Bigcitydreamer Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 how did you say no to him? and you were attracted to him physcially from the beginning right? I said something along the lines of "no sorry I don't think it would work, your not really my type" I was also drunk at the time (it was a party) and I was taken off guard by him just asking me out so boldly. I wasn't very attracted to him right away. I never even considered him like that, I've never really known why that was. But after reflecting on how forward he was and eager he seemed, and he was also very nice to me I started to reconsider. I then thought about his physical attributes and realized that even though he wasn't exactly what I had pictured he was still pretty attractive. The next time he saw me he asked me out again, and I was super happy!
you_can_not_see_me Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 (edited) I said something along the lines of "no sorry I don't think it would work, your not really my type" I was also drunk at the time (it was a party) and I was taken off guard by him just asking me out so boldly. I wasn't very attracted to him right away. I never even considered him like that, I've never really known why that was. But after reflecting on how forward he was and eager he seemed, and he was also very nice to me I started to reconsider. I then thought about his physical attributes and realized that even though he wasn't exactly what I had pictured he was still pretty attractive. The next time he saw me he asked me out again, and I was super happy! were things awkward between you two at all after the first time you said no? Edited June 15, 2014 by you_can_not_see_me
KatZee Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 (edited) You obviously missed the whole point. I also wasn't just talking about women needing a little push. Men need a little push too like myself. Honestly, I don't agree with this at all. I don't think people need a "push" to date someone. I'm quite sure people are capable of making their own decisions, and either choose to give someone a shot, or choose not to. To continue to push, and continue to ask, and hound, to me... is disrespectful and it's indicative of a person who doesn't know what boundaries are. For example, I've known a guy for years. He's made it known countless times over the years that he's interested in me and that he wants to take me out on a date. I've also made it known that I was not, and still am not interested. He still TO THIS DAY continues to insist we go on a date, that one day he's going to "break me" and that I'll crack and give him a shot. He asks me out on dates at least twice a week. I say no every single time. I'm very sure that I know who I am interested in, and who I want to date. I'm very sure that if I wanted to date this guy, I would be dating him. I don't need a guy to push me and to insist we go anywhere. I have noticed this though. If a woman says "no" the guy acts like she's playing hard to get. I'm sure some women do this, but when I say no, I mean no. It doesn't mean come at me harder, get super clingy, order me around, plan a date. It means, go away. I've noticed when I am not interested in a guy and I treat him like he's of non-importance that these guys chase 100000x harder. Edited June 15, 2014 by KatZee 1
TheGuard13 Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 These "I wore her down when her options dwindled" stories are so romantic. 2
Author Tim22 Posted June 15, 2014 Author Posted June 15, 2014 Wow it is evident that you can't please all women. Some will be turned off that a guy pursues too much while others will be turned off that he pursues too little. A guy can't win if he goes on either extreme. But to be fair yes there are guys on this board that go to one extreme of pursuing too much after it is obvious she is not interested because they can't accept the reality of rejection. Then there's the shy guy who is afraid to pursue much even after she has given him many buying signals. I mean how many threads are started by women here asking members "I like this guy but he hasn't made a move. Is he shy or not interested?". Then there goes the debate among members when they do not even know the guy. Maybe he really likes her and is being cautious.
Dallers Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 Wow it is evident that you can't please all women. Some will be turned off that a guy pursues too much while others will be turned off that he pursues too little. A guy can't win if he goes on either extreme. But to be fair yes there are guys on this board that go to one extreme of pursuing too much after it is obvious she is not interested because they can't accept the reality of rejection. Then there's the shy guy who is afraid to pursue much even after she has given him many buying signals. I mean how many threads are started by women here asking members "I like this guy but he hasn't made a move. Is he shy or not interested?". Then there goes the debate among members when they do not even know the guy. Maybe he really likes her and is being cautious. I think it has a lot to do with who you are and what you have been through. I go for a lot of chances now as opposed to zero or very few chances that I did before. Back then I saw myself as a feeble guy who had little value and so I would pursue and walk myself into the Friend-zone. Now I have built my confidence up a piece I quickly walk away and go onto the next person. This is sometimes hard to do still because I do actually like them but as soon as I get a sign of rejection I walk away, delete the number. I guess it is also about self preservation. In the dating world today that is very important. Otherwise you waste your life dwelling and pursuing.
Gaeta Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 This man has been heavily pursuing me for a date since March. I told him for the past 3 months I was in a relationship, I don't do dates while in a relationship so stop asking. He would contact me each month and ask 'still in love, when can I take you out on a date?'. I've found myself single now, I am thinking maybe I should give him that date. The thing is I would not be giving him a date because I am interested in him but simply to fill an otherwise empty Saturday night spot. So to all the guys that are insisting and insisting I hope they realize that if ever the lady finally accepts it's not because she is excited and motivated to go on a date with you, it's probably because she is bored and you're the option that involves the least of efforts. How do you feel knowing that? 2
Dallers Posted June 15, 2014 Posted June 15, 2014 This man has been heavily pursuing me for a date since March. I told him for the past 3 months I was in a relationship, I don't do dates while in a relationship so stop asking. He would contact me each month and ask 'still in love, when can I take you out on a date?'. I've found myself single now, I am thinking maybe I should give him that date. The thing is I would not be giving him a date because I am interested in him but simply to fill an otherwise empty Saturday night spot. So to all the guys that are insisting and insisting I hope they realize that if ever the lady finally accepts it's not because she is excited and motivated to go on a date with you, it's probably because she is bored and you're the option that involves the least of efforts. How do you feel knowing that? Exactly. The ones that have eventually led to something still began with this thought. Yes you may have eventually turned the tides and won her heart but you were still the last fish in the fishmongers. Ask, if it is no then walk away.
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