Yahtn1045 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 I have been seeing this guy for about three months. I could tell the end was coming as I was starting to initiate all of our conversations, and anything intimate felt somewhat forced and not something that came naturally. So, we had plans last Saturday night ( had planned this a month ago ), and he sent me a text Saturday morning saying he had been thinking and while he loved spending time with me, he wasn't getting a romantic vibe, but wanted to stay friends. I enjoy spending time with him too, and had prepared myself for this moment, so agreed. He said we should still go out Saturday night since we had both been looking forward to seeing this play. I decided to go and afterward he said we should get dinner in a couple weeks and talk. Since then, I see that he has checked out my online profile and has contacted me several times by text just to chat. What in the world is this guy up to!???!
Smarty Pants Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 He told you. He doesn't feel the romantic vibe. At the same time, you continue to see him so he has no pressure and can dictate the relationship. If you want something casual, by all means continue. But I believe you're on this site for a reason. 1
Elle1975 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 I have been seeing this guy for about three months. I could tell the end was coming as I was starting to initiate all of our conversations, and anything intimate felt somewhat forced and not something that came naturally. So, we had plans last Saturday night ( had planned this a month ago ), and he sent me a text Saturday morning saying he had been thinking and while he loved spending time with me, he wasn't getting a romantic vibe, but wanted to stay friends. I enjoy spending time with him too, and had prepared myself for this moment, so agreed. He said we should still go out Saturday night since we had both been looking forward to seeing this play. I decided to go and afterward he said we should get dinner in a couple weeks and talk. Since then, I see that he has checked out my online profile and has contacted me several times by text just to chat. What in the world is this guy up to!???! Well, since you agreed to be friends, it might be that he now wants to be friends with benefit? Might also be that his ego is hurt since you didn't start whaling and played it cool.
SoThatHappened Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Man this is eerily similar to what I just went through, but with the sexes reversed. My girl and I were going on 7 months, she was over the moon. Then something happened... and the texts got a little less, the emails were fewer, and the physical side of things became less spontaneous and more "planned?", for lack of a better word right now. It happened 2 weeks before an event she bought tickets to months before. For those 2 weeks, I was feeling that maybe she was hormonal (she went crazy once a month, I know not all women are like that at all). I was trying to think of any excuse as to why it was different. Well, we went to the planned event, stayed in a hotel, slept together (which is all she could talk about that night), but something was off. I just knew it. Three days later she admits to texting/flirting with a co-worker and was mad at me for worrying why she hadn't contacted me. I let her go right then and there. From my own personal experience, I haven't left a girl (when I wanted out) for another girl, nor did I keep stringing anyone along making sure I had someone to fall back on. So, he may just be not feeling it with you (I don't know which is worse on your end. I've been on both :/ ) This may not be the case for you, but my ex did these exact same things while she was trying to see if something was more available on the side. I hope you can work it out, but I would be prepared for a broken heart. So prepare to walk out with class and dignity instead of "heat of the moment" things you may regret later. Or I could be completely wrong and he could be telling the truth. Good luck!
Author Yahtn1045 Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 Well, since you agreed to be friends, it might be that he now wants to be friends with benefit? Might also be that his ego is hurt since you didn't start whaling and played it cool. The odd thing is, he seems to be bringing me in closer now that he broke up with me. That Saturday night I met one of his friends I hadn't met before, when we talk he makes more sexual jokes and references than he ever did when we were together. Maybe he is just more relaxed now that the pressure of a relationship is gone.
Elle1975 Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 The odd thing is, he seems to be bringing me in closer now that he broke up with me. That Saturday night I met one of his friends I hadn't met before, when we talk he makes more sexual jokes and references than he ever did when we were together. Maybe he is just more relaxed now that the pressure of a relationship is gone. I wouldn't accept to do the fwb, but that's up to you.
flitzanu Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 i'd say he's up to exactly what he said, he doesn't want to be WITH you, and just wants to be friends. friends hang out together. if you can't be friends with him, you should put a stop to it. nothing that he is doing is about "the pressure of a relationship" and none of it is going to bring you back together to a relationship.
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 (edited) The odd thing is, he seems to be bringing me in closer now that he broke up with me. That Saturday night I met one of his friends I hadn't met before, when we talk he makes more sexual jokes and references than he ever did when we were together. Maybe he is just more relaxed now that the pressure of a relationship is gone. This is partially correct. He is feeling you out for a FWB situation, hence all of the sexual innuendo. He figures if you respond positively, then he doesn't have to date you, but can hopefully still nail you. And you can't complain, because technically you broke up already. However, if you respond negatively, then he's out without any investment or rejection. I've done this when I was younger Bruce Lee might call this 'the art of dating without dating'... Question is, what do you want? Edited June 17, 2014 by mtnbiker3000
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