have not heard from him since we slept together

[HappyLove]

Why are you even wasting your time? Did you meet on a dating site? If so why are you trying to fool yourself that you just want to be friends with this guy? You are coming off desperate at this point.

[BradJacobs]

Why are you even wasting your time? Did you meet on a dating site? If so why are you trying to fool yourself that you just want to be friends with this guy? You are coming off desperate at this point.

Have to agree with this.

 

This guy broke your heart and now you're accepting scraps by being just friends with him?

 

You did this to yourself. You're going to do worse in the coming days/weeks if you keep this charade up.

[writergal]

Update:

 

so after i told him last night that he hurt my feelings he has been apologetic. sent me a couple texts explaining he hasnt been feeling well and how sorry he is for not taking me fishing.

 

i replied this morning and said that its ok and i dont think his a bad guy, that i knew he was looking for friendship but pushed for more. but im happy to just friends if thats what he wants.

 

he replies yeh its ok and again apologises for hurting me.

 

then nothing.

 

then tonight he texts me and says hi how are you? im sorry about everything but would love to be friends if you like, and asks how my day was.

 

i reply that i would like that and we msg abit back and forth. almost back to the way it was before.

 

i dont know how to feel but im guarded. what does this mean?? could he still be interested in me? or just feeling guilty?

i dont get it as ive never had a guy just want to be "friends" with me, they either want more or nothing.

 

He just told via text now that he wants to be friends. No, he's not still interested in you. No, he doesn't feel guilty for just wanting to be friends with you.

 

You were attracted to him and you took a risk that didn't pan out for you. Not every guy you go out with will reciprocate any feelings you may develop. This guy doesn't want to date you. And you need to accept that.

 

I think you should really consider why you want to be friends with him. Is it so you can convince him to develop feelings for you? Or, do you think you can have a platonic friendship with him, without having any false expectations?

[readynow]

Don't try to read in between the lines what he has said directly. He is ok being friends with you if you like. This means all other options e.g. a romantic relationship, is off the table and 'friends' is all he can offer.

 

I know you're hurt and would like him to remain in your life but it's not worth it. He's not into you so let him go so you can find someone who is.

[writergal]

Don't try to read in between the lines what he has said directly. He is ok being friends with you if you like. This means all other options e.g. a romantic relationship, is off the table and 'friends' is all he can offer.

 

I know you're hurt and would like him to remain in your life but it's not worth it. He's not into you so let him go so you can find someone who is.

 

^^ This is great advice. No sense being a friends with a guy you still have some residual feelings for, because that will just distort your perception of what the friendship means to you. He'll think it's platonic whereas you'll harbor feelings for him. Not good.

 

I think you should just cut this one loose since you still like him. Otherwise I don't think it will turn out well for either of you.

[lil_missy]

so another update:

 

after the whole "lets be friends" thing, i barely heard from him for a couple of days and i started to let it go.

 

but then he started msging me alot and flirting with me again, its like he has split personalities. he kept asking me when can we hang out again? and tried to make plans with me but having not forgiven him from the last brush off, i told him maybe soon we'll see.

 

he has been keeping in touch with me most days during the week and he tried to invite me over one night to "keep me warm". but he said specifically that he was not gonna try to have sex with me, even though it will be hard coz im sexy but he will leave me to watch tv in peace if i came over. i cant tell if this is him being completely honest or a line to get me in bed?

 

then on friday night we hung out and he was really nice and attentive. we went out to eat then bought heaps of snacks to bring home to watch a movie, he paid for everything. then we just cuddled and kissed a bit in bed, he didnt try to sleep with me and he eventually started to fall asleep and i left.

 

another thing i noticed in the past 2 weeks is that his been telling me that he doesn't feel well and he sleeps a lot, sometimes all day then he is still tired at night. so basically whenever i dont hear from him for a day or so, that is reason he gives me, that his been sleeping. he could legitimately have a virus or something. do guys get a bit distant when they are sick?

 

some of my friends think he seems like a decent guy, just taking it slow, wants to be friends first and see. nothing to be worried about. if something happens it happens.

 

but other friends think the fact that he stated he wanted to be friends, yet is still kissing me indicates he is after a fwb situation.

 

he hasn't shown signs of fading out on me. what do you guys think is happening here?

[starrynightz45]

so another update:

 

after the whole "lets be friends" thing, i barely heard from him for a couple of days and i started to let it go.

 

but then he started msging me alot and flirting with me again, its like he has split personalities. he kept asking me when can we hang out again? and tried to make plans with me but having not forgiven him from the last brush off, i told him maybe soon we'll see.

 

he has been keeping in touch with me most days during the week and he tried to invite me over one night to "keep me warm". but he said specifically that he was not gonna try to have sex with me, even though it will be hard coz im sexy but he will leave me to watch tv in peace if i came over. i cant tell if this is him being completely honest or a line to get me in bed?

