RonChalant Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 ...and I am still in love with her, which sucks. Together for 8 years and it finally came crumbling down, which it was time for it to happen I guess. Neither of us were happy, I was cheating, she was cheating, we were really only together because we had been together for so long and were extremely comfortable together. Honestly I was a bit dependent on her without knowing. I have become 100 times the person I was when we were together, make a lot more money, own my own nice car, fixed my credit, became a man I guess is the long and short of it, but here I am almost be year later and still think about her DAILY! We attempted to be "friends" maybe twice but I was always the one getting in contact with her so I ended that both times. I have a new gf now who I love, but no where near as much as I love/loved my ex and we're pulling 2 years so far. I feel like I will never love anyone as much as I loved the ex, even though the last 3 years of the relationship were harsh, it was still a point in time where I was extremely in love. I REFUSE to contact her anymore, but with as much as I think about her sometimes I feel like I should stop being so prideful and just actually try to get her back. How can I have grown so much as a person, have 100x the life I had while with her, yet still not be able to get her off of my mind?
Mary Oak Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Unfortunately, I have no answer for you. It has been almost two years and I am in the same place as you are... I don't get it either... I read how so many people get over their ex in six months or so, but I can't rid her of my mind... I agree... sucks. 1
jphcbpa Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Honestly I was a bit dependent on her without knowing. this is what you need to be looking at. that dependency is a "pull", not love. you think you are missing "love" with you new g/f but it is probably much more healthy and real. It is available. You are probably much more compatible with your current g/f. were you doing most of the work while in the R with your ex? was is often/more than not a one way street?
realfriends Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Id like to follow this link but ill also share. I saw a post one of these past weeks about getting over someone. I ask myself what does it really mean to get over someone and I think everyones definition will be different. I think when you come to a point where you can forgive yourself and your ex of the mistakes you made and learn from them, then you are at a good place. When someone was so influential in your life, you'll never totally forget them. They might slip your mind a few days, but never for good. You just have to tell yourself thats part of getting over it and moving on. I stand by a saying that some may not agree with, but it helps me put things into perspective. "Im not getting over it, just getting used to it." I could be wrong about all of this. Im not even a year in, thats why Id like to see the perspective from people further along this journey. Sorry for the pain you have endured, but it sounds like you have strived to become a better all around person and have accomplished that. You should hold your chin up high my friend
Author RonChalant Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 this is what you need to be looking at. that dependency is a "pull", not love. you think you are missing "love" with you new g/f but it is probably much more healthy and real. It is available. You are probably much more compatible with your current g/f. were you doing most of the work while in the R with your ex? was is often/more than not a one way street? Towards the last month of it all it was definitely a one way thing where I was doing the majority of the work, up until that point it was a back and forth thing. Like I said we were both unhappy so it just kinda became a thing of "trying" to much to fix something that just wasn't able to be fixed at the time. The relationship needed to end I will say that much, it's just how it all finally ended that hurt me the most but that's another story. Id like to follow this link but ill also share. I saw a post one of these past weeks about getting over someone. I ask myself what does it really mean to get over someone and I think everyones definition will be different. I think when you come to a point where you can forgive yourself and your ex of the mistakes you made and learn from them, then you are at a good place. When someone was so influential in your life, you'll never totally forget them. They might slip your mind a few days, but never for good. You just have to tell yourself thats part of getting over it and moving on. I stand by a saying that some may not agree with, but it helps me put things into perspective. "Im not getting over it, just getting used to it." I could be wrong about all of this. Im not even a year in, thats why Id like to see the perspective from people further along this journey. Sorry for the pain you have endured, but it sounds like you have strived to become a better all around person and have accomplished that. You should hold your chin up high my friend "Getting used to it" is a true statement. When all the ish hit the fan and everything ended I was a mess. Took about a year to actually be able to even think about it and not break down. After that it was the fact that we would randomly contact each other that made things hard, she seemed to only do so when her new bf was being as ass. She actually texted me about 2 months ago after another random 3 weeks of attempting to be friends before she just faded to black on me again...then randomly pop up with an "I'm Sorry" text -_- THAT was one of my greatest moments since we broke up, normally I would just at any text sent either just to make convo, or even just to argue how she's not a good person/friend whatever. The fact that I without hesitation deleted the text is big for me lol. I do miss her still though...One of those battle scars we all have I guess
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