Thatone4 Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 Here's my roller coaster ride.... My ex and I booked a cruise for my 24th birthday this year in January during our trip, she mentions she wants to train in the gym with one of her male co workers. This raises a flag and during our trip I snoop through her phone, reading her text messages. I read her conversation with one of her girlfriends stating that she "kind of wants to be single". While going through her phone I read a text with her male co worker potential gym buddy. He is flirting with her but she says "I have a boyfriend". While on the boat it went downhill after I mention the text with her girlfriend with her stating "I kind of want to be single". A week later she breaks up with me. I start begging, crying, doing everything I should have not done. The very next day I see her and bring her a bouquet of flowers and wear the clothes that she bought me during our relationship. While in the relationship I was sort of cold in regards to the emotional/affectionate aspect of the relationship. I have OCD and through out our relationship I would rather resort to one of my "rituals" than show her my true emotions/love to her, as weird as that sounds. I was going to seek help for my OCD but never did during our relationship, I was literally going to tell her the during the breakup phone call that I was going to seek help. She was the first person I have ever told that I have OCD. During the first week of the break up, I visit a psycologist and beg for her to meet up with me after my visit. She finally agrees and we were supposed to originally have just lunch and I would be on my way to class. One thing led to another and we are kissing intamely and we go back to my place and have sex. We are communicating with me starting each conversation and we agree to have "closure". Our "closure" would be at a park we would visit frequently and we would have dinner and never speak or see each other ever again. But this was only the beggining of the ride. We did meet up, but did not stick to our original plan as we went back to my place, watched the Super Bowl, had sex once again and visited a different park that we had been to before. I constantly texted/called her all the time since I felt lonely and truly loved her. She did text me one time at first and said she forgot her umbrella in my car, but it was no where to be found and during this conversation she said that she misses me. One day I call her up crying, begging, missing her, etc. she calls me back a few minutes later crying and says "we will be back in the future, I don't know when, but we will be back and I tell her I will pick her up from work. We met up again a week later, once again have sex and she mentions that she was going to go out drinking with her co workers and her male friend that was going to train her, if I had given her my consent. I ask her what she would do if he attempted to kiss her. Her response, "I don't know". He doesn't drink according to her so he just went for her, and he eventually leans over to kiss her, they kiss. We meet up again during the week, once again have dinner and sex. But she sees him again. They were originally were supposed to have coffee and call it a day. He presents her with a necklace with half of a heart and tells her "I've been saving this for the girl of my dreams" she accepts the necklace and tells her his mom had prepared dinner for them and it would be disrespectful if she doesn't show. They went to his house, he introuduces her to his mother and his "girlfriend" and one thing led to another and they eventually have sex. And I'm still texting her and asking her if I still have "hope" for us in the future and she replies to me to still have "hope" the day after she had sex with him. Even after she tells me this, and the pain that it caused me to feel I still wanted to see her. I offered to see her and she agreed to meet. I'm helping her do her taxes, I'm in her house with her brother. In a little while I see her dad, shake his hand and we're on our way back to my place. We have sex and she mentions "this is why you're better". Since I asked her hahaha. She tells me she was going to return the necklace and not see him alone again but says if they go out together as a group with her co workers she can't avoid not seeing him. During the week he quits his job. The next day, which is the day before Valentines day we are talking on the phone and she is running late to work. She has Japanese orchid flowers, which I heard cost over $600 and $200 worth of perfume waiting for her at her job. She texts me asking if it was from me. I joke and say it was from her supervisor but it was from him. He shows up in the store gets down on one knee and says how much he loves her in front of everyone. I pick her up like I said I would and give her my valentines day gift, which were two framed pictures I thought were of significant moments during our relationship and remember how insignificant they looked compared to his gifts. I drop her home and carry the flowers of another man into her house prior to being an emotional wreck. After texting her after I dropped her home and her ignoring me a few texts later I stopped communicating with her for a a little less than a week. During this time I decided to plot a surprise of my own with the assistance of her mom. I book a trip for her and whoever she wants to go with to Disney World. I decorate an empty shoe box with rose petals inside write on the box "open for magic" and add a romantic/fun type of letter stating "You and a guest have won an all expense paid trip to Disney World..." In a game show type of genre with hits of love through out the letter reminsicate of our cute things she would do through out our relationship. I give the surprise to her mom and am on my way to work. She calls me up thinking it's a joke. I couldn't talk since I was at work and she wants me to text her the details, rather than call her the next day. I call her the next day and tell her it's not a joke and I tell her she can go with anyone she wants. She gets off the phone with me for about an hour and calls me back. She informs me with who she wants to go with. You guessed it right! She picks him. I'am even more of an emotional wreck with her before and never experienced pain like this before in my life. I eventually book the trip for