david2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Hey Guys, Long story.. me (30) the ex (27) met about a year ago, things were great for about 4 months (totally in love) until i found out she lied about having kids. I felt betrayed and broke it off and we didnt talk for like 5 months.. I reached back out to her and we started going out again. Things were great for about 3 months until i had some issues with family members dying, work issues n got depressed n started drinking too much. a month before she broke it off she became distant, when she broke it off she said she had lost feelings for me and she needed space and time to get her **** together (2 kids, no job, bad car, etc). well like 3 weeks after breaking up she texted me saying she missed me and could see us together in the future but just needed time.. so i gave her space occasionally texting her telling her hi.. A month and a half later i reached out again and asked her if she wanted hangout.. she said i should move on. that we ended, that we are better friends and also if it was meant to be, the connection would have never left between us in the first place.. I unfortunately begged and pleaded and she got upset and stressed out... Well yesterday i saw online that she has been seeing some dude for the past 2 1/2 months.. basically a month after we broke up.. i saw where she says she loves him, etc. i made the mistake of begging and apologized. she basically doesnt want me in her life and has this new dude. I totally love her, i dont know if i made the mistake of not doing NC. She also is bipolar and gets depressed sometime, Is it too late? she seems happy now... what can i do? To add to the question. She said after pleaded with her that she doesnt know if we can be friends.. she always responds to my texts though, but with no feeling. Also when i pleaded she said we always only drank ( which is bs cause she always wanted me to bring drinks over and we couldnt go out much because of the kids). Also it seems that she already introduced the new bf to her family who visited and probably her kids after only 2 1/2 months.... Friends are telling me to move on, but i love this girl.. any suggestions? I am on 10 days NC btw
David87 Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 She gave you all the suggestions you needed, she wants space , she told you to move on and she has a new man....Sorry but it's game over Maintain NC , i know how hard it is .....
marcjb Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 "Fell out of love". This line is great... It's the honeymoon phase. It ends for everyone, and some people think it's supposed to last forever. It's what a lot of people think love is. This girl, like many people will continue vine swinging from relationship to relationship like I'm sure she has been already. 2
Author david2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 Hey guys, Thanks for the reply.. It's been 10 days NC so far. The last time we texted it was no arguing or anything..My plan is to give it two months and see where things stand.. Just work on bettering myself. Just sucks cause i see her posting pics on fb of them kissing and talking about how she's finally happy. This guy seems so weird to with the stuff he posts,, guess he's an anarchist lol totally not like me. At the end there was no communication on either side but i have changed for the better and i really do love her.. Couple questions if you don't mind.. Her being with this guy after one month of us breaking up, is that a rebound? (We only went out four months) Also, i really would love to get together with her in the future..Any tips? I was just going to move on from the past relationship, improve myself and show her somehow but live life and see what comes.. 1
Zahara Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Wake up. It's over. It's done. When a woman tells you she has lost feelings, she has lost feelings. It's not going to re-emerge, certainly isn't when she's in lalaland with the new guy. You were together for 4 months. Chances are she lost feelings when the novelty wore off. It happens. Sometimes rebounds can turn into a long term relationship. Focus on NOW. Scheming on how you are going to reach out in the future is unrealistic. She may get married tomorrow and you may meet the most wonderful woman next month. Focus on your healing and your day to day.
Duude Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Block her on FB. You're only hurting yourself stalking her with the new man. Move on dude. She clearly has.
Author david2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 Thanks for the replies i know its a long shot but what we had is worth fighting for. I got her back once granted after i broke up with her... I really like this girl, i never felt this way about a woman before. Has anyone had an experience like mine and get your partner back?
Zahara Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Thanks for the replies i know its a long shot but what we had is worth fighting for. I got her back once granted after i broke up with her... I really like this girl, i never felt this way about a woman before. Has anyone had an experience like mine and get your partner back? YOU believe it is worth fighting for. Don't project your own image of what you had on someone else. If she felt that strongly about your relationship, she would not have lost feelings and she would not have gone off with another guy. That's indicative of how much she valued the relationship. You're caught in delusion because you are emotional. This was a 4 month relationship. You are probably idealizing and romanticizing it because you were in the thick of the honeymoon period before it ended. That is what you are holding onto. The fantasy of it. You fell while you were on a high and that is why you're unable to accept this. Even if 2 people got their partner back, there's going to be 20 that didn't get their partner back. It's an unrealistic question because 1) every situation is different 2) you're more likely the rule and not the exception. 2
deathandtaxes Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Thanks for the replies i know its a long shot but what we had is worth fighting for. I got her back once granted after i broke up with her... I really like this girl, i never felt this way about a woman before. Has anyone had an experience like mine and get your partner back? Why do you want her back? Ask yourself this. What do you miss? You don't miss her. You miss what she represented. Comfort. Somebody to be with. Stuff like that. You miss the idea. Save yourself the pain. Save yourself the headache and LET GO. It's not easy. You will not see anybody on here recommend getting back together. You know why? Because a lot of us have and have lived to tell the tale - it's just not worth it. You break up for a reason.
