Infant screams until he gets what he wants or what?

[KathyM]

The norm here in the UK is that baby shares a room (if not a bed) with parents until AT LEAST 6 months.

 

KathyM, have you read up again on SIDS recently? - the room-sharing is not so that parents can spot if their child is struggling to breathe. Instead, although the causes of SIDS are still not known, large data sets indicate that sleeping in the same room greatly reduces the risk. It appears it may be linked to a sleep apnea-type behaviour. By sharing a room the baby hears noises and is unlikely to go in to a secondary, much deeper sleep that he/she is unable to rouse themselves from.

 

It's nothing at all to do with dependence on parents. And I'm not sure why I baby *shouldn't* be dependent on their parents... that's what we're there for and it's beautiful and wonderful

What noises is he hearing if parents are sleeping? And what about nap time? Do they recommend the door be left open so that noises from other rooms don't allow the baby to fall into a deep sleep?

 

 

From what I learned doing SIDS research a few years back, the risk factors for SIDS are if either parent is a smoker, or if the baby has an upper respiratory infection, or if the baby is premature, or if he is put to bed on his stomach, or his airways are not clear due to a mattress that is too soft.

 

 

Part of being a good parent is to teach children to be gradually more independent at an age appropriate level. Helping them learn to be able to go to sleep on their own at an appropriate age would be a good thing. As far as noises helping a baby to not go into a deep sleep, I always used a teddy bear in their room that would make soothing noises or music, so that would have the same effect, or probably better than any noises from parents sleeping.

 

 

I definately think it is unwise to let a baby sleep in a parent's bed, which is too big of a risk for suffocation, strangulation or entrapment, or a fall.

[Silly_Girl]

What noises is he hearing if parents are sleeping? And what about nap time? Do they recommend the door be left open so that noises from other rooms don't allow the baby to fall into a deep sleep?

 

 

 

I thoroughly recommend reading the updated information available online. But in answer to your question...

 

Noises such as breathing, snoring, coughing, moving etc. The baby takes naps in the same room as you also. Some parents even take baby in to the bathroom whilst they shower than leave baby alone, such is the advice about preventing SIDS by being with your baby in the early months.

Edited June 16, 2014 by Silly_Girl

[Silly_Girl]

 

 

I definately think it is unwise to let a baby sleep in a parent's bed, which is too big of a risk for suffocation, strangulation or entrapment, or a fall.

 

Again, worth reading up on, if you google 'safe co-sleeping guidelines' there's a lot there. I understand the WHO recommends co-sleeping as safe when done properly. The issue is that unstructured/unplanned co-sleeping gives proper safe co-sleeping a bad name.

[KathyM]

I thoroughly recommend reading the updated information available online. But in answer to your question...

 

The baby takes naps in the same room as you also. Some parents even take baby in to the bathroom whilst they shower than leave baby alone, such is the advice about preventing SIDS by being with your baby in the early months.

So you're saying that the baby needs to be watched continually while he is sleeping during the day during the first few months of life. And that he needs some form of noise while he sleeps at night to prevent SIDS. I'll concede on that if the AAP is recommending that. I guess a bassinette on wheels would be needed to wheel the sleeping baby around the house so he can go where you go in the house. But I do not agree that sleeping in an adult bed is safe for a baby.

 

 

And as far as the subject of this thread, which is an older baby who no longer needs night time feedings and will not settle down for bed, I do believe that the sleep training (which is recommended by many experts) is the way to go.

[KathyM]

Again, worth reading up on, if you google 'safe co-sleeping guidelines' there's a lot there. I understand the WHO recommends co-sleeping as safe when done properly. The issue is that unstructured/unplanned co-sleeping gives proper safe co-sleeping a bad name.

The point is that an adult bed does not have the safety requirements that make it safe for a baby. The mattress is too soft, the pillows, sheets and blankets pose a risk of suffocation, and the baby could become entrapped between the mattress and headboard or mattress and bedframe or wall, or he could roll off the bed and fall. The only safe way to sleep with a baby is on the floor, and without pillows or blankets. Of course, then you have the risk of suffocation if you accidentally roll over on the baby while sleeping or his nose and mouth become pressed up against you while sleeping, blocking his breathing passages. No, the safest place for a baby to sleep is in his bassinette or crib.

