Gaeta Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I work in the corporate section of downtown so if I go out for lunch in a close by food-court there are a lot of nice gentlemen. I should have located that spot before ! Anyway, this really nice gentleman exchanged a few words with me and we exchanged business cards. He emailed me, talked about himself a little. I emailed him back, talked about myself a little. Sometimes he doesn't wait for my reply and he emails again. We've been doing that since Monday! This morning I woke up to another long email and I said to myself 'that's it!!', he needs help! I emailed back only this: So Allan, what does it take for you to invite a girl out? My friend says I will scare him away. I think it's enough exchange over the net and he needed a push. 1
Candy_Pants Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 If being direct scares him away, maybe he's not a suitable match anyway . 10
carhill Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I emailed back only this: So Allan, what does it take for you to invite a girl out? My friend says I will scare him away. I think it's enough exchange over the net and he needed a push. Classic 30's/40's style. A man with a vintage romantic style will enjoy this type of flirtation. Imagine Lauren Bacall saying this to a guy. Perhaps that's one key aspect of the difference. Back then, such things were done in person. Never underestimate the value of in-person. If it scares him off, that's OK! 1
clia Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 It's only been two days of e-mailing? I could see saying what you said if you'd been e-mailing for a week or two, but, I think you might've jumped the gun. It may scare him off because he may have wanted to take the lead. You didn't really give him much time to do that. But if it does scare him off, you two may have not been compatible anyway, so it's a wash.
GorillaTheater Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I emailed back only this: So Allan, what does it take for you to invite a girl out? If I was a single guy, I'd be delighted. And kicking myself for waiting so long. If I was an insecure single guy, yeah, I might be scared off. You're sure he's single, right? 3
mammasita Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I'm like you OP....very direct. I approach men in bars, well I used to. I've written notes and my number on receipts, been very forward and flirtatious with my business card.....and been rejected often LOL. It does tend to be offputting to some, but whatever.....If he doesn't like it - he's not for you. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 If that scares him away you are better off. I prefer to date men who are anatomically correct & who have a spine. 3
Keenly Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 That won't scare him away. His auto response is going to be " a message like that "
Author Gaeta Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 It's only been two days of e-mailing? I could see saying what you said if you'd been e-mailing for a week or two, but, I think you might've jumped the gun. It may scare him off because he may have wanted to take the lead. You didn't really give him much time to do that. But if it does scare him off, you two may have not been compatible anyway, so it's a wash. I would NEVER email someone for 2 weeks lol, That is way too long. We are both working downtown, our offices are at 10 minute walk. He should have offered lunch already.
Author Gaeta Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 If I was a single guy, I'd be delighted. And kicking myself for waiting so long. If I was an insecure single guy, yeah, I might be scared off. You're sure he's single, right? Oups!! I am not sure, no way to know yet. I googled his name and nothing, no FB either. He emails after 10 pm.
littleplanet Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I work in the corporate section of downtown so if I go out for lunch in a close by food-court there are a lot of nice gentlemen. I should have located that spot before ! Anyway, this really nice gentleman exchanged a few words with me and we exchanged business cards. He emailed me, talked about himself a little. I emailed him back, talked about myself a little. Sometimes he doesn't wait for my reply and he emails again. We've been doing that since Monday! This morning I woke up to another long email and I said to myself 'that's it!!', he needs help! I emailed back only this: So Allan, what does it take for you to invite a girl out? My friend says I will scare him away. I think it's enough exchange over the net and he needed a push. Well OP, That last line made me smile. I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall when he read it. Cut to the chase. He's on the spot. email is for dilly dally (which can be loads of fun in all its proper perspective) but meanwhile back at the ranch.............................. You just told him that it's time for a little more conversation over wine in a converstional setting. If he's interested - of course he'll bite! Your little nudge will either knock him off his rocker......... or set the roly poly in interesting motion. Personally, I think it was kind of a cute nudge, myself. (but that's just me.) 3
Candy_Pants Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 He should have offered lunch already. Don't play that game. Bad idea.
mammasita Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 OP, Why don't you offer to meet him at the food court?
Author Gaeta Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 OP, Why don't you offer to meet him at the food court? I will wait for him to get back to me first. I think I have done enough already lol. If he asks me what I have in mind I will offer lunch.
HappyLove Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Wow that was fast meeting this guy! Good for you OP! Ok, I think your nudge was fine BUT you only met Monday! You gotta put it in perspective I think. I insist that OLDing & IRL dating are very different. This is not a guy who's bantered too much online & took too long to ask you out. IRL dating is much slower and I think you may need to adjust your speed. But as far as pushing him away only a wimp would be offended at pretty much getting the green light to ask a lady out! Just my .02!
DArtagnan2 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 (edited) If I was in the same office building or even 20 minutes away from where they work, I would have suggested meeting for lunch, especially since you and he met there at lunch one day. Why not do it again? That I agree with. if the situation was different and distance was a bit farther, then a few days up to a week of messaging isn't bad to get to know someone a little before you make the gesture to venture out on a "date". Edited June 19, 2014 by DArtagnan2 1
oberkeat Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 (edited) I work in the corporate section of downtown so if I go out for lunch in a close by food-court there are a lot of nice gentlemen. I should have located that spot before ! Anyway, this really nice gentleman exchanged a few words with me and we exchanged business cards. He emailed me, talked about himself a little. I emailed him back, talked about myself a little. Sometimes he doesn't wait for my reply and he emails again. We've been doing that since Monday! This morning I woke up to another long email and I said to myself 'that's it!!', he needs help! I emailed back only this: So Allan, what does it take for you to invite a girl out? My friend says I will scare him away. I think it's enough exchange over the net and he needed a push. Your friend is full of it. Speaking as a guy, the only way what you said would 'scare me away' would be if I wasn't interested in the first place. If he isn't interested, forget him. Give yourself credit for being direct. I would love for a gal to be this up front with me. Edited June 19, 2014 by oberkeat
SJC2008 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Why are you putting yourself back on the market so soon?
Author Gaeta Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 (edited) Why are you putting yourself back on the market so soon? I am doing great, I was not in love with last man. This food-court man is really to my liking so why not. Edited June 19, 2014 by Gaeta 1
Elle1975 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I am doing great, I was not in love with last man. This food-court man is really to my liking so why not. I agree. Since you feel great, put yourself out there!
Author Gaeta Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 Soooooo he has not gotten back to me...hmmm!
CarrieT Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I'm wondering if your message to him wasn't a little passive/aggressive... You threw the ball into his court in a way of EXPECTING him to make the advances and telling him as such, but why couldn't you have simply asked him to lunch? You were having great banter via emails; why not have just said something like, "hey, this is fun - care to meet me for lunch?" By your statement, you *did* someone emasculate him and berate him for behavior that you were expecting. And without knowing what was going on his his mind, you might have actually scared him away. 3
Els Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 I was going to say at first that it sounds fine to me... but you don't even know if he's single??? Yeah... should have found that out first.... 2
Author Gaeta Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 I had put a smile at the end of my sentence to indicate I was being flirty and teasing. Maybe he was not single. I was starting to think it was unusual that he only emailed at night after 10 pm. I was kind of excited that finally a man a little older than me was showing interest. I always get approached by young horny dogs. I assure I do nothing to attract those, I dress and act my age.
Emilia Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 It's just another person you have briefly interacted with so should write it off as such, I think. I don't ask guys out for this reason to be honest. I think if they really want to, they will. If they don't there is no point in wondering.
Recommended Posts