Has anyone else dated someone who cheated with a ridiculous amount of people?

[Justaguy30]

I would like to find someone who can relate to my feelings as to being cheated on by a woman who did it with anyone anywhere. Its really hard getting over being cheated on so many times and her sleeping with 50 plus men. Its a new level of hurt.

[Cr8tivePassion]

I'm praying that you aren't with this woman. If only to save yourself from contracting a disease.

[SammySammy]

I read your other thread. This is just my opinion, but I would try to separate what this woman did from me. Not think of it as something she did TO ME, but rather a reflection of her issues. Her decisions. Her problems. Her actions are a reflection of her and her alone.

 

Yes, she betrayed your trust. Yes, she may have hurt your pride. However, you were doing the honorable thing. Loving her, trusting her, taking care of her kids ... sounds like a stand-up guy to me.

 

Nobody likes to be made a fool of. However, you have to realize that we're all individuals. Some of us are rotten individuals. Let her have ownership of that rottenness. Concentrate on being a quality person yourself. And ... remember ... when you meet another woman that she's an individual too. Allow her the opportunity to be herself with you without this other woman's rottenness hanging over your heads.

[PhillyConnection23]

I read your other thread. This is just my opinion, but I would try to separate what this woman did from me. Not think of it as something she did TO ME, but rather a reflection of her issues. Her decisions. Her problems. Her actions are a reflection of her and her alone.

 

Yes, she betrayed your trust. Yes, she may have hurt your pride. However, you were doing the honorable thing. Loving her, trusting her, taking care of her kids ... sounds like a stand-up guy to me.

 

Nobody likes to be made a fool of. However, you have to realize that we're all individuals. Some of us are rotten individuals. Let her have ownership of that rottenness. Concentrate on being a quality person yourself. And ... remember ... when you meet another woman that she's an individual too. Allow her the opportunity to be herself with you without this other woman's rottenness hanging over your heads.

 

This man.

 

I've been cheated on in the past, it sucks. But something like you described? No, this woman has problems and needs help. This wasn't your fault.

[Justaguy30]

Thank you for the kinds words, It would be interesting to share some stories with someone else. I do realize that what she did to me had little to do with me. That is who she is and our sexual relationship had little to do with it. She liked sleeping with me but I was always on her about cheating and it made her hate me. I think her sexual behaviors were more about the rush. Sleeping with new people constantly was a rush, doing it where she could get caught and the consequences of her actions could result in terrible results was probably a huge rush and resulted in very rewarding orgasms. What I now realize is that her brain probably offered very little in the way of endorphins so sex was one of the only ways she could feel happy. After having really good sex she was more relaxed than I ever saw her and just seemed sort of at peace with the world. She wasn't just having sex for fun she was doing it to feel okay.

[mangetout]

Gosh she has a serious problem. I wouldn't carry on with this relationship unless she seeks therapy to sort out her head.

 

 

And please get checked out if she slept with so many men!

[Friskyone4u]

She has a big time problem that you are not going to fix. Other than wanting to get laid, why would you want any part of this? Quite frankly if you want to be in a relationship with her, I would get se IC myself to see what you are thinking?

You"ll constantly have your emotional well being and health put at risk. She seems to not want to find out why and stop it or modify it so just move on.

[Sugarkane]

She must have serious sex addiction? Where does she find the time?

[No Limit]

I believe the chance of meeting a person like her is incredibly low. Nobody in their right mind spends their entire life being the world's mattress.

Then again, especially since you've mentioned the cutting, she's far from being normal. She's self-destructive and I just hope her kids won't catch up on her behavior; imagine them going for a few tests and finding out each of them has a different father...

 

Geez, I wonder how her husband put up with it. He must have been scarred for life, probably became the "pfft marriage is a relic of the past" type of guy.

On the other hand, he'll be quite surprised to see what a real woman can be like.