him and her. We agree to meet up the next day and talk at dinner. Once she steps into my car she mentions the trip and says she rather go with her sister. I wanted to surprise her with dinner and finally cook her a meal, as I never cooked for her or myself during the relationship. I surprise her to my place put on a French accent and present her with a romantic menu that I made. I we've dinner over a fake candle light and we eventually have sex yet again. We meet up again about a week later and I go to her house and book her the trip for her and her sister to go. We have dinner and I'm on my way back home and we "agreed" to not see or speak to each other again. While home I text her to ask her if she can make her twitter private. I would constantly check her twitter since it was public. Her response was "block yourself". I finally grew a pair of balls and decided to cancel her trip and deleted all our pictures on my phone and informed her I was throwing out her stuff. This led to her to delete our pictures from her instagram. We ended on a good note and she mentions her supposed "psychic" uncle still sees us getting back together. Her uncle correctly predicted her sisters unsuccessful marriage and her dating a man that starts with the letter "G" or "J", which my name begins with "G". A few days later I bring her soup, since she was sickafter visiting my grandmother at the hospital. We are sort of fore playing but did not have sex or kiss. I'am still texting her constantly through out the week and finally tell her I would "let her fly". I stopped communicating with her for about 10 days and she finally texted me after she would ask her uncle how I'm doing and said "is it crazy that I miss him?" I recieve a text that says "Hey" and we start talking and and she mentions she wants to give me back the Disney tickets. I couldn't cancel the Disney tickets since they were in her possecion already and I had shipped it to her house. We agree to meet a few days later with an unset time. She texts me asking me to call her if I'm not busy. I call her on the phone, we talk for about 3-4 hours. During the conversation she asks me "so.... When was tv last time you had sex?" I tell her two weeks again forgetting it was three weeks ago with her her. And she got all excited and I correct myself telling her it was with her. Then I ask her and it was a few weeks ago with him. While on the phone before we hangs up she says "I'm only giving you back the tickets rights" she wanted to do more than that without saying it. I ask her if she would also like to have dinner and she agrees. I leave class early, I remember her giving me the biggest hug she had ever given me and hadn't seen her that excited to see me before. I have dinner with her, have sex with her again. While in bed I tell her we should write on our phones why we still love each other and we did and exchanged phones. The very next day I recieve a text on my phone that says "Hey I miss you as a lover you don't have to reply hehe". I relply "is there anything you're going to do about it?" She says "Not right now I don't think so". She texts me to pick her up from work, I do and we eat dinner and I'm supposed to be on my way to a party my friend invited me to. We eat, I mention to her if she has sex with him again I can't take her back. And I ask her "if I kiss her girl tonight how would you feel? She smacks my head and says "sorry I forgot we're not in a relationship". I never wind up going to the party as there was a cover charge after midnight. We're still talking and since I was going to an orientation for work near her neighborhood we agreed to meet for dinner. I pick her up and give her an intimate kiss and we eat dinner. While in my car we're sitting and talking for about an hour and she is going through her phone showing me pictures that she still has of us on her Facebook. She specifically shows me one of her and I captioned "boyfriend" on it. I drop her home and we kiss goodbye. She met irons she was going to see him tomorrow and he has a surprise for her. I call her up asking what the surprise was, she says a well written love letter and she no longer feels the same way she was feeling towards me that day. She mentioned on that day "This feels like a relationship but I like it this time unlike last month". For about a month we would text and call with myself always iniating. She asked me one time when the last time I had sex and told her it was with her. And I ask her, she was hesitant to tell me but eventually told me it was with him. I hang up the phone and tell her "have a good life". She texts me and says "well you did ask". And we are talking again and I ask her if she wants dinner, but she declines. During the time talking I mention that I had a date with another lady finally. And she is happy for me she says. The very same day I go on a date with her she uploads a picture of him and her on her instagram captioned "This guy" with heart emoticons. I text her asking if she if offical with him and she says "no". The next day she wants to hang out with me, but I couldn't since I had work. I try to at it cool and tell her it would be messed up if she didn't see him since she planned to see him. She sees him. I call her up a few days later, she mentions she had sex with him a family dinner and mentions that his family says that she motivates him to do things in his life. She tells me this after I offer to see her at her house and cook a meal together. One day it is pouring rain and I offer to drive her to work. She accepts and she exchanges the piece of gum she was chewing into my mouth, we didn't kiss during that trip. It is still raining hard later and I offer to drop her home and we kiss on the trip back and stayed out until around 2am and he was calling her about three times while we were together. The next day I offer to hangout with her again. She spent time with me she had originally planed to hang out with her cousins. We eat lunch, I offer to go back to my place to relax for a little, she was hesitant but finally went. We had sex again and afterwards went shopping in the mall. We ran into one of her coworkers that knows about her and him and he sees us holding hands. She introduces him to me. She is nervous since she wanted me to be a secret. She even went as far to block me to show him that I'm blocked even though they are not offical. During