Stronger14 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I moved back home to the town that my ex and I spent nearly all the time during the relationship. And it really sucks. I am constantly reminded of her everywhere, from my house (especially my bedroom) to the places we used to frequent such as restaurants, bars, stores, etc. I can't seem to get her memory out of my mind, and I keep thinking about how it would be to run into her since we both live in the same town.. Which gets me to my question: does anyone recommend / have advice on moving away? I am in my early 20s, recent college grad with a job in NYC, and up until the breakup I haven't even thought of moving out of my hometown (I had plans to move in with my ex) Obviously, the situation changed. I am 6 months post breakup after a 2.5 year relationship, and I am not over her yet. I've been no contact, but I can't seem to shake the thoughts and memories. Do you guys think starting a new life somewhere else will help? I am at the point where I'm not comfortable being home. I don't have many friends here, and the prospective girl scene isn't too great. NYC seems like a good option to move. I'm not thinking about moving BECAUSE the breakup, rather because I want to start my life anew and I think it may help the moving on process. Has anyone moved after a breakup, and has it helped?
drallafi Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I moved back home to the town that my ex and I spent nearly all the time during the relationship. And it really sucks. I am constantly reminded of her everywhere, from my house (especially my bedroom) to the places we used to frequent such as restaurants, bars, stores, etc. I can't seem to get her memory out of my mind, and I keep thinking about how it would be to run into her since we both live in the same town.. Which gets me to my question: does anyone recommend / have advice on moving away? I am in my early 20s, recent college grad with a job in NYC, and up until the breakup I haven't even thought of moving out of my hometown (I had plans to move in with my ex) Obviously, the situation changed. I am 6 months post breakup after a 2.5 year relationship, and I am not over her yet. I've been no contact, but I can't seem to shake the thoughts and memories. Do you guys think starting a new life somewhere else will help? I am at the point where I'm not comfortable being home. I don't have many friends here, and the prospective girl scene isn't too great. NYC seems like a good option to move. I'm not thinking about moving BECAUSE the breakup, rather because I want to start my life anew and I think it may help the moving on process. Has anyone moved after a breakup, and has it helped? Similar feelings to a breakup I had in 2011. Everywhere I looked, I saw remnants of her and of "us". It was very hard. I didn't want to see it any more so I moved about 25 miles to a new city. Made some new friends. It helped, a lot. It didn't really speed up the healing, but it took my mind off her a bit. She was still close-by but luckily I never ran into her.
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I moved from the SF area WITH my ex to a small town in Northern CA. When we broke up I was miserable and on constant vigil as to not run into her. No easy task in a town of less than 100,000 (small to me ) And every place there was a place that we had discovered together. Nothing was just mine. Everything had a memory of her attached to it. I was constantly reminded of her and always sad. It was terrible!! So, once I lost my job in CA, I decided to keep going north by MYSELF. Now I'm in Portland and making a new life for myself. So far, it has been a great decision. Lots of new people and new experiences and no chance of seeing the ex. When I first got here I went exploring almost everyday. For almost three months. The coast, the mountains, parks, bars, restaurants, downtown, art districts, etc. Spent a lot of money, but well worth it!! I figured that way, all of these new things would be all mine, and no matter what or who happened to me, it would all still be mine, not ours!! I say go for it!!! 3
Author Stronger14 Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 Anyone else have any thoughts / experiences to share? Would moving into a new environment help the moving on process?
Smarty Pants Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Don't make the decision to move based on one person. I went to college with my ex for 5 years, in the same city I'm living in. Everything in this city reminded me of her. I went through the same thing. Everything reminded me of her, even my own house. Those things fade with time. Moving somewhere new can be very stressful and difficult, especially if you don't know anyone. Think long and hard about it or it might turn into something you'll regret. 1
Chi townD Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Yeah dude, move! Mntbiker said it best and take a page out of his book. Although, I'm not sure about NYC. I've been and I thought people in Chicago were rude. Chicago doesn't hold a candle to NY. Plus, NY is expensive as hell and you'll find yourself living from paycheck to paycheck. Personally, I like to be able to put some money away to save for trips I want to take and things I might want to buy for myself.
edgygirl Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 You should know NYC is hell for dating if you're looking for something meaningful. I am a woman and probably much older than you so I might not know the reality of your age bracket though. But both men and woman older than 35 get burned and disillusioned here.