 

then on friday night we hung out and he was really nice and attentive. we went out to eat then bought heaps of snacks to bring home to watch a movie, he paid for everything. then we just cuddled and kissed a bit in bed, he didnt try to sleep with me and he eventually started to fall asleep and i left.

 

another thing i noticed in the past 2 weeks is that his been telling me that he doesn't feel well and he sleeps a lot, sometimes all day then he is still tired at night. so basically whenever i dont hear from him for a day or so, that is reason he gives me, that his been sleeping. he could legitimately have a virus or something. do guys get a bit distant when they are sick?

 

some of my friends think he seems like a decent guy, just taking it slow, wants to be friends first and see. nothing to be worried about. if something happens it happens.

 

but other friends think the fact that he stated he wanted to be friends, yet is still kissing me indicates he is after a fwb situation.

 

he hasn't shown signs of fading out on me. what do you guys think is happening here?

 

 

There is a very, very easy way to find out whether or not he's actually trying to make this a FWB situation, or if he's genuinely interested in something more. DON'T sleep with him. If he's just looking for sex, he'll see you a couple more time and then give up if you don't have sex with him. If he's serious about it, then he'll continue to stay consistent and spend time with you without pushing for sex yet.

 

Keep in mind that it's very likely he could also just be a game-player type. This type of guy LOVES to come chasing after you the second you play it cool and uninterested. They simply can't stand it. All of a sudden they want to spend time with you, contact you, and see you. Then they back off again once you give them positive attention. These men are parasites, and not worth your energy.

[Leigh 87]

hahahahahaaa.

 

You're friends think he is a decent guy? That's interesting.

 

Well how far would he get if he was honest and said: I find you attractive enough to have sex with but you do not make my heart pound enough to want a relationship with you; I am not THAT into you at all, but you will do for warm body to have next to me. We can also have chats and hang out before and after sex"

 

Guys will obviously not come out and say what they really think to a girl they just want around for sex and cuddles.

 

Look if you were "it" for him and he had enough of a spark with you/and he liked your personality enough, he would have NOT ignored you or texted you less after sex in the first place.

 

So it has already been proven that he is not into you, but rather he only enjoys sex and company from you. He has spelt it out through his ACTIONS.

 

Look, there are men out there who would be DYING to spend their days with you! They would, after sex with you, still call and text you daily, they would make it very apparent that they loved their time with you and that you are important to them and that they cannot wait to see you again soon!

 

This guy is NOT one of the men who are really excited about getting to know you better and get closer to you on an emotional level.

 

Please wake up and only make yourself available for men who are really into you.

[thekid36]

so another update:

 

after the whole "lets be friends" thing, i barely heard from him for a couple of days and i started to let it go.

 

but then he started msging me alot and flirting with me again, its like he has split personalities. he kept asking me when can we hang out again? and tried to make plans with me but having not forgiven him from the last brush off, i told him maybe soon we'll see.

 

he has been keeping in touch with me most days during the week and he tried to invite me over one night to "keep me warm". but he said specifically that he was not gonna try to have sex with me, even though it will be hard coz im sexy but he will leave me to watch tv in peace if i came over. i cant tell if this is him being completely honest or a line to get me in bed?

 

then on friday night we hung out and he was really nice and attentive. we went out to eat then bought heaps of snacks to bring home to watch a movie, he paid for everything. then we just cuddled and kissed a bit in bed, he didnt try to sleep with me and he eventually started to fall asleep and i left.

 

another thing i noticed in the past 2 weeks is that his been telling me that he doesn't feel well and he sleeps a lot, sometimes all day then he is still tired at night. so basically whenever i dont hear from him for a day or so, that is reason he gives me, that his been sleeping. he could legitimately have a virus or something. do guys get a bit distant when they are sick?

 

some of my friends think he seems like a decent guy, just taking it slow, wants to be friends first and see. nothing to be worried about. if something happens it happens.

 

but other friends think the fact that he stated he wanted to be friends, yet is still kissing me indicates he is after a fwb situation.

 

he hasn't shown signs of fading out on me. what do you guys think is happening here?

 

It sounds to me like you may need to listen to Jo Jo's song "Too Little Too Late". Even though it has a soccer player in it (gulp), and even though in the video the dude flirts with another, it is still a rather perfect portrayal of some of what may be going on here.

 

Basically, he contacts you only when convenient for him. Whether it has to do with sex or not. This is no way to wander down the path of passion with anyone. If he was really into you, he would have contacted you after the initial sex in a much more timely fashion.

[giblesp]

 

After being played by a few guys now i think i'd really like to get into a serious relationship and to have someone by my side that will stay by my side.

 

I went through a stage of being played by women, usually for emotional gratitude rather than sexual.

