lovemachine Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Pardon this djungle-text. I am not a super social person, I think I'm just like any average person but I have not had a friend, that I would consider.. a true friend for about 12 years or something. I have a pretty easy time getting to know new people, but its either work-friends, uni-friends or internet-friends - which I wouldn't really consider friends but I do talk online a lot cos I like to write. And I have been happy with that because well, having that is better than having nothing. Recently I was invited to someone from uni, with some other people I know from there (we had never met like that before, not uni-related but we are close at uni) These people all have things in common, that I don't really share which made me realize that they're not that close to me.. I just wanted to get out of there after a while. Same thing happened a year ago with other people from uni. It basically drove us further apart. Now I have a bf who has "better" friends than I do, people he can talk to and do all his favourite things with.. And when he's off partying with people from work I've rarely got anyone to talk to. I just don't click with anyone beside him; because I've known many many people, but I guess my interests are a bit strange, or my personality I don't know, I don't like partying anyway. Yes I do have activities outside of work/uni but its not the best place to make friends, and most are not my agegroup. I am worried it's gonna be an awkward (future) wedding.. maybe its all my own fault, maybe im not tolerant or nice enough.
jbelle6 Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 Pardon this djungle-text. I am not a super social person, I think I'm just like any average person but I have not had a friend, that I would consider.. a true friend for about 12 years or something. I have a pretty easy time getting to know new people, but its either work-friends, uni-friends or internet-friends - which I wouldn't really consider friends but I do talk online a lot cos I like to write. And I have been happy with that because well, having that is better than having nothing. Recently I was invited to someone from uni, with some other people I know from there (we had never met like that before, not uni-related but we are close at uni) These people all have things in common, that I don't really share which made me realize that they're not that close to me.. I just wanted to get out of there after a while. Same thing happened a year ago with other people from uni. It basically drove us further apart. Now I have a bf who has "better" friends than I do, people he can talk to and do all his favourite things with.. And when he's off partying with people from work I've rarely got anyone to talk to. I just don't click with anyone beside him; because I've known many many people, but I guess my interests are a bit strange, or my personality I don't know, I don't like partying anyway. Yes I do have activities outside of work/uni but its not the best place to make friends, and most are not my agegroup. I am worried it's gonna be an awkward (future) wedding.. maybe its all my own fault, maybe im not tolerant or nice enough. I have interests that are very different than any of my friends but I can still make connections with people. I do take a while to warm up to/get used to people at first, so I'm never the type to have a ton of friends, but I have a few real close ones. Have you considered talking to someone about this? Could be some social anxiety going on. I used to panic a bit in new settings or meeting new people. I was deathly shy. My wedding was horrible, just having to be up in front of people was torture. Once I started cognitive behavior therapy a lot of thoughts that used to race through my head calmed down a lot. Maybe you could check out some CBT books to start?
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