smaciii Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Hi everyone! Hope you can bear with me on this story...But would really appreciate some advice! Thanks! So me and this girl had been texting everyday for a little over a month. Why were we texting for so long and not meeting up you may ask?...it's because I was in another city for a month. But anyways, this texting goes on for a month with her initiating most of them. There was some definite flirting going on in these texts. We agreed to meet up and go to the zoo when I got back. Finally, zoo day comes. I pick her up and everything seems to have gone very well. We talked for hours, everything seemed natural, and she seemed to have had a genuinely good time. I didn't make much physical contact throughout the date...I tend to take these things kinda slowly, but there was some teasing and flirting going on. At the end of the date, we agree to meet up again and she seemed very enthusiastic about it. I get home and text her that I'm home and had a very good time. And starting from this point, she seems to have been a little less enthusiastic about replying my texts. I send her pics from the zoo and she seemed appreciative of that. But the next morning, I was excited to get a message from her like I always do. But no texts! I didn't want to come across as clingy or needy, so I wait till the evening to ask her how she's doing. I make a little small talk with her and when I ask what she's been up to, she doesn't reply! She ignored me! D: It's been three days now and I have yet to hear from her. So a few questions... It strikes me as a bit odd that we would text all day, everyday for months and she finally just stops now. Girls, what would cause you to act in such a way? What would cause this sort of behaviour? Perhaps she is not interested in me anymore and this is her way of nicely rejecting me? Should I take the hint and move on? But at the same time, I also kind of want to text her and ask for an explanation for this (but again, I don't want to come across as needy or clingy). Is it possible that she is testing me to see how into her I really am by ignoring me and seeing if I'll text her? Do girls like pulling these kind of tricks? lol Perhaps, I should just text her and tell her how I feel about her. Cause I really like this girl and if there's any chance that she might still be interested, I don't want to give up! I've been very tormented and confused as to how to deal with this for the past few days, so any help is much appreciated! Thanks so much!
jbelle6 Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 I think that no matter how much you text, you just don't know if there is chemistry until you meet. You sort of have to ignore everything before the first date. Maybe she just wasn't feeling you two were a match. This is why it's a good idea to not invest too much into anything before the physical meet, though I know you were away and could not help it, maybe keep the amount of texts very light beforehand next time. 3
fred123 Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 I think that no matter how much you text, you just don't know if there is chemistry until you meet. You sort of have to ignore everything before the first date. Maybe she just wasn't feeling you two were a match. This is why it's a good idea to not invest too much into anything before the physical meet, though I know you were away and could not help it, maybe keep the amount of texts very light beforehand next time. fantastic advice
solway86 Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Maybe she's keeping her options open and isn't sure whether she wants to be in a committed relationship. Perhaps text here, but in a friendly way, asking her if she still wants to see you, but without being too forward etc. or something like that. Not sure if this helps, but it's what I'd do. 1
MidwestUSA Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Maybe she's keeping her options open and isn't sure whether she wants to be in a committed relationship. Perhaps text here, but in a friendly way, asking her if she still wants to see you, but without being too forward etc. or something like that. Not sure if this helps, but it's what I'd do. No, he's already texted plenty. He'll just come across as pathetic. She's clearly not interested, and probably couldn't offer much of an explanation if he asked for one. It happens. 1
hasaquestion Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Why do you think the first date went well if she stopped contacting you:laugh: 1
Dallers Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Why do you think the first date went well if she stopped contacting you:laugh: This but a little less harsh and no laughing smiley. YOU might have thought it went well but she didn't. It happens with chemistry and sadly there is no easy way to take it. After a while your skin will be tougher from rejection and look after number 1 because you might have just dodged a bullet. Plenty more to come. Move straight onto the next one and never chase her. Leave her wandering if she did the right thing, sometimes you hear from them later on and laugh when you ignore them. It happens bro 1
BlueIris Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 In my opinion, texting sucks and is chicken****. Yep. If you had a good date, don’t you want to talk to her? I’m disappointed if a guy’s idea of building emotional intimacy after a good date is texting. I read it as keeping me at arm's length, I call him once to talk, and if he keeps texting or is flat and distracted on the phone, I stop dating him.
KatZee Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 I made this mistake with OLD in the past. I would text with a guy a lot before we met. There would be "interest" and "connection" and then I'd meet them and be so completely let down. If I don't talk to a guy after the first date, it means I was underwhelmed, and not interested in taking it further. I will be pleasant on a date, I'm not going to be rude or an a.sshole, but the guy will never hear from me again. You may have thought it was a good date... she didn't. Now, I don't text a whole lot and I will meet a guy WELL before a month. Usually within a few days.
hopefullove Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 Hi. I have been that girl - chatting with the guy for a while before meeting him. And when I do. I still have a great date, because I'm a great date. I'm funny and charming and witty and just a fantastic person to be around, so what does that stop just because I'm not attracted to the other person, I can still have a good time with another person. So maybe that's why you thought you had a good date, because I've had guys tell me they've had an amazing time with me, we had amazing chemistry, etc etc.. but it was all one sided. When i started dating after being newly single, I was slow to kind of share my feelings and kinda of lingered and let it drag on that maybe, maybe we could see each other again... the more I dated, and the more people I had no connection with, the easier it was for me to say, sorry, I didn't feel the connection... and usually the other person can feel it, for example if there's an awkward hug, or whatever. ANYWAY along with someone who said the same thing - now I don't text a lot. If i'm going to meet you, then I'm going to meet you, I'm not going to blow a month texting you and building feelings so that I can meet up and feel nothing, or you can meet me and feel nothing. Save time.
soccerrprp Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 In my opinion, texting sucks and is chicken****. Yep. If you had a good date, don’t you want to talk to her? I’m disappointed if a guy’s idea of building emotional intimacy after a good date is texting. I read it as keeping me at arm's length, I call him once to talk, and if he keeps texting or is flat and distracted on the phone, I stop dating him. This, I believe, is a vastly minority view. This has nothing to do with texting. The girl didn't have the same level of interest as the OP after the date. Chemistry is often expressed by a singular view on LD, or course, so people tend to have a view that is singular. Don't assume that there was great chemistry or the date went very well until you have the next date.
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