this time she mentioned she prayed to god to give her signs on who to pick and they were all pointing towards me. She mentioned she had two dreams one of us on a beach and we had a daughter together and another of her, her family and I on a vacation together. And I told her "you'll always be my baby" during the morning and she mentions that was a Mariah Carey song which I never knew it heard of. While in my car iam flipping through stations and pass the sing and she mentions the song playing and it is the first time I heard of it. The next day she went out drinking with her co workers. On her way home drunk, she texts me to call her. I called her and she is telling me she loves me, misses me, wants me back but also loves him. The same day she made it offical with him and texts me to no longer contact her and have a nice life since he told her to do so. She mentions to me to have a positive outlook if we would ever get back together and says you're probably with her anyways. We talked a little I wished her a happy Easter to her and left it at that. A week later she breaks up with him. She says she tells him, reason being she still loves me and wants to be with me. I text her after I hear that she is single from her uncle and we are texting. I offer if she would like to have dinner and she agrees one day. One day trains are not running so I offer to pick her up from work. I pick her up and she shows me a picture text from her mother once she got in the car. It was a picture of him and at her house waiting for her. I'm driving and going hysterical and had to pull over. I pulled over while still hysterical and start makin out with her. I originally did not want to drive her home and wanted to confront him but eventually drove her home. He waited at her house for her mother to get home to give her an early Mother's Day gift. She invited him inside. I eventually drove her home kissed her and went on my way. I text her the next day on how it went. She said it was interesting as he was crying and says he is depressed without her. We met up a few days later and had our dinner as planned. We kissed, ate and went shopping. I was going to buy her a dress but she refused. I mentioned to her I ordered her a birthday present that will take about a month to make and she says "I'm not expecting anything from you, you shouldn't have." I call her up the next day offering to take a one day getaway with him since it'll be end of my semester. She refuses and says "go with your friends". I still contacted her and she mentions his sister invited them to go on a vacation together and that she also bought his mom a mother day gift. A few days later she mentions she went out with her coworkers and he picked her up and dropped her home. During this time I've been following her twitter for about a month without contacting her. I noticed that she is not wearing his necklace she have her but is still wearing my braclet I got her for valentines day last year. She has posted stuff such as "don't take your girlfriend for granted you don't know who's out there correcting your mistake", etc. A week ago she texts her uncle asking about me. She tells him "He must realize we are not going to be together, I still love him, no feelings he'll always be my first love. Today I texted her around 12:30 AM wishing her a happy bday and many more and mention to her that her present should ship next week. She says "awwww you shouldn't have I'm not expecting anything". Then about an hour later says can you cancel it? I can't accept it?" "Save your money hehe" I tell her I'm not going to beg her to accept my gift and inform her I'll see if I can. She wants to know what the gift was. I finally tell her it was custom made Nike ID running shoes with the word "love" written in our ethinicities language. I sent her pictures of what the final product would look like. Afterwards we talked for a bit and I told her I'll let her be since she was on vacation. An hour later I texted her and said " I miss you so much...." With no response back. I feel as low as you can get right now. Can anyone with similar experiences share their story?
Itspointless Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 Why on earth did you accept all the stuff you wrote about? I am sorry for saying but she used you and you actually were encouraging it by buying all those gifts and having sex over and over again with her while you knew she was also doing it with him. I suspect you do not enjoy torture but it seems you do. Cut contact completely, that is the best I can recommend you. It will be hard, but better than what you are doing now.
KaliLove Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 She was playing both of you. Stop being a fool and cut her off. 1
Author Thatone4 Posted June 14, 2014 Author Posted June 14, 2014 Because I love her and still do for some reason after all of this. I don't understand how a person that says she love someone put them through such pain. She said she can't accept the gift because I'm an ex but can do all the other stuff prior to that.
Itspointless Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 Of-course you love her, but I am not sure if you love yourself enough.
Author Thatone4 Posted June 14, 2014 Author Posted June 14, 2014 Of-course you love her, but I am not sure if you love yourself enough.you're 100 % right. I gave her my dignity, pride, ego, self worth, etc.
Itspointless Posted June 14, 2014 Posted June 14, 2014 I am sorry man, sometimes we do crazy things. Make yourself proud again by choosing for you now.
Author Thatone4 Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 I'am going on a cruise next week. Here's the catch, it is the same boat that her and I went on for my birthday cruise. Any ideas on how to cope with his situation?
Itspointless Posted June 21, 2014 Posted June 21, 2014 I'am going on a cruise next week. Here's the catch, it is the same boat that her and I went on for my birthday cruise. Any ideas on how to cope with his situation? Not really. But if you plan to go you have a chance to replace the memories with some new good ones. I think it depends on the way you are able to handle the situation. If you are only able reliving the old memories, than I woudn't go. But I have to admit that being stuck on a boat isn't my idea of relaxing anyway
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