MrGuy Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 So my girlfriend has a very low self esteem, it's been like this ever since i met her. She always hated her chest size and always talked about wanting implants. Let me make it clear that I'm am against this and I never want her to get bigger boobs, I love the way she is. However, I do like big boobs but it doesnt mean i want her to change i prefer her the way she is. My question is, is it ok to still like big boobs?
Million.to.1 Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 (edited) does she know that you like/prefer big boobs? have you ever said this casually to her? you can prefer big boobs... but you would be a bit of a dick to let someone you are with with small boobs who is insecure about them know your preference is not what they possess. you may like her the way she is... but if she is insecure about herself and knows you prefer what she doesn't have, then yes, it's problematic. her insecurity is the problem. but you need to be sensitive about it in order to help her overcome it. ... and if she really wants implants and always has... you should be supportive. If she is getting them to please your preference... then it's an unhealthy choice to make. sounds to me like you are feeling guilty because she wants them and she knows it's what you would prefer her to have, but because it require surgery and money and her changing you want to pretend like its all her decision. Edited June 8, 2014 by Million.to.1 2
Author MrGuy Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 I haven't directly told her that i like big boobs, but i'm very sure she knows that i do like them. I often say I don't really care about big boobs which is some what of a lie since i do like them but at the same time i really don't care that much, and I wouldn't want her to change her size.
Million.to.1 Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Well, let's explore the real issue here. Why don't you want her to get implants if that's what she wants? 1
lollipopspot Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 but i'm very sure she knows that i do like them Why would she be very sure? What kinds of things have you said that would indicate that?
Author MrGuy Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 The God honest truth is I seriously love the way she is, i think her body is perfect and that it doesn't need any changes.
Million.to.1 Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 so... you lie to here and say you don't care, but she probably knows you do? Um, yes. of course she knows. You lying to her about it probably makes her WAY more insecure about it too. 2
Author MrGuy Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 Why would she be very sure? What kinds of things have you said that would indicate that? Was hoping someone wouldn't ask me that... but ok. If i ever make a female character on a game or w/e i often make the chest size big, this bothers her. Before it didn't as much but now it's been bothering her so much she gets very mad. Eventually i just stopped making female characters over all. I'm very sure that's how and why she knew i liked big breasts
Author MrGuy Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 so... you lie to here and say you don't care, but she probably knows you do? Um, yes. of course she knows. You lying to her about it probably makes her WAY more insecure about it too. So i should be up front and let her know that i do like big breasts?
lollipopspot Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Curious - do you know what her bra size is? (Asking because I'm wondering if she thinks she should look like a cartoon character, or if she is truly much smaller than average)
lollipopspot Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Well, that's definitely smaller than average. I can see why she might feel self conscious, only because it's different. However, I hope she doesn't do it, because there are real health risks, and I think a healthy body is vastly more important than a bigger chested body. I hope that you are able to convince her that at least you like her the way that she is. 1
Author MrGuy Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 Well, that's definitely smaller than average. I can see why she might feel self conscious, only because it's different. However, I hope she doesn't do it, because there are real health risks, and I think a healthy body is vastly more important than a bigger chested body. I hope that you are able to convince her that at least you like her the way that she is. I have to say that it's pretty much impossible. I really don't think she believes that i prefer her to stay they way she is. I have told her for the past years that i don't want her to get implants ever. But she still wants them, she has said that she wants them for herself and for me. So she would feel more confident in herself, so i feel bad b/c I'm sure it would make her happy. But I don't think i could ever support her getting implants it isnt right
lollipopspot Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 But I don't think i could ever support her getting implants it isnt right What do you think isn't right about it?
Author MrGuy Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 What do you think isn't right about it? she's changing her body or at least part of it, but it bothers me b/c I just love how she looks, feel different if she altered it. Am I wrong for wanting her to be how she has always been?
lollipopspot Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 she's changing her body or at least part of it, but it bothers me b/c I just love how she looks, feel different if she altered it. Am I wrong for wanting her to be how she has always been? You're saying you think it isn't right because you like it how it is now. So it's not some ethical or health reason, it sounds like you just don't think it's necessary (so not a "right/wrong," just "unnecessary.") It's not wrong for not wanting her to change herself. But ultimately it will be her decision, and I'm sure you'll grow to like the new body too, if she does it. I think you should just be very honest with her. I mean, I think you could show her this thread. I actually do understand your reasoning. You have a preference in the abstract, but when you're actually looking at your girlfriend, she's the one you want, as-is. I feel the same about my guy. There are several things I would not choose "on paper." But I like him just as he is. 2
MuddyFootprints Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 I still get teased about my lack of boob-age, but I do get to have the last laugh. Once upon a time ago I was made to feel that I had less sex appeal due to my lack of curves. Certain people in my life encouraged implants, but I couldn't rationalize it. Now, my body is aging and even after nursing 3 kids, I have to admit to a little gloating about my 'perkiness'.