[Justaguy30]

Her entire world revolves around men wanting her, she has to feel needed because her confidence is so low. She chooses to do these things over spending time with her kids or even acknowledging her partner and the person she loves and she does love them but everything she loves comes second to her getting laid. She is the most self centered selfish person I have ever met and I hate her. Yet I love her more than anyone. It is very confusing. We last spoke for the first time in a few months a few days ago and she told me how much it would crush her if she saw me and I didn't acknowledge her at a old hangout that we always used to see each other at. Yet she treats me like I don't exist and never stops to think about how I might feel. She pretty much ignored me for 5 months while we were together and that has not changed yet she wants me to care for her. She is out of her mind. Next time she tries to call me or talk to me or I see her. She doesn't exist, we shall see how she feels about it. She said if I acted like I didn't know her she might kill herself. Time will tell

[somedude81]

She's trying to manipulate you.

 

You already know what you should do.

[JDPT]

If you haven't already, walk the other way, and walk fast.

[Justaguy30]

She is a master manipulator that is for sure. She told me that every conversation she has with someone she is always afraid she is going to be accused of something because I accused her of cheating a lot but then again she cheated pretty much constantly. I feel bad but hope in some way that makes her think twice about what she is doing. If that question is always in her mind maybe eventually she will just stop doing it. I think I drove her crazy, I mean she was already crazy but it seems like she is way off the cliff these days. Its ****ed up because i miss her so much everyday and I will probably always think about her off and on but its just not possible to be with her. She asked me if I thought we would ever be together again and I was nice and said maybe but how the **** could I ever trust someone like that? Why would I want to be with someone that just sport f+cks everyone?

[TigerLilly78]

She is a master manipulator that is for sure. She told me that every conversation she has with someone she is always afraid she is going to be accused of something because I accused her of cheating a lot but then again she cheated pretty much constantly. I feel bad but hope in some way that makes her think twice about what she is doing. If that question is always in her mind maybe eventually she will just stop doing it. I think I drove her crazy, I mean she was already crazy but it seems like she is way off the cliff these days. Its ****ed up because i miss her so much everyday and I will probably always think about her off and on but its just not possible to be with her. She asked me if I thought we would ever be together again and I was nice and said maybe but how the **** could I ever trust someone like that? Why would I want to be with someone that just sport f+cks everyone?

 

 

Why the hell would you even consider getting back together with something like that? granted shes got some deep issues and that's very sad it always hurts when the ones we love are not well, But! she has to want to change herself you cant do it for her. And she will not change as long as she knows your right there willing to take the abuse. Case that's what this is mental abuse on you! you would serve her better by letting go and letting her hit rock bottom cause at least then she can ether choose to destroy herself or come back to reality but she cant do that long as your enabling her..

[Justaguy30]

She hit rock bottom which is why she called me the other night but she has been riding bottom for 2 years. I actually called her and told her she needs to either A. let me help her get help as a friend or B. she will never speak to me again. Its her choice. We have been friends for 13 years and this is the last straw. Either she goes along with therapy and meds or ill never talk to her again and either way we will sure as **** never be in a relationship again.

[todreaminblue]

Thank you for the kinds words, It would be interesting to share some stories with someone else. I do realize that what she did to me had little to do with me. That is who she is and our sexual relationship had little to do with it. She liked sleeping with me but I was always on her about cheating and it made her hate me. I think her sexual behaviors were more about the rush. Sleeping with new people constantly was a rush, doing it where she could get caught and the consequences of her actions could result in terrible results was probably a huge rush and resulted in very rewarding orgasms. What I now realize is that her brain probably offered very little in the way of endorphins so sex was one of the only ways she could feel happy. After having really good sex she was more relaxed than I ever saw her and just seemed sort of at peace with the world. She wasn't just having sex for fun she was doing it to feel okay.

 

 

 

what i have found with cheating partners in relationships, was the adrenaline rush and challenge of getting someone in the sack was an issue......had a girl cry for doing it to me when she didnt know we were together, then by chance she met me.....she broke down and told me when i was saying how wonderful he was with me and all my issues how he respected me and all the little things he did for me how tough it was for him to go out with me and the rough times we had survived.......and she just started crying...because my face lights up when i am talking about people i love...............when he came home from work she was sitting with me having coffee......he wasnt happy

 

 

 

it is a rush it is adrenaline and it doesnt matter if you are good person they will still cheat.....doesnt matter if you have mad sex often any time any place they want it they will still cheat....and that fact ....hardly ever changes.....deb

[bluenote]

My own friend, I feel with you.

