pepsimax Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Hi, * I wrote to this man (41yrs old) how I feel and he hasn't responded and it has been over 24 hours and I saw he was online. I met him over a month ago and we have been out 4 times. He is going through stuff in his life and he can be in contact and then disappear for a few days or a week or so and then reappear. He usually phones. I told him kind of that it is irritating that he disappears suddenly and doesn't return calls or messages. The other day he called after not returning my call for 3 days or messages. I told him I just got home. He asked where I was. I didn't reply. He asked again. I told him out with a girl friend. He said in other words a date. I said no I went to gym and met a friend. He said a date. I said no…maybe you think that coz you are always out on dates. He said he is too busy with his stuff and he doesn't go out on dates…yea right!!! It's driving me crazy not knowing what he wants coz while he is kind of in touch we don't meet..it's not like he calls me for a booty call..we haven't had sex..he just calls to keep in touch. I am so confused and it's not good for me. I need to know what his agenda is. Anyway, I am not good with words and get tongue tied esp. with a guy* I like so I decided to send him a message. I wrote something like 'Hi handsome..i am writing coz over the phone it's harder for me to say it. I am not sure what you are looking for and it's confusing me. You are in touch and then disappear for days without returning calls or messages. We don't meet and it's not exactly like you shut yourself off and don't leave the house. When we speak you remember you have something better to do and then suddenly poof you disappear like Houdini* J and it's confusing me. It's obvious that I am writing this coz I am interested and I would like to get to know you better…so ? J' Haven't heard from him since. I am upset and maybe I was came off a bit too strong although my friend disagrees and thinks what I wrote is good. On the one hand I told him how I feel and that I don't like his games..my friend thinks if that scared him off then good riddance.* What do you think?
TXGuy Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I'm wondering why you would want to keep seeing this guy. You've dated a few times, but have not had sex. You both think the other is a liar (and kind of cheater). You don't communicate well with each other and are clearly incompatible. Why are you trying to force this round peg into a square hole?
Author pepsimax Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 I don't think he's a liar in general...so far everything he told me is true... About cheating...we aren't in any kind of relationship so we are both free to do what we want... I have a hard time dating if I like someone...that's part of the reason I wrote to him....I guess no response says it all. Don't know why he asked where I went and suspected it was a date....
Quiet Storm Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I would say this is a case of "he's just not into you". I would let him go. Who wants to feel like someone's entertainment when they have nothing better to do? Many guys have lots of "online friends". It provides a good ego boost for them. They get to feel desired without putting out much effort at all. They also have numerous "back ups" when their #1 target rejects or dumps them. Don't sign up to be some loser's ego stroke. He jokingly asked if it was a "date" to size up the competition. Please don't mistake this jealously for interest. Men are competitive... it's not about you. It's like a kid who suddenly wants the toy that the new kid likes, when they genuinely lost interest in it long ago. It's not about the toy- it's only interesting now because someone else wanted to play with it. The point is that you want someone to like you for you- your qualities, your character, all the things that intrinsically make you, you. I'm sorry you are feeling upset, but you haven't lost anything. This guy is nothing special, so please don't feel as if you scared him off. I don't think he was there to begin with. My guess is he is corresponding with multiple women. His agenda is to get as many bites as possible on the lines he is casting out. He likely has many personal issues and trust me, you do not want to get involved with a man like this. You dodged a bullet, and the disappointment will pass.
Targetlock Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Sounds a bit flaky to me and probably not worth the trouble.
hotpotato Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 If he were interested in you romantically, he would make time for you. You would never have to ask whats going on.
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