OhNoNotAgain Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 (edited) So I just broke NC, and I thought I'd post my experience here for everyone to learn from. Me and my ex were together for 8 months, and I have been in NC for 10 weeks since we broke up. She went into a rebound relationship almost immediately. We met online, and I noticed her profile go up and down periodically, so I knew there was trouble with the rebound. In the past few days her profile has been up in full force. So I knew the rebound was over, and that now was my only chance. I also may have to move soon, so part of me had to know if there was anything still there, before I could commit to leaving this town. Part of me has held out hope that she would come back. And I wanted her to know I might be leaving in case she still had any feelings for me. I knew it was now or never. I either message her now and deal with the consequences, or wonder for the rest of my life what would have happened. At least knew she wasn't with a guy, so I wouldn't have to deal with her telling me she was in love with someone else. So I did it. I messaged her on the site and asked if she wanted to hang out some time. I knew there was little hope, and that I was probably in for some pain, but I had to. I had been obsessively looking at her profile, and I thought I had to message her to break the cycle. Or I would be consumed by it. She wrote back pretty quickly. And it was what I expected. She only wants to be friends, and thinks it would hurt us too much to hang out. I won't lie. I've had a really rough weekend, and this ripped open a lot of wounds. I'm very sad and can't eat, and I've been crying for about 24 hrs straight. But I still think I made the right decision. I had to know, even though I am in so much pain right now. I think in the long run it would be worse to wonder. Now I know there is nothing left for me here. But I took the opportunity to write her back a long letter to tell her I'm probably moving, and I had to reach out to her first. I was completely honest about my feeling towards her since the breakup, and how much she meant to me. I know everyone says not to, but I don't care. I want her to know how I feel. It doesn't matter anymore, why not be truthful with someone about how much they meant to you. So in my short experience since doing this, you are in for a lot of pain. But it might be worth it in order to get your feelings out. I think it's something that will delay my healing, but will help me with closure. I think I made the right decision. I haven't heard back since I wrote this letter, but I'm sure there's something coming. And I'm sure it's going to be very hard to read. Any cheering up is welcomed since I have no one to talk to about this. Edited June 9, 2014 by OhNoNotAgain 1
drmrid13 Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 Hey, don't feel bad about telling your ex how you feel. I agree, it is best to communicate your feelings, as opposed to holding them inside. I think we are conditioned to hold our feelings in...and you really did not have anything to lose but some sort of sense of pride (which I have found to be false and overrated). Your ex assuredly still thinks about you and still loves you, but our world is full of situations that force us to move on-take these as opportunities for personal growth. I am sad to hear that you are in tears and can't eat. I have been in the same place many times. Work on yourself, work on your sense of worth, because I am sure you are an amazing person. I think our vulnerabilities are our strengths; don't ever compromise who your are because you feel like you may be doing the wrong thing by following your heart. It may seem cheesy, but you will find someone who is right for you. This person may not present themselves as someone you would "expect," but I am sure you will find love when it is right. Best to you!
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