The mysterious case of the Ex bf

[biddybud]

Hi guys and dolls,

 

I thought I'd post an update upon my sad little tale, which in the past 2 months has turned into a lovely tale of getting over horrid circumstances and triumphing against it... Hurrah!

 

So I finished my dissertation, got my MSc with a merit and have been celebrating much. However one thing that has knocked me back a little is that I was totally unaware that even if you block a person (the awful ex) on. Twitter, they can still see it. Which sucks. I ousted about my qualifying in my field and that many celebrations were to be had, that I am truly thankful to those beautiful people around me and that I am looking forward to getting my job in my chosen career, after wokring for 4 long years to achieve it.

 

Then bam.... I recieved an email last night from him stating "I assume you have finished your course. So congrats!". It felt like I was punched in the stomach. 3 months of no contact and that's what I got. I cried, I got angry, but I did not reply. I do not wish for him to be in my life, I do not want anything to with him, however he still has such a dramatic effect... I started to attempt to analyse meanings of the email today, but found it fruitless.

 

So I'm just wondering what anyone's take is.... I genuinely do not wish to have anything to do with him, I just want him to leave me alone so I can live my life. Changing my emil address is not viable (I use it for porfessional stuff) but I am actually frightened when I see have an email, which isn't right.

 

Sorry for it being long winded but it has placed my time of celebration into a slightly dark light.

 

Thanks guys and much thanks to toy all. X

[myhearthurtsbadly]

You sound like an absolute sweetie and i'm sorry you have been treated like this.

 

Congrats on the masters - a great achievement. FYI I'm also feeling miserable tonight wondering what my ex gf is up to whilst i'm lying in bed sporadically crying. She removed some pics of me off her instagram yesterday which has opened up a whole world of pain and thoughts about the possibility of her being with someone else already.

 

We can feel miserable together!

[biddybud]

Hi there MHB, I'm so sorry that you are going through fresh pain, I just read your post. I'm not gonna start preaching at you, because you already know that this gets better. Being kind to yourself is a first point, but that includes making decisions based on healthy options.... Hope that helps.

 

Ahhhh it sucks a fair bit, but I am going to try and forget this latest contact from the ex..... It's hard but hopefully I can do it. Don't think this will be the last of the contact though.

 

Believe me you'll get to a point where you really hope you won't ever hear from the ex again. Sending you some healing vibes

[Survivor12]

Zahara you are just fabulous... thank you so very much for your posts on here.

 

You are right, it's only a birthday, however yet again I am the person who turns around and says "it's fine, invite him. I don't want an atmosphere ruining anybody's day"... would he contemplate doing that... no bloody way.

 

I have no idea why anybody would want to put themselves of their heart/ emotions/ soul, through the agony of being in surroundings where the person who destroyed them. I shudder just thinking about it.

 

At the risk of sounding like a small child, this is not fair..... ha!

 

Be honest with yourself...are you not going because you don't want to "spoil anybody's day" or because it makes you shudder to think about putting yourself through the agony of seeing him? Either way, it's your choice so own it. Being a martyr won't make you feel better & blaming him for the choice you make won't either. He can't take your power if you don't give it to him.

 

Be proactive. Make plans in advance to do something special that day. Instead of throwing a pity party, do something that you enjoy--and that makes you feel good about yourself. Take a day trip, go shopping, get a massage or call a distant friend or family member to catch up with what's going on in their life.

 

Above all, take pride in choosing to take care of yourself by doing what's best for you....which is much more important than any party.

[biddybud]

Hi,

 

I'm no Joan Of Arc so in no way a martyr. That happened a while ago now, I didn't go and I am very happy that I didn't. The thought of ruining my friends birthday is just awful and of course him being there would have been the reason. Believe me I owned my feelings and my actions servied both myself and my friend.

 

You sound very judgemental and if I had recieved your message at the point where I was asking for advice, that would have stung me. Just saying

[Survivor12]

Hi,

 

I'm no Joan Of Arc so in no way a martyr. That happened a while ago now, I didn't go and I am very happy that I didn't. The thought of ruining my friends birthday is just awful and of course him being there would have been the reason. Believe me I owned my feelings and my actions servied both myself and my friend.

 

You sound very judgemental and if I had recieved your message at the point where I was asking for advice, that would have stung me. Just saying

 

I was not being judgmental. In fact, I was being supportive & encouraging you to be strong & proud about doing what was best for you instead of seeing yourself as weak & a victim.

 

Good luck to you.

[biddybud]

You need to frame it better than mate. I know however that if I'd recieved that message back when I was in dire pain, it wouldn't have been positive for me.

 

But thanks

[LittleHamster]

Ha, those emails. Its amusing to notice that whenever exes are doing better in their lives minus those human tumors, the tumors start having second thoughts and HAVE to congratulate. Let him swim in the ocean of regret and never reply.

 

All the best for your future :*