v_gia Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Hi all, So I've been dating this guy, and I really like him. We really click and we have good times and conversations. But he's made no move at all in three dates. On the last date I was touching him more (casual/pg), trying to bring out intimacy, but he didn't try to touch me. And at the end of the date I tried to hover, give him an opportunity to kiss me, but it turned into awkward staring a bit. And then I was flustered enough that I didn't even hug him good bye as I'd done on the two previous dates. Granted I could say the atmosphere for a kiss may not be the greatest. Our dates always end with us at our cars, since we drive ourselves to the date location. I guess what I'm seeking is advice to make the best atmosphere for a kiss. Or even more touching, because that can lead up to a kiss. Maybe date ideas to help break that barrier? Or should I just leave it alone and let whatever will happen to happen? And I realize I could make the first move, but I find it much more attractive and show of character for a man to make the first move.
katinlc Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 (edited) I'm in the same boat as you. I've been on 4 dates with a guy I met online and we hung out at my house and watched a movie last night for date #5 and he has yet to make any kind of move. I was really confused after date #3 and no kiss but assumed it was the circumstances (we went for a nature hike and were all sweaty), but then I thought date #4 was the perfect opportunity (drive-in), yet nothing other than a hug at the end of the night. I at first decided he wasn't that interested and wasn't going to invest. However, he still texted me everyday and kept asking me out. What I have finally decided is that he must be VERY shy about the whole dating thing. He's not a shy person so I was thrown for a bit, but the lack of initiating any touching, kissing, compliments etc... was different for me, but his actions show he is interested. I've decided that maybe this is a good thing to not move too quickly and I like the guy enough to give it a chance and see where it goes and just not worry about it - it will happen when it happens. I struggle really bad with making the first move, so we are quite the pair, but I figure we'll work it out in time and no need to rush - just enjoy the company. So I would give you the same advice - if his actions show he is interested then don't worry about the pace (as long as you can handle the slow pace) and let it flow naturally and if you need to slowly make the first move - go for it. I've done everything I could to set the perfect date scenario up and have done the whole touching, giving hints, etc... and it didn't change anything, so I'm not sure date ideas will change anything if he is that shy and you don't want to make the first move. Edited June 16, 2014 by katinlc
sillybint Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 I had the same problem recently. We met up in a bar and after a few drinks I said 'so are you gonna kiss me then?' and he did. If you don't ask, you don't get
Fondue Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 v_gia, I think you should have at least given him a hug regardless. You might have given him the impression that you're no longer as interested in him by giving him hugs the previous two meets, then nothing at the end of the third one. While I know it is frustrating he didn't make a move, I feel like you might have accidentally put yourself in a position that tells him you might be lacking interest now. Just my two cents.
d0nnivain Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 The man who is now my husband didn't kiss me until our 3rd date. Like you I was perplexed because I know I had been sending all the right signals. My cousin convinced me it was my outfits. The 1st two dates were right after work & a lunch date so I had on conservative clothes. I stepped it up a notch with a short skirt & high heels for the 3rd date & viola finally a kiss. I was prepared to kiss him -- at least a peck -- if he hadn't made a move that night but after that I was going to dump him because I thought he wasn't into me.
Recommended Posts