 

My lady cheat on me with one guy for a while, I can't articulate the feelings it gave me, such a mix. I went from feeling insuficient, inadequate and so unloved, yealous etc.

 

I brought it up every time we had a small fall out with his name, like-the time you were sleeping with Mike. But now old friend you won't remember all the guy's names so you have to sit there with a small note book, when you want to bring up the issue like-the time you slept with Fred, Alfred, Antoine, George, Hicks, Benton, Wilfred, Xavier, Axel, Brutus, Seth, your sisters' husband Denny, Leon, Kazari, Jurgen the German exchange student guy, Hafeni, Hendrik, Alfred Higgins, Elton, Creg, Greg, the Jones brothers Desmondt, Emile and Engelhardt, Deon, Stacy, Benedict the guy known for his big d..., Anderson, Bony, Samual, Candy the player, Brendan, Robert, Patric, Peter, Kalou, Lulu, Rolf, Karl, Harold the mechanic, Austin, James, Franco, Mentos, Alfred, the twins Dustin and Suley, Martin, Carlos, Victor, Ino, Terance and so on. I would have been disgusted at Terance already its just plain ridiculous no matter how much you love the person. Its so unfair you dont even know to which guy you have to feel inferior because he knock your woman. Its not even worth your effort, you can't seriously be that inadequate, its not about you, she has an above everage craving for sex, which one would normaly expect from a man.

 

Should be a chemical balance thing in her physiological and brain makeup, it will be hard but get out of her life totaly, if it was one guy you could consider pushing aside and continue with her but with this small neighbourhood it is just ............yah

[Justaguy30]

Thank you for putting it that way, it did make me feel inadequate and a bunch of other things. It actually made me hurt reading that but its the truth and you are right she will not change. She will always cheat on people because its a rush and sleeping with that amount of people is just insane. I am guessing in her life she has probably slept with a few hundred men. Since we broke up maybe another 60 guys who knows. I just so wish she could be the person she wants to be not this gross sexual toy.

[Justaguy30]

Today is really tough for me because I know that I am the only person that truly knows her problems and probably the only person in her life that would care to help her. I really truly want to help her get help but I am still in love with her to the point that I miss her everyday. She is my best friend and I believe soul mate but how could she be my soul mate if she does things like that. She is so selfish and no one will ever change that. One part of me wants her back so badly but I can't be with her because she would just tear me apart again. The other part of me just wants to be her friend and to help her get better but she has to want that. I don't know why I always feel a sense of urgency, perhaps its because I know with her kids at their fathers she is just going to go party/ F?CK crazy without the kids around. She will be able to do what ever she wants without responsibility and she has never had that in her life. I fear that she will kill herself doing drugs or just get so low she takes her own life. I really just need to let go of all feelings and not care about anything that happens to her because just worrying alone is killing me. She only cares about me when she feels bad for the horrible things she did.

[bluenote]

I want to ask if the lady sees it as a problem for her and if she needs help or wants you to help her. I know and I feel with you your anguish, but look at your situation. She could get help maybe but will you be able to live with her and with the fact that she has been friendly with so many men.

 

Its understandable you love the lady but please, this is a very unhealthy thing for you. If she loved you back she would have shared her problem with you and asked for your help to get to a solution, she would have made some effort to show you that she is genuine atleast reduce the amount of men she needs to chop to feel high, but she just keeps filling her bag, what does that mean, she is ok the way she is. Its only you that has the problem and if you dont stop this now yourself, it can ruin you, your self perception everything, there is only so much you can do. Try to train your mind and learn that although you love her you must leave and live your life without her.

[Justaguy30]

You are absolutely right Bluenote. Its just really hard when you love someone so much. It has already ruined a big part of me and she knows that. I just have such a hard time totally walking away.

[Justaguy30]

Bluenote, I think she is starting to view it as a problem because she always refers to her actions with being low and how low she is. She knows its ripping her apart but I don't think she knows what else to do. I have also realized that if I am going to be her friend I can't bring that stuff up because it just pushes her further away. I just need to stop caring but I can't.