Anyone went back to their ex after NC? when is it right?

[JoeFallkon]

OK, so my girl left over a month and a week ago, i had to move out the US and she said she was miserable here she was here for 3 months, she went back to the US and i wrote to her to come back, etc, i was crushed.

 

Been on NC after she didnt reply to that text.

 

Well she s been playing those games where she only says hi, unblocks sending me a friend request. This was a week and a half ago.

 

Last night she sends me a group chat invite on a phone app we have at 2am, sends it 3 times, i ignore it Then she texts me she has a full time job now. (Ever since i met her, ibe been taking care of her, she moved in with me) I ignore her and she texts me this "Song: let it go, idina menzel"

I guess to boost up her ego after i had ignored her.

 

Well i wake u this morning and she emails me just a Hi. 7am

Her pride always gets in the way and i know she ll probably want to come back. And shell probably put her pride away, shes done that before.

 

My question is.. if she really wants to come back, when do i know the right time to break the NC?

 

Any input please..

[ProcessingThisBU]

I don't know but in other threads they say that unless it's very clear and upfront that she is coming back you should break NC. Only in that case. Because maybe she's just testing you. I would say if you're still healing, don't break NC. Stay strong.

[Alexjones1]

I don't know but in other threads they say that unless it's very clear and upfront that she is coming back you should break NC. Only in that case. Because maybe she's just testing you. I would say if you're still healing, don't break NC. Stay strong.

 

IMO I dont think the NC will help get them back but, to all people it is different.

 

What I have learned is sometimes NC is for the other person and for you also.

 

It allows things to cool off for a bit. Then allows you to become rational and non emotional.

 

My ex wanted space and time, lol, so she wanted no contact. Sure it hurt like hell but my mistake was I gave her 3 weeks of NC before I was able to get my things back, get off joint accounts, etc. Also the engagement ring.

 

So now I broke NC, to get those things tied up so some real NC can happen.

 

I feel she went NC for her own sake because our breakup came over me putting her in a very tight position and her only defense mechanism was to run and hide.

 

 

So my advice is this, if you can break no contact and actually talk to her about life in general and have no feelings of I miss you lets start a relationship, etc. Then you are ready.

 

If you would feel bad to hear her reject you then your not ready bud.

 

Best of luck!

[JoeFallkon]

I don't know but in other threads they say that unless it's very clear and upfront that she is coming back you should break NC. Only in that case. Because maybe she's just testing you. I would say if you're still healing, don't break NC. Stay strong.

 

yea. huh, its not normal her texting me 7/8 times at 2am, 5am, 7am shes getting desperate, but hi still doesnt cut it.

[JoeFallkon]

IMO I dont think the NC will help get them back but, to all people it is different.

 

What I have learned is sometimes NC is for the other person and for you also.

 

It allows things to cool off for a bit. Then allows you to become rational and non emotional.

 

My ex wanted space and time, lol, so she wanted no contact. Sure it hurt like hell but my mistake was I gave her 3 weeks of NC before I was able to get my things back, get off joint accounts, etc. Also the engagement ring.

 

So now I broke NC, to get those things tied up so some real NC can happen.

 

I feel she went NC for her own sake because our breakup came over me putting her in a very tight position and her only defense mechanism was to run and hide.

 

 

So my advice is this, if you can break no contact and actually talk to her about life in general and have no feelings of I miss you lets start a relationship, etc. Then you are ready.

 

If you would feel bad to hear her reject you then your not ready bud.

 

Best of luck!

 

I agree you get to rethink if the partner is really worth it. Sometimes you need to keep in touch.

and like your girl. mine was like that also, she never wanted to talk, shed rather walk away. literally.

i do miss her so much, and im so honest, i will tell her i miss her and ask her to come back.

so i guess im not ready.

 

thanks man..

 

 

 

 

and i would still like to hear some testimonies on couples that got back after NC.

 

thank you

[JoeFallkon]

Oh, forgot to add that my one of my closest friends texted me saying my ex sent a friends request today in the afternoon too, but i told him not to accept, Im sure she would try asking him about me. i mean i would love that, but that would kinda mess up the NC .. right?