Chi townD Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Hell, move to somewhere warm with palm tree's and beaches. If nothing else, great eye candy all the time! So, move to Tampa or Miami.
True Gent Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 After my breakup I was living in our old house on my own. It was a living hell even going to the local supermarket was a constant reminder of our life together. Not to mention sitting in our living room, on our sofa, using our shower etc... Etc... I moved into a new place in a different city. I didn't move really far away, but it was far enough to remove all of the triggers associated with the life we shared. It helped me MASSIVELY! Honestly it was an instant relief moving into somewhere where there were no memories and no traces of her. My local supermarket is a one we never went to, the same applies to all of my local imeniteies. I highly recommend moving on to a new home. It doesn't mean you'll heal faster, but it really does help you on your way. If I hadn't moved I'd feel like I was living in limbo with her ghost, I can't say enough how much better I felt for moving away. I recommend it. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I'm a big believer in environmental changes after a break up. I have never done anything as drastic as move but rearranging the furniture & getting a new hairstyle have helped me. Changing certain routines to avoid places we used to go together is also a good idea. If you can get a job in NYC, now's the time to go before you have the types of ties that won't allow you to just up & move.
Survivor12 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I moved back home to the town that my ex and I spent nearly all the time during the relationship. And it really sucks. I am constantly reminded of her everywhere, from my house (especially my bedroom) to the places we used to frequent such as restaurants, bars, stores, etc. I can't seem to get her memory out of my mind, and I keep thinking about how it would be to run into her since we both live in the same town.. Which gets me to my question: does anyone recommend / have advice on moving away? I am in my early 20s, recent college grad with a job in NYC, and up until the breakup I haven't even thought of moving out of my hometown (I had plans to move in with my ex) Obviously, the situation changed. I am 6 months post breakup after a 2.5 year relationship, and I am not over her yet. I've been no contact, but I can't seem to shake the thoughts and memories. Do you guys think starting a new life somewhere else will help? I am at the point where I'm not comfortable being home. I don't have many friends here, and the prospective girl scene isn't too great. NYC seems like a good option to move. I'm not thinking about moving BECAUSE the breakup, rather because I want to start my life anew and I think it may help the moving on process. Has anyone moved after a breakup, and has it helped? As a matter of fact, I did move after a breakup (although it wasn't the only reason, it was a factor) --to NYC! For me, it was very helpful. Since I had never been there with him, there were no "reminders" and lots of distractions. Keeping busy isn't a problem as I'm sure you know. Also, whenever I felt lonely, there were plenty of people to talk to. Most of all, making the move itself gave me a real sense of taking control of my life and the diversity surrounding me was incredibly energizing and inspiring. My advice--if you love the City--go for it!
Author Stronger14 Posted June 21, 2014 Author Posted June 21, 2014 As a matter of fact, I did move after a breakup (although it wasn't the only reason, it was a factor) --to NYC! For me, it was very helpful. Since I had never been there with him, there were no "reminders" and lots of distractions. Keeping busy isn't a problem as I'm sure you know. Also, whenever I felt lonely, there were plenty of people to talk to. Most of all, making the move itself gave me a real sense of taking control of my life and the diversity surrounding me was incredibly energizing and inspiring. My advice--if you love the City--go for it! I really do love the city. And yes, I have a nicely paying job that I will be starting in November.. I just graduated from college. I am glad to hear that people have had success in moving to new environment.. I just feel like I need to get away from this town and everything that reminds me of my ex.. I need to start over
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