Author MrGuy Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 You're saying you think it isn't right because you like it how it is now. So it's not some ethical or health reason, it sounds like you just don't think it's necessary (so not a "right/wrong," just "unnecessary.") It's not wrong for not wanting her to change herself. But ultimately it will be her decision, and I'm sure you'll grow to like the new body too, if she does it. I think you should just be very honest with her. I mean, I think you could show her this thread. I actually do understand your reasoning. You have a preference in the abstract, but when you're actually looking at your girlfriend, she's the one you want, as-is. I feel the same about my guy. There are several things I would not choose "on paper." But I like him just as he is. I'm afraid of being very honest with her because every time I try to be honest she gets more then upset. She gets furious and just doesn't want to talk to me, which usually ends in a very hostile day. I don't know it's not enjoyable to go through.
todreaminblue Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 I have had big boobs since ten , i used to wear bandages strap them down, i dont think they liked that, I told my mum i was going for a breast reduction and have them cut off, i have since come to accept them, my exes looked at me like i was crazy when i told them i had always envisioned em having a breast reduction when i lose weight they stand out more.I guess i could strap them again ,but as i said not this time, ill bear supportive barbed wire bras and keep my breasts or find a guy fond of holding weighty things as well who appreciates them for what they are and or finds beauty in mountains .. the point being, i cant cut off what i have to please another certainly not myself, so i can run faster and farther away from whatever i am runnign from ...mainly guys who see only breasts there are many enhancing and minimizing bras that can be worn if you truly love your gf would you want her to have that risk of life to supposedly enhance a god given gift.The infections alone that can be had after or post surgery should be enough to make you consider this carefully. buy her pretty lingerie and celebrate what god gave her love her and let her feel it.
Author MrGuy Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 I have had big boobs since ten , i used to wear bandages strap them down, i dont think they liked that, I told my mum i was going for a breast reduction and have them cut off, i have since come to accept them, my exes looked at me like i was crazy when i told them i had always envisioned em having a breast reduction when i lose weight they stand out more.I guess i could strap them again ,but as i said not this time, ill bear supportive barbed wire bras and keep my breasts or find a guy fond of holding weighty things as well who appreciates them for what they are and or finds beauty in mountains .. the point being, i cant cut off what i have to please another certainly not myself, so i can run faster and farther away from whatever i am runnign from ...mainly guys who see only breasts there are many enhancing and minimizing bras that can be worn if you truly love your gf would you want her to have that risk of life to supposedly enhance a god given gift.The infections alone that can be had after or post surgery should be enough to make you consider this carefully. buy her pretty lingerie and celebrate what god gave her love her and let her feel it. I'm a little confused on what you said, I'm a little slow maybe. But it sounds like you think i want her to get implants which i don't. I'm just saying i like big breasts BUT i don't want them for her. Sorry if i misunderstood you.
MidwestUSA Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 I'm a little confused on what you said, I'm a little slow maybe. But it sounds like you think i want her to get implants which i don't. I'm just saying i like big breasts BUT i don't want them for her. Sorry if i misunderstood you. I think she's saying it's a decision to be made very carefully if your gf wants to get them. She's not encouraging getting them, but rather enhancing what she has in other ways. Personally, I think the hottest look for small boobs is a tank top. Tank top and boy shorts. Enhancing bras are just plain uncomfortable.
Author MrGuy Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 Well i told her how i felt about breast size and i told her that i wouldn't want to change hers because i love the way she is. She's upset, crying, and doesn't believe that I love her the way she is.
lollipopspot Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 Well i told her how i felt about breast size and i told her that i wouldn't want to change hers because i love the way she is. She's upset, crying, and doesn't believe that I love her the way she is. Well, what does she want to do about it? Does she think that you'll love her more with a larger chest? Then won't she just feel that you love her for her chest? Maybe tell her to get on here and make her own thread and people can talk to her directly. I understand feeling 'different' and that someone might be more into you if you had different features, but she could also sabotage the relationship because of her own insecurities.
Author MrGuy Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 She wont, she'll be even more upset if she found out I wrote about this. As of now she's thinking of not even wanting to be with me. She can be very... extreme when she gets upset. Yea...
Million.to.1 Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 This probably isn't just you... she was probably teased at school for having a flat chest and has experienced feelings of inadequacy with other BF's in the past. This has all built up and now she will never feel they are good enough for anybody. Unfortunately, us women live in a world where appearance dominates every other quality we may posses. It's really hard to deal with sometimes. You creating game characters with huge tits probably didn't help either. Just a interesting fact : 75% of all females that commit suicide have had some type of plastic surgery in their lives. Kinda shows you that if you are inherently unhappy with yourself, and blaming your lips or your boobs or whatever.... fixing it, doesn't really fix the real underlying issue. You GF needs professional help. 1
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