[Elle1975]

yea. huh, its not normal her texting me 7/8 times at 2am, 5am, 7am shes getting desperate, but hi still doesnt cut it.

 

No kidding.

 

What the heck is that. You don't text someone in the middle of the night. She knows about the different time zones. It's disrespectful.

 

A monkey could type Hi, provided you fed him enough mangos. You really want something more than that.

[JoeFallkon]

No kidding.

 

What the heck is that. You don't text someone in the middle of the night. She knows about the different time zones. It's disrespectful.

 

A monkey could type Hi, provided you fed him enough mangos. You really want something more than that.

 

yeah. and just saw on an app she sent me an "I miss you" and and a "i still love you". 5am. im gonna keep ignoring it, cuz i know she was probably just drunk texting.

[JoeFallkon]

Ok so.today I wake up and she added me on google+ saying " i love you babe.

Then in an app we bothe have for free messages and calls, she sent a text saying. Hello and also left a link to a song. "we belong together by Mariah Carey" its gettin closer . I feel she's getting desperate.

Not breaking nc yet.

[BroknHrt]

you are playing this perfectly. If only i could of done what you did haha

[JoeFallkon]

It's been so hard. I wanna tell her what she wants to get at with all these texts and song dedication, butiimma just let her do it on her own...dqmn. I miss her

[toolforgrowth]

It's been so hard. I wanna tell her what she wants to get at with all these texts and song dedication, butiimma just let her do it on her own...dqmn. I miss her

 

Perfect. Let her get there on her own. You're already aware that nothing she is saying is really anything substantial. She tells you she loves you, you tell her she loves you back, she goes "Okay, he still loves me" and disappears.

 

Even then, if she literally begs to get you back, and you do decide to go back, she could just as easily want things to be over right afterward.

 

You've got the power right now. Enjoy it. You're setting your terms of what you are willing to accept, and more importantly, what you're NOT willing to accept. Keep it up.

[JoeFallkon]

Perfect. Let her get there on her own. You're already aware that nothing she is saying is really anything substantial. She tells you she loves you, you tell her she loves you back, she goes "Okay, he still loves me" and disappears.

 

Even then, if she literally begs to get you back, and you do decide to go back, she could just as easily want things to be over right afterward.

 

You've got the power right now. Enjoy it. You're setting your terms of what you are willing to accept, and more importantly, what you're NOT willing to accept. Keep it up.

 

It went from "hi" one week to nothn the next, then the following week tried chatting with me, to a I love you and miss you, now just gotta wait for that long email saying that shes sorry, which i know is coming. She did a lot of pretty bad things to me, but i do love her so much. i know she needs me. All she has is lo life friends. I just hope she doesnt get tired of me ignoring her and quits trying to contact me.And if she does come back, which im pretty sure she will try, there are gonna be a few conditions.

 

Thanks , this site is helping me stay strong..

[JoeFallkon]

update.

So my friend texts me. asks me to call him, so i do.

Says my ex hit him up on a dating site, asks him if he still talks to me and we havent, so he tells her that.

She asks him to see him or to be friends, then she sends him naked pics, off course with no face. Then she starts talking crap about me.

 

 

 

She had done it before with another friend 2 weeks ago, she texted me and i ignored her , so she asked this other fnd if i was ok when he told her yeah, She tells him oh, cus i was affraid he would commit suicide after i left. She added this to boost her ego.

 

She s doing all this to get my attention so i can text her. But this is too much. and im still strong.

[leavesonautumn]

update.

So my friend texts me. asks me to call him, so i do.

Says my ex hit him up on a dating site, asks him if he still talks to me and we havent, so he tells her that.

She asks him to see him or to be friends, then she sends him naked pics, off course with no face. Then she starts talking crap about me.

 

 

 

She had done it before with another friend 2 weeks ago, she texted me and i ignored her , so she asked this other fnd if i was ok when he told her yeah, She tells him oh, cus i was affraid he would commit suicide after i left. She added this to boost her ego.

