It seems like he doesn't want to spend as much time with me, should I be concerned?

[lanamarie]

Maybe this is why he's never had a serious relationship lasting more than a couple of months. His girlfriends have got fed up with being confined to once a week.

 

I'm beginning to suspect that this is exactly why he's never had a successful, serious relationship. Maybe previous girls haven't been as direct with him about their requests, and problems have manifested themselves in other ways/they got tired it. Maybe they just haven't seen it as being woth putting in the effort, and maybe he hasn't been willing to do anything differently when problems were brought to his attention.

 

I find it incredibly odd that he's never spent more than 1x a week with a girlfriend and that a 25 year old wouldn't understand that a normal relationship requires more than 1x a week. But he really, REALLY seemed to not realize anything was wrong.

 

He is very, very caught up in his own world. He's hypersensitive and stresses out fairly easily. I'm a really laid back and calm person, so for the most part I think I'm more equipped to handle his personality than most. Still, I'm not sure if this is right for me.

[lanamarie]

I think this all sounds good!

 

Critique can make someone defensive but just keep an eye on his temper.

It's good that he just calmed down though - and tiredness can make people irritable. I would make a point to note when his temper flares up and what it's over.

 

The rest however sounds great, good communication and it sounds like you have a way forward.

I'm a busy person during a normal week also and a 25 minute trip for me during the week would be tough to keep up every single week. Some week's I can still be at work at 10pm at night instead of finishing at my usual time of 5.30pm and it can be pretty unpredictable sometimes.

 

As far as the learning how a relationship works..well..we see on here that people don't know how often to text/call/meet for another date all the time so yes, sounds like he is learning.

 

He is also at the age where he needs to make an impact with studies and work (same as you if you are career minded which I assume you are due to your studies) - that can all be tough stuff when you really are just growing up still and finding your path in life.

 

See how it pans out...you might have to give him a nudge about week nights in the beginning as when you're busy and tired a week can fly past before you know it.

 

 

Thank you for this post. Yes, we're both 25 and in grad school so that does take up a huge chunk of time. I am going to give it a couple weeks and see how things pan out. If there is no change, well that would answer my question about his interest.