Junee Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 I have just been separated. 40yo with 2 kids n a good career. Most people cry, feel sad n depressed. They move through the stages of grief and come to an acceptance. They then recover and move on. I am just feeling numb n emotionless as if inside of me is dead. I cant feel grief or anything. The decision to separate is a mutual one. No drama. More like we drifted apart. My mind is mostly preoccupied with the well beinv of my kids n how they cope. I put in effort to my career to keep the finances stable (i did not ask for alimony). On the surface it looks like i have healed amazingly fast. But in all honesty i know i am not. The propositions / attention from male friends confused me. I am scared to engage in anything deeper (mostly to protect my kids) n also i have been out of dating scene for a gd 10years. I also have a feeling that men might think i am lonely n desperate so an easy target. I am living in a strange emotionless state for the last 6 months. I think if iam unable to grief and move through the stages of recovery, i might never recover.
bluenote Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 I was raised by single mother and I have a lot of sympathy for you. My mom is a woman of steel and unbreakable resolve, women are amazing that way, the sacrifices they can so easily make for their kids. I think despite the emotional shortcoming caused by the lack of father figure in my life and which may be some cause for my problems with overcoming relationship break and stress, I am very much a strong person because of her and her sacrifices seeing my achievements, despite so many financial and other dificulties I grew up in. Should we say you are under post separation shock. Which ever way madam, the fact that you are aware that man may target you for being vulnarable and your protectiveness toward your kids mean that there is nothing wrong with you because you are focused on the important. It may be that your protectiveness shield your deeper emotions and conceals them. Some people only get shock of trauma well after the incident. I realy dont think you must beat yourself up for not feeling broken and sad, its a good thing that you are coping and you are not in denial. The best thing now is keep your focus, do things that you enjoy and live again, if grieve comes deal with it. Just know what hapens to you is not unique it has hapened to many people.
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