 

WOW, she is really trying hard to get your attention. Good on you for ignoring her. It's hard to really comprehend why people do these things. Maybe we aren't supposed to. Focusing on it or asking why why why will drive us crazy. Tell your friends to ignore her and to not even tell you when she's texting or messaging them. With time you will see that you don't want her back, she's immature and proving it without having to do much.

 

Why don't you block her texts and emails? That way you get to control when she contacts you. Trust me, when the emails and texts die off you will notice and wonder why she isn't doing it anymore. I went through something similar and would have a feeling of being relieved when I got some little form of contact from my ex during any of our break ups and feel happy for about a week and then feel depressed when I don't hear from him for another month.

[Simon Phoenix]

update.

So my friend texts me. asks me to call him, so i do.

Says my ex hit him up on a dating site, asks him if he still talks to me and we havent, so he tells her that.

She asks him to see him or to be friends, then she sends him naked pics, off course with no face. Then she starts talking crap about me.

 

 

 

She had done it before with another friend 2 weeks ago, she texted me and i ignored her , so she asked this other fnd if i was ok when he told her yeah, She tells him oh, cus i was affraid he would commit suicide after i left. She added this to boost her ego.

 

She s doing all this to get my attention so i can text her. But this is too much. and im still strong.

 

Her sending naked pictures to a friend would be game over for me. No way could I take her seriously as a romantic partner after that.

[JoeFallkon]

Yea. She's goin nuts. I did tell my friend to ignore her. She's fckn with my head. But I know she's goin through this worst. That's why she s doin this.

My dad just told me she made a facebook page with my name and is adding my friends on it. I don't have one anymore..

This is gettin out of control. I.wonder what she d do next

[Simon Phoenix]

Yea. She's goin nuts. I did tell my friend to ignore her. She's fckn with my head. But I know she's goin through this worst. That's why she s doin this.

My dad just told me she made a facebook page with my name and is adding my friends on it. I don't have one anymore..

This is gettin out of control. I.wonder what she d do next

 

You need to stop paying attention to it. Wondering about this doesn't do you a bit of good.

[JoeFallkon]

yeah, i know. its like my day / week is goin well, and then she pull something like this.

i wish she just wrote to me and told me what the heck she wanted. instead of goin around tryin to trick my friends and i so i can text her first and be the one chasing.

i just dont understand what is it she wants? she wants to get back at me it seems, but damn.. she s the one that left.

[Simon Phoenix]

yeah, i know. its like my day / week is goin well, and then she pull something like this.

i wish she just wrote to me and told me what the heck she wanted. instead of goin around tryin to trick my friends and i so i can text her first and be the one chasing.

i just dont understand what is it she wants? she wants to get back at me it seems, but damn.. she s the one that left.

 

Stop trying to figure out what another person is thinking! That's one of the biggest wastes of time on this Earth. If it was remotely important, she'd tell you herself. Honestly, you need to stop trying to figure her out. Unless she comes directly to you, then there's nothing to figure out.

 

Stop mindf--king yourself!

[sly_fly1]

well i can tell you, i got my gf back, and i went threw a night mare of BS and hell and all sorts of none sense, i had to bite the bullet and forgive her for all the BS, AND how bad she treated me, i thought it was impossible, but i did it, i got her back after 6 painful stressful months of hell. and getting her back was harder then the initial break up ill tell you that.

 

when she comes back., you will know. she wont give you bread crumbs. she will call you crying balling her eyes out telling you that nothing happend the way she planned.

 

im back with mine, i love her, but something is missing in our new relationship, i am not sure if it is trust. or if trauma has anything to do with it. but when i look at my gf now, the girl i would have given the world for. i see her with a piece of glass in between us. its hard to explain. like in a museum. you can view , love , admire all the exhibits. but you can never get close and touch the way you want to.

 

are you sure you really want her. women do have fangs and these fangs contain venom, they dont call them man eaters for nothing.

