roshach Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I desperately need some help as i dont know what to do with my relationship anymore. My partner is constantly in moods and puts me down and hurts my feelings and when i call her up about it she just says she is telling the truth, i will give you an example: we were in the car with our nieces and i said as a joke that i was going to pick her up from the airport holding a sign displaying her middle name which she hates, she turned around and said i would not be able to do that if i wasnt so pathetic and could fly my self (i suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and find it very hard to travel). it all came to a head this week - while she was away i did some work on the house (literally working 10-12 hours a day); unfortunately i was in such a rush to get it done before she came home I made some mistakes and left some mess (holes in wall, paint on decking, kitchen lino needs recutting). She came home and hit the roof basically telling me i was useless and have ruined our house and she does not want to speak to me ever again - all day yesterday she was texting me abuse and continued screaming and shouting all last night until finally telling me to leave her alone for good. I have told her i am sorry and have tried to make peace but she refuses. I just think she is being unreasonable and unfair and its not an isolated incident - she often treats me like this and when i tell her she hurts my feelings she says she is only being honest or laughs at me and calls me pathetic and useless. I think i should leave but i love her so much i just dont know what to do...
David87 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 But it's to late to leave because she already dumped you in a very awful way. You did the best you could but it wasn't enough. It's done. Start NC.
Smarty Pants Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I desperately need some help as i dont know what to do with my relationship anymore. My partner is constantly in moods and puts me down and hurts my feelings and when i call her up about it she just says she is telling the truth, i will give you an example: we were in the car with our nieces and i said as a joke that i was going to pick her up from the airport holding a sign displaying her middle name which she hates, she turned around and said i would not be able to do that if i wasnt so pathetic and could fly my self (i suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and find it very hard to travel). it all came to a head this week - while she was away i did some work on the house (literally working 10-12 hours a day); unfortunately i was in such a rush to get it done before she came home I made some mistakes and left some mess (holes in wall, paint on decking, kitchen lino needs recutting). She came home and hit the roof basically telling me i was useless and have ruined our house and she does not want to speak to me ever again - all day yesterday she was texting me abuse and continued screaming and shouting all last night until finally telling me to leave her alone for good. I have told her i am sorry and have tried to make peace but she refuses. I just think she is being unreasonable and unfair and its not an isolated incident - she often treats me like this and when i tell her she hurts my feelings she says she is only being honest or laughs at me and calls me pathetic and useless. I think i should leave but i love her so much i just dont know what to do... She told you to leave her alone for good. Give her what she wants, walk away and never look back.
cupic Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 OP, she sounds like a horrible, abusive woman who takes advantage of your good nature. She clearly doesnt appreciate the work that you do, and has no problem abusing you at her whim without remorse. She also doesnt respect you at all. I dont know what your living or finanicial situation is, but I would reccomend to you that you leave her, break up, go no contact, and move on with your life. You deserve to be happy with someone who loves you, for your qualities and your faults. Good luck, and if you are feeling anxious, this is always a great place to talk and get it out. 1
Zahara Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I think i should leave but i love her so much i just dont know what to do... You should leave. When a woman like your ex abuses you and you keep sticking around and appeasing her, the only thing she'll do is keep abusing you because 1) she can 2) it gives her control and power 3) she gets a sick satisfaction in emasculating and diminishing you. This is what abusers do. She does not love you. Please leave. Stay NC and do not revisit this again. You have to know deep down inside that no one should be treated this way. If you had a son and a woman treated him this horribly, what would you say to him? Apply the same advice to yourself. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Before you do anything you need to sort out the real estate, especially if you own it together. If that is not an issue, her nastiness would drive me away too. You need to get out for your own good. 1
LostConfused123 Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 Run for your life!! I lived with an abusive man for only 4 months because I couldn't take it anymore. It gets worse!! Trust me. GET OUT FAST!! 2
LostConfused123 Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 Just to clarify, not most recent ex. And my situation was a man but women can be just as abusive. Anyway, best of luck.
Author roshach Posted June 21, 2014 Author Posted June 21, 2014 Thanks for the advice I stayed at my brothers last night and it was text after text of telling me to come home otherwise she would smash my things and that I could not have the car to go and seem granny and she would dump my clothes at my Nans and tell her what has been going on (my nan is elderly and I don't want her to know what is happening as it will upset her). She really is nasty and vindictive every time I try to leave she threatens me like this. Oh and apparently childish and pathetic and have over reacted by leaving yeh right.
Zahara Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 (edited) If you have to leave with just the clothes on your back, then leave. Get your brother over to help you get your things and move out. If she causes trouble, call the police. Let your Nan know what's going on and if she starts to harass your Nan, tell her you will call the police. Tell your Nan not to open the door to her or entertain her calls. She acts this way because she know she can bully you -- you'll just shut up and take it. Be a man and show her that you aren't afraid of her. Stop being a damn doormat. Stop finding excuses or complaining about this - do something about it, NOW. You said she does this everytime you leave -- a merry go round cycle same crap different day. Make a decision and stick to it. I hate when men allow women to walk all over them. Then sit and complain. Do something about it. Please leave and never look back. I'm not sure what it's going to take for you to have the courage to walk away. Edited June 21, 2014 by Zahara
d0nnivain Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 Threats to my elderly grandmother would spur me into leaving not staying. I would pre-emptively tell my grandmother that this person may try to contact her & that grandma should call the cops if she shows up. Then I'd go home & pack.
DarkKnight1 Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 Shes Crazy But, The First Time She Came At You With Her BS You Should Have Checked Her On It And Tell Her You Will Not Accept That Kind Off Behavior. How Can You Love Someone Who Treats You Like This Is My Question To You Sir.
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