BrunetteBabe1005 Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 I don't know how to approach this guy. He will come on strong, and act like he's in love with me (even my friends said this) and he's always acting like he has a crush on me, or is in love with me I guess you could say, and then BOOM! lol! He pulls the disappearing act on me. He won't contact me only a little bit. But what I don't understand is that even my friends said "Wow he really likes you" but yet he vanishes. He use to ask me out... it's a complicated story on why I rejected him. I am too shy...I am not upfront with my emotions at all. I do like him, but him pulling disappearing acts makes me question. Also when he wasn't talking to me I was talking to this guy and dated this other guy, and he literally got mad about it. Forget about guys! He gets mad when I mention any. But what I don't understand is then why do you pull the disappearing act on me if you get pissy about other guys? And even my friend said "Wow is he jealous" Is it because I don't reciprocate to him? I am not flirty with him, and I don't reciprocate but the only reason why I don't is because I just don't know how to take him, he's confusing, so I try to not let myself get to that vulnerable state. So I never reciprocate. I am just friendly with him and a friend to him, but I don't know if he vanishes because I don't reciprocate? Or if he is really not that interested? I have no clue! he does this all time, when he sees me he comes on really strong, and goes above and beyond...for real! then he backs away and I don't hear from him for quite some time and it's a repeated cycle and he says the most ridiculous things to me that is how strong he comes on like he'll say I am his soulmate and one time I was drunk and I said "I am such a mess" and he wasn't drunk but his reply was "You're one of a kind, you're extraordinary, you're beautiful" I said "Shut up yeah right!" He just kept quiet. He also invited me to his concerts alot cause he plays guitar in a band. I blew him off on 2 occasions and I went to his concert recently and we had a good time, and I said I was sorry for blowing him off on those 2 times, and he seemed ok, we had a blast! But he hasn't invited me to his concerts and he has one every weekend. So that confuses me too! Why do you think he does this? Is it cause I am "emotionally unavailable"? too shy and don't let him know how I feel? Or is it that he is not interested?
TXGuy Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 (edited) You are clearly not very Interested in this guy. He apparently had a crush on you and pursued you for a while. You repeatedly rejected him. So he gave up (but perhaps had a couple relapses). I'm not sure why you are confused. You are showing him you are indifferent to him and he is finally starting to accept it. Edited June 11, 2014 by TXGuy
beach Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 How old are you? Have you considered he may be married?
Author BrunetteBabe1005 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 You are clearly not very Interested in this guy. He apparently had a crush on you and pursued you for a while. You repeatedly rejected him. So he gave up (but perhaps had a couple relapses). I'm not sure why you are confused. You are showing him you are indifferent to him and he is finally starting to accept it. I do like him...I had my reasons though for rejecting him. I shwo him how much of a good friend I am to him. I help him out all the time. I show him how much I love him (at least on a friend level) I am not completely heartless to him. I care about him..maybe even too much...but when he pulls his disappearing act it makes me reconsider any possibility of being with him, cause it shows me he is not committed, but see...I don't if it's that or if it's me. Cause I don't reciprocate, and that is the only thing he can do, is distance himself cause I am not reciprocating? I have no clue, but he knows I am always there for him anytime, any place I am there for him! I have helped him out so many times.
beach Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Has he ever asked you OUT on a date? Did he pay? What did he plan for the date?
Author BrunetteBabe1005 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 How old are you? Have you considered he may be married? lol, he's not married. I am 23 years old.... he is 27.
beach Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 What did you do to "help him out?" Don't assume he's not married - did you ask him? Did you chech to be sure?
Author BrunetteBabe1005 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 Has he ever asked you OUT on a date? Did he pay? What did he plan for the date? He did ask me out before when I first met him....but I rejected him. The reason why cause there was so much drama circling him that I didn't want to get involved. There were girls after him and they are trashy girls and then he started to work for my dad's construction company and then I didn't want to date him cause he worked for my dad I didn't want to get int he middle of that. You know "don't date the boss's daughter" So it was difficult. He knows some of my friends so when me and my friends would hangout he would be in the group too. When the 4 of us went to a concert as friends going to a concert he paid for my beer and the beer there is expensive, haha. It's like $14 for a 12oz cup of Yuengling. But yeah he has offered to pay. When I picked him up cause he was stranded and his car broke down he wanted to take me to a restaurant and put gas in my car, but I refused cause I figured I am helping out a friend. I didn't want anything in return.
