patrickwillis Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 5 months ago me and my girlfriend split up. she had cheated on me and when i found out i lashed out at her. i moved out of our apartment and the next week i was over at her apartment getting some stuff when we talked. she apologized but i told her it was to late 3 days later she was at another guys house. i flipped out on her for some reaosn telling her she obviously has no feelings for me if shes already messing around.. instead of going nc i would always let her drive me past my breaking point. at one point though we went two weeks without talking when she texted me from a random number saying she missed me alot and really regretted how things ended. i didnt reply but 2 days after she sent that she was at a guys house and texted me saying "jeff ****s hard"" i flipped out telling her to leave me alone and i cant stand her we basically never talked after that now after not talking to her i regret some stuff i said.. we were both immature and i would love to apologize but i dont know if i should i just was childish calling her names and regretting meeting her and not caring what happened should i message her and just say "hey sorry for the things i said"?
OwMyEyeball Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Why in the world would you even want anything to do with her? Are you sure it's regret that's driving you towards contacting her? Or is it the soreness to the soul you feel from the breakup? I'm guessing the latter. Do yourself a favour and go full NC. Why would you apologize? She betrayed you then rubbed it in your face. Sure, she probably still cares and it's amazing how we are capable of most hurting the ones we love. But she's hurting you. She's meeting her needs at your expense. She's got some serious issues that she'll have to work out on her own, at her own pace in this life. Give yourself the opportunity to put your own affairs in order without relying on broken relationship to support you. Let cooler heads prevail. Delete and block her contact & social media. Remove all reminders, physical and digital. Clear your space of her and prepare for some grieving. Best wishes. 3
Author patrickwillis Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 i dont know if i have feelings to be honest.. i did date another girl but i ended it because we didnt mesh well i realized. yea she rubbed it in my face but i was also talking alot of crap about the guy texting her and all that...so i think it was her way of saying "screw you pat" i just kinda wanna be the bigger person and say sorry for the stuff i said
Author patrickwillis Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 looking back i wish i wouldnt have said that stuff
Author patrickwillis Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 But why do i feel so bad now that time has gone on?
Mr.Pine Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 ...she sent that she was at a guys house and texted me saying "jeff ****s hard" First off, your ex's grammar is pretty horrific. I think she meant to say Jeff's schlong's hard. You see, Jeff is a proper noun and should be capitalized. And since the schlong in question belongs to Jeff, "Jeff's" should be used. And we can contract "schlong is" with "schlong's". Just be aware that "schlong's" is not possessive...just Jeff's is. Besides the impromptu grammar lesson, drop the beeyotch and go NC. She just rubbed your face, figuratively speaking, with Jeff's schlong. There's no going back after that... 3
OK_computer Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Something very similar happened to me many years ago. I lashed out like crazy and told this girl to go die and I didn't give a damn what happened to her in this life. Looking back a few months later i started missing the good times with her etc. and almost made the mistake of contacting her. Couple weeks later I found out she was going out with 3 guys at once! =/ The lesson I learned was... There's no going back when you break up with a girl when she has done you the greatest insult of cheating on you. Maybe years down the line you can reconcile and be friends..but I doubt it. Once a rift forms...its basically impossible to go back. 1
Sugarkane Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 Wow sounds Like Jeffs found himself a super good catch...not!
Author patrickwillis Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 Wow sounds Like Jeffs found himself a super good catch...not! they actually arent together..hes with a different girl
Author patrickwillis Posted June 17, 2014 Author Posted June 17, 2014 i dont want to get back with her..i just want to apologize..i feel upset at myself for saying all that
Zing Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 i didnt reply but 2 days after she sent that she was at a guys house and texted me saying "jeff ****s hard"" Holy **** that is like sociopath level emotional abuse. This girl is ****ed in the head, run away. i dont want to get back with her..i just want to apologize..i feel upset at myself for saying all that Why would you want to apologize to her? Why would you ease her guilt? Serial cheater with some kind of sex/power issues clearly.
OwMyEyeball Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 i dont want to get back with her..i just want to apologize..i feel upset at myself for saying all that If you really feel that upset about it, pull out a pen and pad and write a good old fashioned letter that you can put into a mailbox. Then delete and block any contact you might have with her. Because if your reach out to contact her directly you're going to end up in this exact same cycle over and over and over again. She's stringing you along.
Zahara Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 (edited) i dont want to get back with her..i just want to apologize..i feel upset at myself for saying all that I hate when men act like doormats. It's so unattractive. This woman cheats on you, has the balls to text you that another man is hard for her and here you are -- oh, I need to apologize. Any sane person with emotions will go off the charts when presented with the fact that their partner has cheated and that their partner is talking about another guy's penis. You know what she will do when you apologize? She'll say to herself, "Man, I pissed on him and here he is apologizing!" And you would have just given her a huge ego boost, but most of all, you would have relieved her of her guilt and wrongdoing. You want to apologize because you want to be in her good books so she'll think what a nice guy you are and how she's missing out on a good dude. You want to apologize because you want validation from her. Please. It's highly unattractive when a man wants to kiss the feet of a woman who disrespected and humilated him. What you said was nothing compared to what she did. Check your motives for apologizing. If it's to portray the nice guy, chuck that thinking out the door. Edited June 17, 2014 by Zahara 1
jbelle6 Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 If a guy cheated on me and then sent me a text about how wet her kitty was, I don't think I'd be worried about apologizing for anything I may have said. Nothing you said could have been worse than that. I think you are going through the missing them stage and want to find an excuse to break contact. Don't.
Peacock_Tail Posted June 17, 2014 Posted June 17, 2014 As they said. Don't apologize. It would be good (I think) on one hand because relieving her guilt would make her feel ok and never intend to change so her life will be probably a mess, but let her find out by herself without wasting more of your precious time sending her anything.
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