 

I gave up looking one day, just concentrated on what I do. A relationship found me then.

 

If you do meet someone, take it slow. You'll see if he's genuine soon enough.

[giblesp]

hahahahahaaa.

 

 

 

Well how far would he get if he was honest and said: I find you attractive enough to have sex with but you do not make my heart pound enough to want a relationship with you; I am not THAT into you at all, but you will do for warm body to have next to me. We can also have chats and hang out before and after sex"

 

 

This sums up what sex outside of a relationship is.

I got to a point that when a woman would offer me free sex without commitment, I was hearing what you're saying here. Needless to say, it turned me off.

 

Have a friend who works on a holiday resort, always boasting about the number of girls he sleeps with.

 

I told him that these girls have taken one look at him and decided that he has no long term value as a husband or father, but he'd do for a quick one, before they went home to meet the right one and settle down.

 

Sorry for the digression OP.

[jbelle6]

If a guy says "don't worry, I won't try to have sex with you", it really means "I am going to try very hard to have sex with you while confusing you so I don't appear to be trying to have sex with you".

 

Let me give you an example:

 

You said that he said "you're so f-ing hot, but I am not after a one night stand...wanna drive over and watch movies...in my bed"

 

 

This guy is not a nice guy, I don't care if you call him a player or not, you were not worth the fishing trip to him, the only plans he talks about to you involve a damn tv and his bed.

 

What is with girls now days? I am not getting on you for fooling around with him, I am more frustrated that you think this boy is a friend. You are worth more than this.

 

You are worth more than going to his house, having sex then leaving. I don't know about you, but if I'm going to be making out calls like that, I'm gonna have to charge.

 

 

 

PS. And good God, no that boy does not have a virus, unless gettingtoomuchpu$$yonPOFitis is an illness???

Edited June 25, 2014 by jbelle6

[thekid36]

If a guy says "don't worry, I won't try to have sex with you", it really means "I am going to try very hard to have sex with you while confusing you so I don't appear to be trying to have sex with you".

 

Let me give you an example:

 

You said that he said "you're so f-ing hot, but I am not after a one night stand...wanna drive over and watch movies...in my bed"

 

 

This guy is not a nice guy, I don't care if you call him a player or not, you were not worth the fishing trip to him, the only plans he talks about to you involve a damn tv and his bed.

 

What is with girls now days? I am not getting on you for fooling around with him, I am more frustrated that you think this boy is a friend. You are worth more than this.

 

You are worth more than going to his house, having sex then leaving. I don't know about you, but if I'm going to be making out calls like that, I'm gonna have to charge.

 

 

 

PS. And good God, no that boy does not have a virus, unless gettingtoomuchpu$$yonPOFitis is an illness???

 

Hi, JBelle! Never heard of that specific virus you suggest.

 

Learn something new every day, I suppose.

 

At least there are some benefits of serial insomnia, right?

[lil_missy]

wow im surprised at how everyone unanimously agrees he is just using me for sex. =( guess i must be too naive.

 

only one of my friends thought he was decent but i prob didnt tell her the exact version of the story that ive told here.

 

i have had guys straight up tell me that they would love to be mates and have sex with me so i know that guys can definitely be upfront like that and not go about getting sex in a round about way. but yeh i've never had a guy go out of his way to explain how he is not trying to have sex with me, so that did throw me.

 

i do believe that i deserve much more than this, i just really felt a connection with him which is such a shame.

[thekid36]

wow im surprised at how everyone unanimously agrees he is just using me for sex. =( guess i must be too naive.

 

only one of my friends thought he was decent but i prob didnt tell her the exact version of the story that ive told here.

 

i have had guys straight up tell me that they would love to be mates and have sex with me so i know that guys can definitely be upfront like that and not go about getting sex in a round about way. but yeh i've never had a guy go out of his way to explain how he is not trying to have sex with me, so that did throw me.

 

i do believe that i deserve much more than this, i just really felt a connection with him which is such a shame.

 

I am pretty convinced that he wants you just to climb into the same bed. I am almost positive that he wants you around only when convenient on his end. And, do you really want to spend more time with someone who has such a selfish tendency?

 

No matter what is going on, someone who truly is interested in you always should try to make some time. Effort means an awful lot with some. Easy to find the time when it is there or wanted. Much more challenging when it is more limited. When you find the partner who will make the time and effort equally and unequivocally all of the time, then you know that he may just be a keeper. You deserve nothing less.

[GildedLily]

Don't let the fact that the guy will sleep with you become your self esteem, self worth, guys will sleep with most decent looking girls, and the words " your so f-n hot " shouldn't be translated into him thinking you are beautiful, rather you should hear " I want to sleep with you". If he truly thought you were beautiful he would've treated you with kid gloves, taken you out and showed you off to his friends and family. Don't be so easily flattered, if anything it's very insulting the way he treated you.