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How to cope after dating someone with borderline personality disorder?

drewdude

By drewdude
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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drewdude Established Member

drewdude

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Hello LS, Long story short. I posted many threads on this girl cause she was one hell of a rollercoaster ride for me. She was excessively needy, had highs/lows during the relationship, mostly depressed, seemed promiscuous, threatened to hang out with males at 12am+ cause I was too tired from working 10 hrs a day to see her on some days, used to be a meth user, was staying at random friends houses/motels, had abnormal outbursts of anger for no real reason..etc. We broke up once and she manipulated me back in and when feelings for her came back, she used me emotionally while she was out doing other guys(and still saying she missed/needed me! cant you believe that?)...I pretty much became her option till the point where when I asked to see her, she kept holding it off and off till I gave up.

 

I got tired of it, got into a big argument and left for good.(Btw, a day after the argument she texted me saying she lives her life in regret cause she pushes people who care away. And the next day, texted me admitting that she lied and used me(The way I found out and called her out was through a mutual friend). And the next day..I got a text from her saying I had no proof of anything she did and doesn't want to ever talk to me again)

 

Funny thing is I remember her mentioning in her late teens she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder but she ignored the doc and never came back. At the time, I didn't really read into what this disorder was. But now as my feelings are evaporating and thoughts are becoming clearer, I've been reading up on it and it is EXACTLY how she was during our relationship word for word.

 

Sad thing is people who get into these relationships are kind of fooling themselves/think different so basically everything I did for her(I treated her like a queen, took care of her, never cheated on her, etc) was for nothing. How do I cope after something like this? It totally screwed with my mind. Anyone else here ever date a girl with borderline personality disorder? Could use some advice, thanks!

Edited by drewdude
todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
Posted
Hello LS, Long story short. I posted many threads on this girl cause she was one hell of a rollercoaster ride for me. She was excessively needy, had highs/lows during the relationship, mostly depressed, seemed promiscuous, threatened to hang out with males at 12am+ cause I was too tired from working 10 hrs a day to see her on some days, used to be a meth user, was staying at random friends houses/motels, had abnormal outbursts of anger for no real reason..etc. We broke up once and she manipulated me back in and when feelings for her came back, she used me emotionally while she was out doing other guys(and still saying she missed/needed me! cant you believe that?)...I pretty much became her option till the point where when I asked to see her, she kept holding it off and off till I gave up.

 

I got tired of it, got into a big argument and left for good.(Btw, a day after the argument she texted me saying she lives her life in regret cause she pushes people who care away. And the next day, texted me admitting that she lied and used me(The way I found out and called her out was through a mutual friend). And the next day..I got a text from her saying I had no proof of anything she did and doesn't want to ever talk to me again)

 

Funny thing is I remember her mentioning in her late teens she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder but she ignored the doc and never came back. At the time, I didn't really read into what this disorder was. But now as my feelings are evaporating and thoughts are becoming clearer, I've been reading up on it and it is EXACTLY how she was during our relationship word for word.

 

Sad thing is people who get into these relationships are kind of fooling themselves/think different so basically everything I did for her(I treated her like a queen, took care of her, never cheated on her, etc) was for nothing. How do I cope after something like this? It totally screwed with my mind. Anyone else here ever date a girl with borderline personality disorder? Could use some advice, thanks!

 

 

 

i could be mistaken as a girl with border line, or shcizophrenia or shcizo afective ro clinically depressed.....i have distinct borders.......i am a disassciative or used to be known aa a multiple......often denied as existing....well hell yeah i am breathing so i exist as a mutiple.....i accept it now even though it seems liek a ridculous thing ...i am often ridiculously minded

 

 

you cant handle her so dont she isnt for you make sure she has a support network and people that care about her.....deb

flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

Posted
Posted
Hello LS, Long story short. I posted many threads on this girl cause she was one hell of a rollercoaster ride for me. She was excessively needy, had highs/lows during the relationship, mostly depressed, seemed promiscuous, threatened to hang out with males at 12am+ cause I was too tired from working 10 hrs a day to see her on some days, used to be a meth user, was staying at random friends houses/motels, had abnormal outbursts of anger for no real reason..etc. We broke up once and she manipulated me back in and when feelings for her came back, she used me emotionally while she was out doing other guys(and still saying she missed/needed me! cant you believe that?)...I pretty much became her option till the point where when I asked to see her, she kept holding it off and off till I gave up.