PegNosePete Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 what we had is worth fighting for Well, it's a shame she obviously doesn't feel the same way. You need to move on, dude. She's gone. Sorry.
marcjb Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Thanks for the replies i know its a long shot but what we had is worth fighting for. I got her back once granted after i broke up with her... I really like this girl, i never felt this way about a woman before. Has anyone had an experience like mine and get your partner back? After my ex fiancé told me she didn't feel the same way anymore, we took a break, got back together, she said that she wanted to make it work. I saw in her actions that she was not committed to me. She would not compromise on anything regarding her guy "friend" that she met after me. She met after we were together about a year and a 1/2. Our relationship lasted about 3 years. After our break we got back together for about 6 months. I couldn't take all of the red flags. The full story is in my past threads.
Author david2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 Why do you want her back? Ask yourself this. What do you miss? You don't miss her. You miss what she represented. Comfort. Somebody to be with. Stuff like that. You miss the idea. Hi Death, she just made me happy. I loved everything we did together, it just felt right. We were basically together 8 out of the last 13 months. I went to her house like a month after we broke up to give her kids my old xbox and i could tell she still had feelings for me. I just was distant and broke dates with her etc because i was depressed about stuff and i guess she just lost feelings. I am just going to give it some time, do me, goon dates and maybe hit her up in six months to see how shes doing? i got to let it go for now i know that and she knows where i am
David87 Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Well that's great, why don't you block her on fb then and unlock her after six months ? 1
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 What you had is not worth fighting for. She has kids. You don't want kids. She lied to you about her kids. Who lies about their own kids, btw? That's just wrong & says a lot of negative things about her character. Although I'm not a mom, if I was dating a man who was very down on kids, that would be a huge point against dating him. When things got rough in your life you climbed inside a bottle instead of turning to her for support. In a good relationship she would have been your rock. A big part of the reason you probably want her now is because somebody else does. Listen to your friends. They know you (& presumably have met her). If they are telling you to let her go, do it. 1
jbelle6 Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 What you had is not worth fighting for. She has kids. You don't want kids. She lied to you about her kids. Who lies about their own kids, btw? That's just wrong & says a lot of negative things about her character. Although I'm not a mom, if I was dating a man who was very down on kids, that would be a huge point against dating him. When things got rough in your life you climbed inside a bottle instead of turning to her for support. In a good relationship she would have been your rock. A big part of the reason you probably want her now is because somebody else does. Listen to your friends. They know you (& presumably have met her). If they are telling you to let her go, do it. Yup, she lied about something HUGE. Not sure what kind of woman would lie about her kids. It's one of the first things I am upfront about as I know it's not for everyone. Then she cheated. She's a dishonest person, who knows what else she would lie about to you?
Author david2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 Hi d0nnivain and jbelle6, I didnt mind that she had kids. I just felt betrayed that she had lied to me for four months. It took me some time to get over it and i would have never gone back if i had a issue with a woman with kids (wouldnt have been cool). When i tried to get her back a month and a half ago she said "you were never interested in the kids" but i asked about them all the time and I was just trying to take the relationship slow.. but yeah f it. From what i have seen, the new guy has already meet her family and the kiddos after only two months..jbelle.. she never cheated on me that i know.. And d0nnivain your right about climbing in the bottle, i wasnt that bad but i kind of pushed her away at the end.. i would not go to her house when i told her would, etc..
PersonaPersona Posted June 18, 2014 Posted June 18, 2014 "Fell out of love". This line is great... It's the honeymoon phase. It ends for everyone, and some people think it's supposed to last forever. It's what a lot of people think love is. This girl, like many people will continue vine swinging from relationship to relationship like I'm sure she has been already. This! ^ This phrase is probably the most annoying one to have to hear, especially when they say something along the lines of: "Something told me this wasn't going to work out" ??? What? Anyway, this post is one of my favorites.
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