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Was it me


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Posted

Hiya first post so please be nice :)

 

Met guy via OLD about two months ago was chatting for few weeks exchanged numbers had a couple of calls and agreed to meet.

 

Really nice first date on a Friday gets home and says had lovely time lets meet again for lunch on sunday do this again lovely time ends with a kiss.

 

He is then away the next weekend but we agree to meet up on the Friday go out again super time great chemistry see him again on the sunday.

 

Stay in and relax together watch TV kissing and nothing more although he tries when I leave as he had tried it on but not discussed wanting to see me again I decide by the time I get home to say to him that if you are looking for a hook up thats not what I want he sends apologies no no thats not what this is you are much more than that we are having a nice time.

 

He ups the amount he is texting calls we chat having nice conversations sets up a date for the following Friday as I am away this time.

 

Friday comes he picks me up great conversation go for drinks have a nice time one thing leads to another I end up staying the night and then he takes me home in the morning and spends a few hours at mine together leaves with a kiss and says text you later.

 

Within 40mins of him leaving my friend messages me and asks why is your date online so little put out so decide to look for myself and sure enough he is online and has also posted two new pictures from his holiday which he went on after we had been on two dates so no big deal hes still single.

 

Saturday evening comes he attempts conversation but nothing about having a nice time looking forward to seeing me again just about him having to go into work on the Sunday I respond same as normal say had a good time make little jokes and he ends with have a nice evening closing the conversation down.

 

Sunday Silence

 

Monday nothing so far

 

I might be overthinking things but I dont get it was I just a challenge cause I was willing to leave it at date three if all he was looking for was hook up or am I overthinking this.

 

Background he 35 single longest relationship 1year me 27 longest relationship 5 years single now for 3

 

Apologies it is a bit of a ramble but I am so confused I dont know if I have just been out of the game to long or I have been played???

Posted

Maybe. It seems awfully conincidental that things seemed to be going well, you sleep together & he disappears. Sorry.

Posted (edited)

 

Stay in and relax together watch TV kissing and nothing more although he tries when I leave as he had tried it on but not discussed wanting to see me again I decide by the time I get home to say to him that if you are looking for a hook up thats not what I want he sends apologies no no thats not what this is you are much more than that we are having a nice time.

 

 

 

Friday comes he picks me up great conversation go for drinks have a nice time one thing leads to another I end up staying the night and then he takes me home in the morning and spends a few hours at mine together leaves with a kiss and says text you later.?

 

You havent had sex with him yet. Hes keeping his options open and on the look for a girl who will put out. Thats what I would be doing. Sounds like he's putting in the work, why not have sex with him?

 

Maybe you did and I read your post wrong, but a girl who stays the night at my house and doesn't have sex with me would probably be put on the back burner.

Edited by ktya
Not sure if I am reading OPs post right
Posted
You havent had sex with him yet. Hes keeping his options open and on the look for a girl who will put out. Thats what I would be doing. Sounds like he's putting in the work, why not have sex with him?

 

Maybe you did and I read your post wrong, but a girl who stays the night at my house and doesn't have sex with me would probably be put on the back burner.

 

Exactly this. I am not sure if you actually slept with him (you didn't specify), but I have to definitely agree with this poster.

 

You only ever go to someone's place (or invite them to yours) if you know things are going to happen. If you are uncertain, don't come over. It sends more than just mixed messages.

 

That's pretty much why I always told every woman that I was with whom wanted to see my place that my apartment is only for one thing and one thing only. THere are a million other venues to hang out, but if you want to "hang" at mine, there are certain implications. It was always accepted and "things" did occur. The one it it didn't and the girl tried to blueball me, I kicked her out and told her to take the bus home. She tried to contact me again, I told her to **** off. You break the rules, you break it with me.

Posted
The one it it didn't and the girl tried to blueball me, I kicked her out and told her to take the bus home. She tried to contact me again, I told her to **** off.

 

Holy. I dont know if I would be that forceful about it but I agree entirely in the spirit of what your saying.

 

First time a girl spends the night at my house its for sex. After a few rounds, I will tolerate her spending the night with no sex sometimes.

  • Author
Posted

We did go all the way so maybe that just didn't stack up for him or 5 dates was to early and put him off

Posted

If he wasn't interested in you anymore ...... then letting you know that is the polite and mature thing to do ...... especially if you had sex.

Posted
We did go all the way so maybe that just didn't stack up for him or 5 dates was to early and put him off

 

Well if you did go all the way then I can't honestly say why he has fallen off. I would not worry that 5 dates was too early for him.

 

How did he perform in the sack? Maybe after all that time he performed like a minuteman and was embarrassed?

 

Maybe reach out to him, invite him to your place. If he bites and last time he performed like a minuteman, give him a BJ to finish, fool around with hands for a while, BJ him back up again 20 minutes later and let him perform like a rockstar for you.

 

He'll be calling you five times a day after that.

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