Author iPhone Posted June 18, 2014 Author Posted June 18, 2014 Thank you all. I know that email was over the top. I mean, I didn't realize it at the time obviously lol... See, normally I am the type who does exactly what you all were saying I should have done. This one caught me off guard though, because of how we connected. Oh well. She said she understands and just needs some time. So is contacting her really the best thing to do? Or should I wait for her, THEN ask her out again?
ThorntonMelon Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 You know what, the email was insane, but if I were you I'd just own it. See, normally I am the type who does exactly what you all were saying I should have done. This one caught me off guard though, because of how we connected.You're a thoughtful guy, it's not a bad thing. Honestly, most men would be annoyed by her drama after a consensual encounter. You're falling all over herself to see it from her point of view. There's something admirable about that, and there's nothing wrong with being thoughtful, caring, and emotional. Actually, the biggest issue in your email if we're being blunt isn't the "I'm sorry" stuff, it's the fact that you've decided in probably too short a period of time that she has all these amazing qualities. You're doing the interview process. She's interviewing for the job of being your partner. And while she's not here to give her point of view, to me, she's failing the job interview as it relates to making you feel comfortable with her. That said, I think everyone reading this knows she doesn't really care because she's probably not going to go out with you again. And you know what? You're lucking out in the bargain, because any girl worth dating doesn't flake out on you. So is contacting her really the best thing to do? Or should I wait for her, THEN ask her out again? Contacting her is not the right play here - that caveman/fireman stuff doesn't ring true to me at all - you said your piece, she knows how to operate a phone, if she wants you, she'll let you know. You've made your intentions quite clear. Anyways, good luck.
Mrin Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 So i would have reacted something close to what you did. There is a certain (probably misguided) nobility in taking the "blame" in that situation. I don't pretend to understand how women's minds work in such situations but my gut says you have to let her be and "process" this. You've given her all the pieces to assemble and come to the right conclusion. She just has to do it on her own. Contacting her would just be handing her more pieces and in some ways, forcing her to start the processing over. But then again, I really don't understand how women work through this stuff but my Neanderthal brain/prior experience tells me that's the right move.
BlueIris Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Ain’t it great, OP? If only there were clear answers, rules to guide that are universally applicable to every person and every situation, so we could all do it right every time…. Man, it would be great. But there aren’t, so we fuddle around and try to be good and do good. I hope your girl sees your good will and best intentions. It may be the most important thing we hope for or ask of another person.
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