationships with people aren't just "friends" and "romantic partners". There are a lot of grey areas. I've experienced romance in my life and I've also experienced not having romance. I'll stick with my opinion, thanks for yours.
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