[JoeFallkon]

Stop trying to figure out what another person is thinking! That's one of the biggest wastes of time on this Earth. If it was remotely important, she'd tell you herself. Honestly, you need to stop trying to figure her out. Unless she comes directly to you, then there's nothing to figure out.

 

Stop mindf--king yourself!

 

yeah man.. im tryin but its hell to try. shes bad with words and she doesn't now how to express herself. but damn. if shes writing me texts and sending me song links in the am, she has to try..

[JoeFallkon]

well i can tell you, i got my gf back, and i went threw a night mare of BS and hell and all sorts of none sense, i had to bite the bullet and forgive her for all the BS, AND how bad she treated me, i thought it was impossible, but i did it, i got her back after 6 painful stressful months of hell. and getting her back was harder then the initial break up ill tell you that.

 

when she comes back., you will know. she wont give you bread crumbs. she will call you crying balling her eyes out telling you that nothing happend the way she planned.

 

im back with mine, i love her, but something is missing in our new relationship, i am not sure if it is trust. or if trauma has anything to do with it. but when i look at my gf now, the girl i would have given the world for. i see her with a piece of glass in between us. its hard to explain. like in a museum. you can view , love , admire all the exhibits. but you can never get close and touch the way you want to.

 

are you sure you really want her. women do have fangs and these fangs contain venom, they dont call them man eaters for nothing.

 

I know what u mean man. its like youre with her, but youre walkin on egg shells. and if she ever mentions another guy or somtn like that, its like you cant trust her.

im a lil doubtful now when she keeps texting, but if a day or 2 goes by and she doesn't, I start missing her like crazy.

 

im afraid that if I get her back, shes never gonna change. we ve been apart once. got back together and she did a lot of sht to me. she brought a notebook with her when she moved in with me last time. and she wrote how sorry she was, how I was her only family, how I was the only guy that ever went with her and waited when I took her to the hospital 3/4 times. I got close to her neighbor, I still talk to her, she said when I went away the first time. she used to cry all day. and she was worried about her, so I know she does love me. its just like when she has me, she just knows im gonna stick around and she starts doin ****.

 

how did it go with you?? did she ever say sorry?

[sly_fly1]

I know what u mean man. its like youre with her, but youre walkin on egg shells. and if she ever mentions another guy or somtn like that, its like you cant trust her.

im a lil doubtful now when she keeps texting, but if a day or 2 goes by and she doesn't, I start missing her like crazy.

 

im afraid that if I get her back, shes never gonna change. we ve been apart once. got back together and she did a lot of sht to me. she brought a notebook with her when she moved in with me last time. and she wrote how sorry she was, how I was her only family, how I was the only guy that ever went with her and waited when I took her to the hospital 3/4 times. I got close to her neighbor, I still talk to her, she said when I went away the first time. she used to cry all day. and she was worried about her, so I know she does love me. its just like when she has me, she just knows im gonna stick around and she starts doin ****.

 

how did it go with you?? did she ever say sorry?

 

ill put it in foot notes

 

-last two months she ditched me everyday

- then she ended things

-started seeing someone else

- i was devestated

apart for 4 months getting bread crumbs every few days( i think i made a mistake, i miss you, im yours blah blah)

we would even hang out here are then n i would sleep over but no kissing or sex or nothing, just heart ache n awkwardness

-she was still with the guy she left me for

-everytime i tried to move on she would real me back in

-i started seeing other women to forget about how my perfect life suddenly got destroyed by this guy and my gf who suddenly left me for him

- i slept with girls but nothing would ease the pain,

finally she reeled me in one last time

- and said sorry im with him now,

i never replied back

a month went by and i got a random text

saying " i left him, want to hang out, ill wait for you"

i never replied back.

he beat her up

-i got another text the next day

it was new years eve

we counted down and kissed

 

 

things got more messed up the next 2 months. i thought we were working on things, but i was still hurt from her leaving me for him, and she , well she was just not herself, she was like a hurricane after math.

