pablosantos Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 Just looking for advise. I got chatting to a girl last week, we've exchanged numbers (I asked) and we've been texting ever since. She asked me out on a date on Friday and we're due to go out on Tuesday evening. Whilst a date is just a date...we have spent a lot of time talking about the future, talked about sex and what we enjoy, when she'll spend time at mine, she even googles to find out how long it will take to get to work from roughly mine, amongst countless other things. It all seems a bit too good to be true or am I being negative??? Comments most welcome... Thanks you...
rocketman122 Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 Just looking for advise. I got chatting to a girl last week, we've exchanged numbers (I asked) and we've been texting ever since. She asked me out on a date on Friday and we're due to go out on Tuesday evening. Whilst a date is just a date...we have spent a lot of time talking about the future, talked about sex and what we enjoy, when she'll spend time at mine, she even googles to find out how long it will take to get to work from roughly mine, amongst countless other things. It all seems a bit too good to be true or am I being negative??? Comments most welcome... Thanks you... slow down man. you didnt even meet for a date. you didnt talk on the phone? u said text. people who cant pick up the phone and talk are not go getter imo. I prefer the phone for text only because hearing a persons voice can tell me much more and to me thats more intimate. in text you have time to fix your first thoughts and make it sound perfect but on the phone its with your guard down. 4
Targetlock Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 Yeah slow it down one thing at a time, though it can be hard sometimes not to just head first into these things, but you got to be careful otherwise you might nose dive! good luck
Author pablosantos Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 (edited) I should point out that most of the conversation has been done by her, which I've been going along with...It just seems she's very keen, which worries me, is she a bunny boiler, just a tease and has no real interest or is she actually genuine? Edited June 9, 2014 by pablosantos Additional Information
PegNosePete Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 At this stage "she" could be a fat guy in his 50's or a group of giggling schoolgirls seeing if they can fool someone. Nothing is real until you MEET. Don't get attached until you MEET... 4
Author pablosantos Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 Agreed Pegnosepete...but have done a bit of detective work to put my mind at ease regarding a potential "catfish" situation and it would be a very grand story if she's not who she is...
Author pablosantos Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 Despite all the initial interest, she was ill the night we were due to go out, so she rearranged for Friday, and I think she's having cold feet about that now, even though she said had "we can see each other Friday and if we get on Saturday too" Sometime life is so complicated...
starla33 Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Just looking for advise. I got chatting to a girl last week, we've exchanged numbers (I asked) and we've been texting ever since. She asked me out on a date on Friday and we're due to go out on Tuesday evening. Whilst a date is just a date...we have spent a lot of time talking about the future, talked about sex and what we enjoy, when she'll spend time at mine, she even googles to find out how long it will take to get to work from roughly mine, amongst countless other things. It all seems a bit too good to be true or am I being negative??? Comments most welcome... Thanks you... Wow you don't even know this person! She could be completely unattractive to you when you meet. I'm not sure why you are even wasting your breath on this. Chat for a bit, meet, most likely it doesn't work out in person chemistry most of the time....
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 (edited) Listen, there are pros and cons to doing the OLD thing. Unfortunately, thanks to the anonymity that the internet provides, creating fake profiles and "catfishing" innocent people for sh*ts and giggles has become somewhat of a common thing these days. Having said that, there are some very legitimate and genuine people online who want to meet someone special who are also looking for the same. You can't participate in OLD with a negative attitude and a chip on your shoulder because that won't get you anywhere fast. You do however, need to always tread carefully, take things slow, not be afraid to ask questions and understand that this world isn't the end all be all of dating. Having a sense of humor whilst navigating the hallowed halls of OLD is PARAMOUNT so as not to take the site, the people and yourself too seriously. Let the people you meet prove themselves to you before getting all wrapped in them. As far as this girl you're texting with, I'd believe it if/when she actually sets and shows up for a date. Until then, "she" could be some 300-lb shut-in whose still living with their parents in the basement (hopefully not but you never know). If I were you, I'd get on the phone with this chick and have a REAL conversation. I know that seems completely foreign to young adults these days but you'll have to TALK and carry a conversation if you meet in person one day. Why put it off? Also, I wouldn't drag this out much longer. Set another date and if she blows that one off too, be done with her. She's not looking for a romantic relationship but rather a pen pal. Unless that's something you want as well, cut her loose and move on. Good luck. Edited June 12, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle
Author pablosantos Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 Thanks Michelle ma Belle, the silly thing is I agree with everything you're saying. I have checked for a catfish situation, by doing a reverse picture search on Google, it all came up fine and gave me a few other sites to clarify that she was who she says she was. I agree with the penpal thing, but with someone saying "on paper you're exactly what I want, but it scares me" it scares her because "I might not be what she expects. Oh and her profile basically says "I know what I like and I wont be wasting anyones time" So really confusing...and maybe time for a call later and see where it goes...