[jbelle6]

I agree with the other posts.

My little guy just didn't like to be by himself.

He really liked being in his baby sling so he could always hear my heartbeat, he'd sleep and I'd just go about my chores, I lost weight quick too just carrying the extra weight of him all day.

I also got a pack n play with the bassinet for my lower floor so I could put him to nap in there, ended up getting one for my bedroom too because he hated being up in his crib all alone. I admit I was paranoid and would panic if he was out of sight so those things made me feel better too.

 

Anyways, he rarely cried after that, he just didn't like being lonely/scared.

I do know my advice will not be practical if you have a busy/noisy house and need him in his room.

[alwayshere]

I basically "wore" my youngest most of the day the first 4 months of his life because he cried SO MUCH. He had reflux.

 

However, at night he went into his crib, and I slept in the twin bed in the nursery if necessary. We used a baby monitor. Did he fuss at times? Yes. Did I jump every time I heard a fuss? No.

 

He is a happy, independent, well adjusted young man who is very secure, unselfish, and knows how to think for and take care of himself. I've never wanted to nor had to hover over my children. And yes - horror of horrors - I actually spanked him twice....after he purposely, repeatedly, and with a defiant look on his face went ahead and did something he knew was a no-no.

 

I'm not sorry about any of it. He is at the top of his class, is kind and respectful, has never been drunk, gotten a girl pregnant, and has a healthy faith.

 

I think we did pretty darn well in spite of not being...um.....modern.

[jbelle6]

I basically "wore" my youngest most of the day the first 4 months of his life because he cried SO MUCH. He had reflux.

 

However, at night he went into his crib, and I slept in the twin bed in the nursery if necessary. We used a baby monitor. Did he fuss at times? Yes. Did I jump every time I heard a fuss? No.

 

He is a happy, independent, well adjusted young man who is very secure, unselfish, and knows how to think for and take care of himself. I've never wanted to nor had to hover over my children. And yes - horror of horrors - I actually spanked him twice....after he purposely, repeatedly, and with a defiant look on his face went ahead and did something he knew was a no-no.

 

I'm not sorry about any of it. He is at the top of his class, is kind and respectful, has never been drunk, gotten a girl pregnant, and has a healthy faith.

 

I think we did pretty darn well in spite of not being...um.....modern.

 

 

Why would you have to be sorry? Nothing wrong with that. I learned that if it was a little fuss to just give it a minute to calm down cause if I picked him up he would have more trouble getting back to sleep.

 

Spanked mine one time, he yanked his hand out of mine and ran for the road.

[alwayshere]

Why would you have to be sorry? Nothing wrong with that. I learned that if it was a little fuss to just give it a minute to calm down cause if I picked him up he would have more trouble getting back to sleep.

 

Spanked mine one time, he yanked his hand out of mine and ran for the road.

 

I only spanked him twice because you could literally see his little wheels turning trying to decide of the "pain" of the spanking was worth the fun of doing the bad thing anyway. If it seemed like enough fun, a spanking did nothing.

 

I only spanked my daughter once because she just fell apart and was crushed.

 

I readily admit I was lucky - neither of my kids have that whole defiant, strong-willed, rebel thing.

[Giggle]

The point is that an adult bed does not have the safety requirements that make it safe for a baby. The mattress is too soft, the pillows, sheets and blankets pose a risk of suffocation, and the baby could become entrapped between the mattress and headboard or mattress and bedframe or wall, or he could roll off the bed and fall. The only safe way to sleep with a baby is on the floor, and without pillows or blankets. Of course, then you have the risk of suffocation if you accidentally roll over on the baby while sleeping or his nose and mouth become pressed up against you while sleeping, blocking his breathing passages. No, the safest place for a baby to sleep is in his bassinette or crib.

 

You are so hyper aware of them when they are next to you...

You are talking the risk factors that make it unsafe. Safety requirements are for those who don't have any common sense, not because they are hard and fast rules.