Lou84 Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Hi all, Hope you can shed some light on this please. Ok so here goes. I was in same sex relationship with a girl, it lasted 6 weeks. As soon as we got chatting/meeting up we both relaised that we had a strong connection and feelings started to grow quite quickly. We both said we never felt like this before so soon and also both had the attraction. The only thing was this girl had 3 serious relationships with guys in the past, but she said she always knew that she was gay. Anyway as the weeks went on the feelings grow more, and she actually came out to her friends and family, as she said no one makes her happy as much as I do. I am already out to everyone. Before she came out she was a little hot/cold as she didn't like lying to people. After she came out the feeling was fantastic I was so happy, but then she went to being cold again (I think this is her personailty being hot/cold) as she has a very stresseful job and alot going on in her life at the moment. I kinda messed it up as I said I can not deal with you being cold, so if thats how your going to be then we best call it a day. and she did it is now over. This was a week ago. I made even further mistakes by sending a card to her work to say sorry, and messaging her on the dating website we met on (as I delted her number so I didn't make the mistake of harrassing her) she called me on Sunday to say, stop contacting me your making me ill, your not the only one who is upset and hurt by this, but we are not right for each other, I scare her, it was unproffesional contacting her at work by sending the card, she will not change my mind, and now she has blocked my number. I have not made any contact since, but we both admitted we had strong feelings for each other when we were in a relationship and how happy we wee she even came out for me, do you think she be back or that is it now?
David87 Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 It's over my friend. She was happy but she isn't anymore, you'll have to accept that and move on. Start NC. 1
Author Lou84 Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 You don't think she will come back, if so why?
David87 Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Your words not mine : She said :stop contacting me your making me ill and now she has blocked my number A woman who wants to be with you doesn't say that you make her ill....... 3
Author Lou84 Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 I just wondered applying NC which I have started will make a difference?
martaldn Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 maybe .. who knows. but NC is not for making her coming back it is for you to heal. U should try to move on from this and live your life without her. 2
David87 Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I just wondered applying NC which I have started will make a difference? NC will make her miss you and you will start to heal.
Author Lou84 Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 Will her missing me, make her get in touch? I know it was only a 6 week relationship....
David87 Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Will her missing me, make her get in touch? I know it was only a 6 week relationship.... Of course she will get in touch but that doesnt mean she wants to get back together. 1
Author Lou84 Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 Why would she get in touch, when she has already been in touch Sunday?
martaldn Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 you dont have to think this way now. you have to try to move on from this and live your life without her. nobody knows what will happen in the future but you cant live you life hoping she will get in touch with you again because you are going to miss any other chance of happiness life will bring U in front of your eyes. 6 weeks relationship is nothing but i understand it still hurt but you will be half way into your healing process if you start to think about you and avoid any contact with her. good luck
Author Lou84 Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 This is true, I just wanted to see what people's thoughts were with regards to this to getting back, as I made her feel things she hasn't felt for a long time, would you just throw that away?
oracle Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 Why would you wanna get back with someone like that? She is hot and cold and all over the place. Traits like that don't improve with time. Cut your losses now, DO NOT invest anymore time. Trust me, I spent 16yrs with someone like that. This is true, I just wanted to see what people's thoughts were with regards to this to getting back, as I made her feel things she hasn't felt for a long time, would you just throw that away? 1
orangetree Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 None of us can tell you if she will come back or not. But honestly, why do you even want to be with a girl who seems to change her mind just in days/weeks and goes from hot to cold? That isn't healthy for a relationship and that won't make you happy in the future. You told her that you cannot handle her constantly changing moods and that's perfectly fine. You two were in a relationship and she has to be able to accept criticism and work on the communication with you and she clearly didn't want to. Instead she let you down just weeks after you started dating. My advice- Let her go. IMO she doesn't seem to be worth all the drama and pain. Find someone who's emotionally more stable and WANTS to be with you. Maybe she will come back but I do hope you will have moved on.
Author Lou84 Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 Thank you all for your kind replies, I think the reason she was hot/cold as coming out and being with a girl is all new to her, and I am very understanding about this. I do want her back and to try and give it another go, even if I wanted to make contact I can;t as she has blocked me on all forms of communcation, to be honest I have done nothing bad for her to run, do you guys think she make contact again and if so why?
martaldn Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 but if she doesnt want to give it another go there is not much you can do... she will probably unblock you at some point but still you sholdnt wait for her to do that.. you should try to move on.. 1
David87 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 why do you think she will unblock me? She will do it after enough time has passed after the BU and you get over her or atleast that is what she will think. 1
Author Lou84 Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 But what will make her unblock me, why would she if she has no interest
David87 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 But what will make her unblock me, why would she if she has no interest My ex unblocked me a week ago but she didn't talk to me, that means shes over me and she doesnt care anymore if I can see what she does or not. She's done ....that's the pattern.
Author Lou84 Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 but if you didn't care anymore you wouldnt unblock someone you would keep them blocked.
David87 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 but if you didn't care anymore you wouldnt unblock someone you would keep them blocked. Keeping someone on block means that she still cares, and your actions affect her in some way. 1
Author Lou84 Posted June 19, 2014 Author Posted June 19, 2014 But if you cared about someone why not try and sort things out
David87 Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 But if you cared about someone why not try and sort things out The thing you need to understand is that ex es don't care anymore they moved on way before the dumpees did, but they are human to and they have regrets sometimes but that doesnt mean they want you back 2
Haydn Posted June 19, 2014 Posted June 19, 2014 OP these guys are right. My ex is blocked and it will stay that way. I have no interest in what she is doing. But this girl has made it very clear to you. Put NC in to practice. And yes it is not for you to win her back it is for you to move on. If she wanted you back then all the moves have to be hers and not yours. Good luck. 3
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