J21 Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 (edited) Lol dude dont build it up so much in your head. Even if she is initiating all that "intimate talk", you gotta deflect it and bring the conversation back to earth. You dont know this person, and getting carried away doesn't really have any pros. Save all that intimate stuff for when you actually meet. You may have zero physical attraction to her in person and/or vice versa. If you both have physical attraction to one another, thats great, go forward with whatever blossoms naturally. But at least you didn't bring up doing intimate things and then having to back out because expectations were not met from either or both sides. Ps did u give her your address? What is she googling how long it will take to get from where? Edited June 12, 2014 by J21
Author pablosantos Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 I just what part of the city in live in, nothing specific...she was just working out how long it would take to get from her work to my "area" in the evenings...
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Thanks Michelle ma Belle, the silly thing is I agree with everything you're saying. I have checked for a catfish situation, by doing a reverse picture search on Google, it all came up fine and gave me a few other sites to clarify that she was who she says she was. I agree with the penpal thing, but with someone saying "on paper you're exactly what I want, but it scares me" it scares her because "I might not be what she expects. Oh and her profile basically says "I know what I like and I wont be wasting anyones time" So really confusing...and maybe time for a call later and see where it goes... I'm glad to hear you're doing your homework on her BUT be please be aware that not all pictures will result in hits. Catfish trolls have become VERY savvy these days and will often steal pictures of everyday people doing everyday things from open Facebook accounts or My Space or any other social media channels where there is full access. Happens ALL the time. Those pictures will show up as "0 Results" because they ARE real but belong to someone else. Usually it's pictures taken from online catalogs and websites that yield results. Don't use the reverse image search as a barometer of authenticity.
Gaeta Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 With time you will understand that: 1. Online is a place to make contact, not to connect. 2. Till you meet face to fact it's just talk and it means nothing 3. People talking sex preferences before having met you are not serious, no matter what they say. 4. The biggest problem with online is not people lying to you, but people lying to themselves. Happy online hunting. 2
Author pablosantos Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 I'm glad to hear you're doing your homework on her BUT be please be aware that not all pictures will result in hits. Catfish trolls have become VERY savvy these days and will often steal pictures of everyday people doing everyday things from open Facebook accounts or My Space or any other social media channels where there is full access. Happens ALL the time. Those pictures will show up as "0 Results" because they ARE real but belong to someone else. Usually it's pictures taken from online catalogs and websites that yield results. Don't use the reverse image search as a barometer of authenticity. She has also sent me other pictures from her phone, which don't appear anywhere on the internet...so, maybe real???
normal person Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Just don't idealize her in your head before you meet. People are rarely as you expect them to be (sometimes better, sometimes worse, but usually always different). So maybe tap the brakes on all the intimate stuff and just see if you like each other first. You never know until you meet them in person. Try Skyping or FaceTiming if you're that worried about it.
J21 Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 She has also sent me other pictures from her phone, which don't appear anywhere on the internet...so, maybe real??? Are you saying you can find every single picture on the internet? Its as if you are saying: If I cant find the picture on the internet, its gotta be real. Thats your barometer of testing? Relax man, we're not saying u are or arent getting cat fished. Just meet her first before concluding anything. Why would she need a thicker skin for OLDing if it's the SAME as dating IRL? Because online you can meet 10s of people in a very short period. You need to be able to process rejection and disappointments quite fast. If you limit yourself to meeting face to face you won't be having dates at that speed, maybe 1 date per 6 months? What's the average of people you meet when you only meet face to face? So if you meet 1 person per 6 months and it's a flop that's 1 flop to process per 6 months. Online is the same BS as in face to face, it's just very concentrated in a very short time. anything? We are just trying to give u advice.
PegNosePete Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Maybe real, maybe not, there's only 1 way to find out for sure.
J21 Posted June 12, 2014 Posted June 12, 2014 Are you saying you can find every single picture on the internet? Its as if you are saying: If I cant find the picture on the internet, its gotta be real. Thats your barometer of testing? Relax man, we're not saying u are or arent getting cat fished. Just meet her first before concluding anything. anything? We are just trying to give u advice. Disregard that last part. I have no idea how that got there lol
Author pablosantos Posted June 15, 2014 Author Posted June 15, 2014 Well, the date happened and she was exactly as described. I think we had a great time...although we haven't made a date, she seems to what see me again
Author pablosantos Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 Thanks...we're supposed to be going for something to eat together Wednesday 1
Author pablosantos Posted June 16, 2014 Author Posted June 16, 2014 Should it bother me she was online a lot yesterday?
PegNosePete Posted June 16, 2014 Posted June 16, 2014 How do you know she has been online a lot? Have you been online a lot checking up on her? Maybe she is thinking the same about you. Stop stalking her. You've met ONCE. That does not mean she is ready to settle down, get married and have kids yet.
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