blasta90 Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 I've been with my girlfriend for about 7 months, known each other for almost 11 years now and had a previous relationship for little over a year a lil after we first met. Does my gf have a right to be upset and not like the fact that I remain in contact with my good friend who lives 2 states away that I had brief sexual encounters with 3 years ago? My friend is engaged, her & I both established long ago that it would never work out but we want to remain friends. She also is a person I turn to for advice when I go through hard times and she's like family. My gf wants me to never speak to her again and put her in the past. I respect & love my gf but I don't know how to bring myself to do this. I don't like burning bridges with people I'm close to and I wouldn't feel good doing it either. I'm willing to make sacrifices though, but I know that I would never do anything with my friend again. My gf shouldn't worry but she thinks otherwise and believes that feelings can come back, even though that's not the case with my friend. On a side note, my contact with my friend is not often. I'd say we speak about 1-2 times a month or less. Any help or advice will be appreciated! Thank you.
LittleTiger Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Your gf has a right to feel however she feels...and you have a right to be friends with whoever you choose. If staying in regular contact with your friend two states away is important to you, and your gf finds it too difficult to cope with, you may just be incompatible. I would suggest trying a compromise, with you having less contact with your friend but, I suspect your gf is the insecure type who wouldn't be happy unless you cut this friend off altogether. I think you need to decide which is more important to you. I know I wouldn't cut any good friend out of my life because someone else asked me to - whoever they were.
todreaminblue Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 I tend to go with teh person i am in a realtionship with if i am doing soemthing that makes him feel insecure or bad i stop.....it does come down to what is more important to you.....i dont think face to face time with someone who you have had feelings for is a good idea like i havent seen my ex since we spit seven plus years ago adn even with that seven plus years under my belt if i was in a relationship i woudl continue to not see him,as he is in a relationship...... if we were to be alone together....i cant guarantee anything...and we dont need to be alone together even though we have three girls i do need phone contact but thats it.....my ex from before that ex sleeps on my couch but he is finally and its been a long haul, going to gain restitution and have his own place ill still help him out. any guy i am serious about would get to talk to the father of my children, and everything would be above board, as i have girls to set an example for......i wouldnt jeapordize my responsibilities, but if a guy i was with was uncomfortable, i would want to make him the priority and let him feel that he was the guy who is most important in my life now and in the future......and all exes know this to be true...thats why they are my friends after splitting...i am trustworthy 1
Author blasta90 Posted June 15, 2014 Author Posted June 15, 2014 Your gf has a right to feel however she feels...and you have a right to be friends with whoever you choose. If staying in regular contact with your friend two states away is important to you, and your gf finds it too difficult to cope with, you may just be incompatible. I would suggest trying a compromise, with you having less contact with your friend but, I suspect your gf is the insecure type who wouldn't be happy unless you cut this friend off altogether. I think you need to decide which is more important to you. I know I wouldn't cut any good friend out of my life because someone else asked me to - whoever they were. Yes she would be totally secure and happy if I just cut off my friend. I believe my gf is like this because of her past relationships. She's been played and cheated on. Although she says out of all the guys she's dating that I'm the most trustworthy so idk why she should be upset about this. She is insecure somewhat and I feel she may think negatively that she may be getting played again which is totally not the case. Thx for the advice
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