lindlom Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 I am 22, my ex is 45. He was also my first boyfriend. Yes, really. We had a sexual relationship for about 4 months, during which time he started to show signs of deep caring. He seemed quite sad whenever I left to go home and sometimes he said he's too tired to do anything other than just sleep. Then he would cuddle me and make sure I was comfortable, even would offer to cook for me afterwards. He started to say things like 'sigh, I would marry you if you just weren't so young'. He didn't really know my feelings and said not to be creeped out, he'll never come bothering me. Despite him being a handsome and youthful guy, he had a pretty low self esteem and even thought I was mocking him if I told him nice things, said he doesn't understand what a girl like me is doing spending time with him. His wife from three years ago was his age, a normal average kinda chubby woman. He always gave out this image of not being a hugely succesful ladies man. It took me quite some time to actually start believing he's having genuine feelings for me and after that I realised I'm falling for him. Some time later I had a conversation with him and asked does he want a relationship with me. He seemed quite shocked that I asked this and then told me how happy he is. I've never met anyone I could even remotely imagine being in a relationship with and it's very rare for me to develop a crush so I thought this must be destiny or something. Everything seemed to go good and a couple of weeks from that I asked is he still sure about this. Answer: yes absolutely. 5 weeks into the relationship I suddenly discovered he's been texting and quite positively been physical with other (at least some of them paid) women the whole time. I shoved the evidence to his face, he couldn't get a word out except for saying how pissed he is. I left and didn't hear from him since. 3 weeks from that he suddenly texted me a lame apology. I told him quite pitilessly what I think of him and added that I am willing to sort things out but an sms is no way to apologize for this. He said something that made no sense and after that nothing. It's been over 3 weeks now. I'm starting to accept I will never hear from him again but the it's so hard for me to let just go like this. I feel and probably sound like a child but I can't understand there are people who play like this. My question is what could possibly go thru this guy's mind? Is it possible he really never cared and I was just something he could throw away like that? Does he think of me like I think of him daily or can he forget just like that? I am not looking for answers like 'move on and forget', obviously I need to but my brain doesn't work like that. He is the type of person who needs alot of affection and intimacy, why does he throw away what he called every "old man's" dream situation, a young model girlfriend who would have been faithful to him and cared for him because of who he is, not his money or other things and exchange it to numerous meaningless sex partners or "weekend girlfriends"?
Author lindlom Posted June 15, 2014 Author Posted June 15, 2014 Reading my post I realise it does make him sound like he wasn't after anything but sex. But why did he share stories about his small son with me, wanted me to spend time at his place even if only watching tv, spoke about future trips and took an interest in me?
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