Author BrunetteBabe1005 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 What did you do to "help him out?" Don't assume he's not married - did you ask him? Did you chech to be sure? I helped him out emotionally. Offered alot of support. I helped him when he was stranded. I picked him up from alot of places in his drunken stuppors cause I didn't want him to get hurt. He sometimes gets stupid drunk and he is known for ending up in mysterious places and not knowing where he is going, and because I was worried about him I would go out and find him and pick him up and drop him home. I also picked him up from jail 3 times due to his drunken acts, and then he would get arrested for either a DUI or his drunken fights or whatever. I did alot of things for him in that way.
beach Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Ok then. You determined that you shouldn't date him - stick with that. Next time, if you're interested in dating a guy - don't roadblock what he wants to do FOR YOU.
Author BrunetteBabe1005 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 Not to be insensitive but you sound like you are 12 years old. Say goodbye to this relationship. Learn from it. Learn about yourself. You have no need to reciprocate unless you want to...then do it. You say you have helped this guy...why? A unhealthy pattern has developed. Next time you meet a guy, be more nature. Don't get drunk. Be a responsible adult. How do I sound like I am 12 years old? My maturity level isn't of a 12 year old haha. It's more like of a 16 year old. Ok...joking aside sorry. Seriously though I am just confused of the disappearing acts and I don't know if it's him or me. I don't know if it's because I am not reciprocating? Or if it's him? I helped him out cause I liked him and I felt bad for him. I am not drunk all the time with him....me and him and a couple of friends went to the bar! I don't get myself in drunken stuppors like he does. Thanks though.
preraph Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 I'm saying he is already with a woman and that's why the vanishing act. He would maybe leave her for you if you weren't acting weird yourself. But then not sure you'd want him since he's obviously sneaky. Other scenario is he could have an addiction of some type.
Author BrunetteBabe1005 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 I'm saying he is already with a woman and that's why the vanishing act. He would maybe leave her for you if you weren't acting weird yourself. But then not sure you'd want him since he's obviously sneaky. Other scenario is he could have an addiction of some type. Hmmm....could be that. He probably has alcoholism, cause he is always getting himself into trouble when alcohol is involved. So you could be right! Thanks.
beach Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Why are you bothering to waste time and energy on a guy you dismissed and ruled out already? You want him - you don't want him - that's just too confusing to men and most don't enjoy those kind of games. When a man is REALLY into you - nothing will stop them - they will ASK you OUT on a date and PAY to go out. Date someone else.
Author BrunetteBabe1005 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 That sounds like the justification of a 12 year old. Grow up. Are you really this socially inept and immature? But this.... But that... Grow up. I'm sorry if I sound like I am 12 years old. It's just my personality. I am a very goofy, out there, wild type of person. I just joke around alot. I try to make things light hearted even bad situations, cause that is just the type of person I am. I am not socially inept, am I immature? Yes! Not of a 12 year old though, and I do know my place. Thank you anyways.
Author BrunetteBabe1005 Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 Why are you bothering to waste time and energy on a guy you dismissed and ruled out already? You want him - you don't want him - that's just too confusing to men and most don't enjoy those kind of games. When a man is REALLY into you - nothing will stop them - they will ASK you OUT on a date and PAY to go out. Date someone else. Yeah. I know. He did try to ask me out but I rejected him though. I didn't give him a chance, but I am weary of him....so I don't know what I really want. Thanks.
beach Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Yeah. I know. He did try to ask me out but I rejected him though. I didn't give him a chance, but I am weary of him....so I don't know what I really want. Thanks. You said that already.
TXGuy Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 I do like him...I had my reasons though for rejecting him... I guess what I am saying is you can only reject a guy so many times before he gets the hint. You have mentioned the numerous times you have rejected him, and then wonder why he isn't asking you out as much as before. Even the most determined guy is going to eventually say enough is enough. This guy might not have given up entirely, but it sounds like he chasing you to your satisfaction only sporadically now. The window of opportunity for each other might have passed. It seems like you two might have communication styles that do not synch.
you_can_not_see_me Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 (edited) Op what do you expect from this guy? you want him to worship you non stop. I think its surprising the guy continues to show interest in you. If it were me and I felt like you were blowing me off I would have stopped trying to see you period. I am a proud guy and I don't want to be around a girl who isn't interested in me. Edited June 12, 2014 by you_can_not_see_me
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