 

I got tired of it, got into a big argument and left for good.(Btw, a day after the argument she texted me saying she lives her life in regret cause she pushes people who care away. And the next day, texted me admitting that she lied and used me(The way I found out and called her out was through a mutual friend). And the next day..I got a text from her saying I had no proof of anything she did and doesn't want to ever talk to me again)

 

Funny thing is I remember her mentioning in her late teens she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder but she ignored the doc and never came back. At the time, I didn't really read into what this disorder was. But now as my feelings are evaporating and thoughts are becoming clearer, I've been reading up on it and it is EXACTLY how she was during our relationship word for word.

 

Sad thing is people who get into these relationships are kind of fooling themselves/think different so basically everything I did for her(I treated her like a queen, took care of her, never cheated on her, etc) was for nothing. How do I cope after something like this? It totally screwed with my mind. Anyone else here ever date a girl with borderline personality disorder? Could use some advice, thanks!

 

 

how do you cope? one day at a time. eventually it goes away.

harvej Established Member

harvej

Posted
Posted

There is no easy way around the post stress of dealing with a bpd. You must go NC and no face mice book and no text no nothing for 6 months. She will try to recycle you when she paints you white again. Run! They cannot be managed and her behavior will get worse and she will cheat on you.i dated bpd and can tell you now thru NC. I am ok! You will be too but must get away for good and let the forums and videos on you tube assist you . Look up no contact rule to heal nit to get her back. Lookup videos about bpd and dangerous women. Not singling out women, men have just as mush in personality disorders and probably worse. I am just talking in our situation.

  • Like 2
jbelle6 Established Member

jbelle6

Posted
Posted
Hello LS, Long story short. I posted many threads on this girl cause she was one hell of a rollercoaster ride for me. She was excessively needy, had highs/lows during the relationship, mostly depressed, seemed promiscuous, threatened to hang out with males at 12am+ cause I was too tired from working 10 hrs a day to see her on some days, used to be a meth user, was staying at random friends houses/motels, had abnormal outbursts of anger for no real reason..etc. We broke up once and she manipulated me back in and when feelings for her came back, she used me emotionally while she was out doing other guys(and still saying she missed/needed me! cant you believe that?)...I pretty much became her option till the point where when I asked to see her, she kept holding it off and off till I gave up.

 

I got tired of it, got into a big argument and left for good.(Btw, a day after the argument she texted me saying she lives her life in regret cause she pushes people who care away. And the next day, texted me admitting that she lied and used me(The way I found out and called her out was through a mutual friend). And the next day..I got a text from her saying I had no proof of anything she did and doesn't want to ever talk to me again)

 

Funny thing is I remember her mentioning in her late teens she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder but she ignored the doc and never came back. At the time, I didn't really read into what this disorder was. But now as my feelings are evaporating and thoughts are becoming clearer, I've been reading up on it and it is EXACTLY how she was during our relationship word for word.

 

Sad thing is people who get into these relationships are kind of fooling themselves/think different so basically everything I did for her(I treated her like a queen, took care of her, never cheated on her, etc) was for nothing. How do I cope after something like this? It totally screwed with my mind. Anyone else here ever date a girl with borderline personality disorder? Could use some advice, thanks!

 

 

I have never dealt with BPD but I HAVE dealt with NPD for 2 years. I honestly thought I was going mental. Worst experience of my life.

 

How do you cope? Be THANKFUL you are no longer exposed to this person. The relief I felt when I blocked him from everything and could actually breath is indescribable. I am still a bit ashamed that I put up with it for 2 years but I remind myself that all my other relationships were very healthy, these disturbed people are just THAT good at gaslighting and being charming to everyone.

  • Like 3
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drewdude Established Member

drewdude

Posted
  • Author
Posted
There is no easy way around the post stress of dealing with a bpd. You must go NC and no face mice book and no text no nothing for 6 months. She will try to recycle you when she paints you white again. Run! They cannot be managed and her behavior will get worse and she will cheat on you.i dated bpd and can tell you now thru NC. I am ok! You will be too but must get away for good and let the forums and videos on you tube assist you . Look up no contact rule to heal nit to get her back. Lookup videos about bpd and dangerous women. Not singling out women, men have just as mush in personality disorders and probably worse. I am just talking in our situation.

 

Thank you harveyj. I've been through a lot in my past and know how to get over people. Its just this is the first time I was with a BPD girl and she totally made me go crazy for a moment(due to her manipulation) and put me through a lot of emotional abuse. I've been NC for a week now(didn't respond to her text last week about hating me/never talking to me again) Just trying to work on ways to get my head screwed back on ya know? I heard they try and recycle feelings for someone is that true?

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