- i read her texts because we were then hanging out once or twice a week,

i saw that she was still hanging out with the guy she left me for,

-so i ended it and she new she messed up bad that time

because she hid, she hid from her family friends and child, and just went dark from everyone

 

for a few days

 

then i got a phone call and she was screaming and crying , i have never herd a women cry so hard in mylife,

 

the night before i wished she would get into a car accident because iwas so mad

 

the next day she did.

 

thats why she called me,

 

because through all the BS she put me through, i was always there no matter what, even when we were apart, even when she ignored my calls, even tho she left me for someone else. everytime something went wrong, who was there , ME, ME ME ME ME ME, every damb day or week or month, i was there

 

i loved her so so so much and our little family i fought so hard i would have died to get my relationship back(if it were possible)

 

and thats when i got my appology.

 

when i picked her up from the car ripped in half.

 

she couldnt even look me in the eyes

 

i sat there in my car silent. i didnt know what to say, i was so heart, but seeing her cry just broke my heart, i couldnt hurt her the way she hurt me,. revenge didnt matter, its just who i am , i cant hurt someone i love,

 

so i listened

 

she said" look, i am a coward, i know what i did, i know i hurt you, i new the whole time i was hurting you. i know i pplayed games with you, i strang you along. and constantly ripped your heart out. i put you through hell, and i made the hugest mistake,. what we had was so great, and i messed up and through it all out the window. i dont even know why i left you for him, i just did, it was either yes or no, and i chose yes, and i know you dont trust me, i know you may never, i dont even know if you want this, but i told even my parents i made the worst mistake in my life, my daughter, our daughter loves you. i said, how could you call her my daughter(my step daughter) when you just take her away and give her to another man you hardly know" she siad she knew she ****ed up , she was crying so hard all the blood vessles in her face broke, she gave me excuses why she left me, but i know they werent good enouph, the last excuse she gave me was that she started liking him and that was that, i told her that you cant leave someone you love for someone you like, and she cried saying now she realized it, there was much more said and appologized for, but thats the most i can remember,

 

so now i stopped chasing her, this is where the glass window comes in,

 

i love her, i want her,

 

but i am not sure if she is mine anymore, i am not sure what is in the mind that i new better than anyone else

 

its been about 4 or 5 months later.

 

we slowly have been getting closer and closer again

 

we have only had sex about 6 times in the past 5 months, i do not go to her house,

 

she rarley comes to mine, but we see eachother everyday and are starting to laugh more and become more and more comfortable

 

we now kiss more and she tries to hold me and its like we were when we first met, except the lingering betrayal,

 

im trying my hardest to let go, i am just afraid to invest more in someone who could up and leave

 

but i have a feeling she learnt her lesson, but the that i am un easy about is that she wont tell people we are seeing eachother again, she just wants them to figure it out on their own.

 

so yes i might sound pathetic taking back this girl who completley treated me like crap. put me through hell, walked all over me and acted like she didnt care

 

i am not sure if all women go through this, but my last 2 gfs did the same thiing. but i didnt fight for them like i did this one, i let the other to go and moved on.

 

right now i think me and my gf will work out. but im just waiting for the glass to get shattered, for me and her to be us again.

 

it takes time, and i still will never know what happend to my gf, i will never know the over whelming feeling of not being able to say no to another woman like she did, but karma got her, she got beat up by this man more than once and she got into a car accident and she lost respect from her family, my family and her friends. my friends ask me why i took her back, i cant eplain because they wont understand

 

but sometimes when you know its true love, nothing else seems to matter, not even this stuff she put me through, all that matters was me and her and our daughters

 

please dont judge me, i just did wat i thought was best and worth saving, and if i cant turn time and make things like they used to be, i will do it

 

sorry for the bad spelling aswell, i typed this fast

[sly_fly1]

oh n by the way, out relationship was picture perfect before any of this **** happend, never argued, loved eachother, wasnt until my gf started hanging out with this girl who is a snobb, then the guy my gf left me for was this snobby chicks bfs friend, this snobby chick hates me for no reason to, i have only met her once, but i feel lke she has somethingt o do with out break up