rizzban29 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Okay so basically Im a mid 20s male going out with a girl 10 years older for the last 1.5 years. Last night, I went to a bar with my friend and he brought a lot of his girl friends, who are my age. They were hot, but I wasnt paying them too much attention as I was occupied talking to my friend and my girl. Apparently, my girl says I was "talking to them as if I was interested". I dont think I was . she got really jealous, but I reminded her that in the past she has gone for hours out with guy "friends" and then later told me they had other intentions. Yet we were in a group setting here. But heres the twist... .. I felt refreshed and in my element being around girls my own age. And I found them really attractive. Dont get me wrong, I have felt love for my girl now and still have deep love for her, but I feel like these temptations are luring me.. and its not just lust, I feel I am missing out on things. I have been practicing meditation and trying to live in the moment, but its hard to get rid of the worrying I do that if this relationship is right. It sounds horrible, but sometimes I wish my girl woul just end it. Do I have serious GIGS or is this natural? Help, please what do I do...
Smarty Pants Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Sounds like you just don't want to be with your girlfriend anymore. The fact you are posting on here should tell you that it needs to end.
Zahara Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 but sometimes I wish my girl woul just end it. ... That's telling. It's indicative that if she did it, you'd be accepting of it -- in that sense it seems that an ending is what you really want. Don't waste her time or your time anymore. You are clearly not as invested, some invested but not all invested. Life is too short to be with someone that's making you feel held back.
Elle1975 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Okay so basically Im a mid 20s male going out with a girl 10 years older for the last 1.5 years. Last night, I went to a bar with my friend and he brought a lot of his girl friends, who are my age. They were hot, but I wasnt paying them too much attention as I was occupied talking to my friend and my girl. Apparently, my girl says I was "talking to them as if I was interested". I dont think I was . she got really jealous, but I reminded her that in the past she has gone for hours out with guy "friends" and then later told me they had other intentions. Yet we were in a group setting here. But heres the twist... .. I felt refreshed and in my element being around girls my own age. And I found them really attractive. Dont get me wrong, I have felt love for my girl now and still have deep love for her, but I feel like these temptations are luring me.. and its not just lust, I feel I am missing out on things. I have been practicing meditation and trying to live in the moment, but its hard to get rid of the worrying I do that if this relationship is right. It sounds horrible, but sometimes I wish my girl woul just end it. Do I have serious GIGS or is this natural? Help, please what do I do... I was just talking to one of my friends this morning. His wife is 10 years older. He doesn't have a problem with that, but you do. If you feel you are missing out, then I would end it. You can't love her "just for now", because you have more years than her ahead of you to change your mind, and still have time to build a life with somebody else.
d0nnivain Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I sense a bit of GIGS but only you know if your present relationship has run it's course.
Author rizzban29 Posted June 21, 2014 Author Posted June 21, 2014 Yea but the worst thing is I feel like this will be pass and I am just being a guy interested in other girls. I feel like I still need to reach a better understanding of my true feelings between us. There is definitely something really special between us both, and it seems so foolish to end it. Yet every day I think about the hypothetical questions of "what if". Im not sure if this is a personality default on my end, but when I did try to end it months ago I broke down in tears and had a panic attack in public, and she helped me, and I realised how dumb I had been. But here I am again, thinking the same...
marcjb Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 (edited) We don't know enough about your current relationship. 1.5 years is a decent amount of time, yet the honeymoon phase has probably worn off just recently. Sounds like GiGS. You get credit for being self-aware. It seems like you are interested in these other girls or other girls in general just because they're younger and your girlfriend is fairly older than you? Personally, I learned something when I was in my mid twenties. Being with other women physically and intimately is not very different from one to the other. I'm sure others will probably disagree, but for me that's how it is. When I find someone that I click with and they are at least decently attractive, I cherish it because that's what's important. It sounds like you were holding in resentment towards your girlfriend regarding the guy "friends". If you continue your current relationship that needs to stop. She needs to understand that opposite gender "friends" are never just "friends". Vice versa for you with these other women though. The grass is not going to be greener just because they are young. The novelty will wear off fairly quick once you realize that most of them are probably more shallow. Edited June 21, 2014 by marcjb 1
jbelle6 Posted June 22, 2014 Posted June 22, 2014 Well, since you were interested in these girls your girl was right, we pick up on things even if you think you are being subtle. She saw through you. Don't hurt her, if you don't want her then let her go find someone that does.
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