enchanted771 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Update on an earlier post.... It was heartbreaking but had to end things with him. You just cant have a fwb relationship with someone you are in love with. Never told him of course that I have feelings. His behavior is never consistent. Of course when I was with him he was all lovey dovey but then when we texted earlier he was being cold, fake and hurt my feelings. Then he told me I was being too sensitive and bla bla bla. Reminds me of that Steve Harvey Book that if a man really likes you, he will not leave. This guy just simply does not care and I refused to admit what was staring at me in the face the entire time. He saw me when it was convenient for him and I was just setting myself up for heartbreak. Cant do this with someone I have feelings for....just cant. Thought I could handle it but I cant. Of course I am going to be sensitive about things, because I have feelings for him and he doesn't. Just better to focus my energy on someone who is going to feel the same about me as I do. Will comfort me, communicate with me when I am upset. Not drop me like I am nothing and ridicule me. Told me I am too sensitive, that he likes to joke around and maybe we shouldn't hang out. I wasn't too sensitive...I am just sensitive and he isn't. Please no flaming...I am hurting and having a hard time letting go...but I know NC is necessary. Need to just make a clean break and forget him. But how is that possible when he is all I am thinking about 1
jbelle6 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Update on an earlier post.... It was heartbreaking but had to end things with him. You just cant have a fwb relationship with someone you are in love with. Never told him of course that I have feelings. His behavior is never consistent. Of course when I was with him he was all lovey dovey but then when we texted earlier he was being cold, fake and hurt my feelings. Then he told me I was being too sensitive and bla bla bla. Reminds me of that Steve Harvey Book that if a man really likes you, he will not leave. This guy just simply does not care and I refused to admit what was staring at me in the face the entire time. He saw me when it was convenient for him and I was just setting myself up for heartbreak. Cant do this with someone I have feelings for....just cant. Thought I could handle it but I cant. Of course I am going to be sensitive about things, because I have feelings for him and he doesn't. Just better to focus my energy on someone who is going to feel the same about me as I do. Will comfort me, communicate with me when I am upset. Not drop me like I am nothing and ridicule me. Told me I am too sensitive, that he likes to joke around and maybe we shouldn't hang out. I wasn't too sensitive...I am just sensitive and he isn't. Please no flaming...I am hurting and having a hard time letting go...but I know NC is necessary. Need to just make a clean break and forget him. But how is that possible when he is all I am thinking about I'm sorry you are sad. I think it's for the best you ended it. You would just feel worse the longer it went on. And no, you were absolutely not too sensitive. I think men are just do better in these type of relationships than us. I couldn't do it because even if I had no feelings to start, I know I'd get them. Plus, why give him free sex when he just hurts you. You made a good move. Hope you feel better.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Thank you, your right. This isn't first time I ended it either but every time I had a change of heart he starts acting all sweet and caring. I just think when you ask someone if you miss them and they ask " what's your name again"? That just is cruel! My ex years ago would make jokes just to hurt me. I dumped him, he ran after me two weeks later and I said tough luck. I was with him 5 years and he never once said I love you until I dumped him. Then I just looked at him and said sorry it's too late for that.
Lipitor11 Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 I'm sorry to hear that! FWB can be tough to handle.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Yeah it's just not for me. Just hate second guessing myself. But I also won't Be disrespected. Interesting how he says he has to watch what he says around d him and it's not him. I think it's because he doesn't care. If you care about someone it wouldn't be effort or inconvenient. Because you wouldn't want to Say things that would hurt that person or make them unhappy. Am I wrong?
irresolute Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 No, you're not wrong, you're perfectly right. Just do yourself a favor, and never look back. You only need to keep in mind that even if he contacts you again, he'll never change the way he feels about you. Even if you become unavailable, he wont beg for you, he won't suddenly fall in love with you. You need to lose hope, you need to realize this. He only sees you as a fwb. In case he wants a relationship, it won't be with you. EVER. I'm sorry you're hurting. I'm 5 days no contact with my fwb as well. 1
Author enchanted771 Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 I'm not expecting to hear from him again. Although he hung up on me before like 4 months ago then texts me 10 days later out of the blue. He's a sociopath. I already knew this months ago but held out hope. If he wavts to commit let her deal with him. He's no catch. 2
kaylan Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 Good on you OP. Dating in NY can be quite a battle. Especially in NYC. I wont lie and say I dont consider leaving the burbs and coming back down to NYC though.
Author enchanted771 Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 If you do, bring a boyfriend because it's is absolutely herrendous trying to Find a half decent guy in this place! I was keeping my options open anyways. Went on a couple dates and the guy asked me for a second. But sure the outcome but at least it's a distraction.
kaylan Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 If you do, bring a boyfriend because it's is absolutely herrendous trying to Find a half decent guy in this place! I was keeping my options open anyways. Went on a couple dates and the guy asked me for a second. But sure the outcome but at least it's a distraction. Im a guy....though I do know my username is generally seen as a girl's name lol
Author enchanted771 Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Im a guy....though I do know my username is generally seen as a girl's name lollol my bad
Author enchanted771 Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Walk away from this, it isn't what you want. I already have. Besides that, he has no consideration how his Words may affect how others feel. Because I'm sensitive doesn't mean you Toss someone under the bus. But anyways it's better this way. I'll be upset a few days but I've accepted this is how he is and treats people and I deserve better.
kaylan Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 lol my bad Its all good. And good on you getting back in the water so quickly. I tend to have bad judgment when getting over someone, so Ive taught myself to take dating breaks after Im done seeing someone. Im on a dating hiatus now because Ive been so annoyed at my dating luck. Not that Ive met bad women...just that its hard finding someone Im reeeeaaallly into. Plus I needed time to focus on other things in my life. Anyways, good luck. Its kinda nice to read about a girl actually being able to pull the plug on a situation like this. Watch yourself tho....try to fight off those weak moments where you might get sucked back into things with the dude. 1
Author enchanted771 Posted June 7, 2014 Author Posted June 7, 2014 Be appreciative you are moving along I know better off. Although it may not seem like it now,it will save me a lot if heartbreak in the long run.
loversquarrel Posted June 7, 2014 Posted June 7, 2014 I have learned over the years how much power a woman can yield when it comes to sex and relationships. When a woman gives herself to easily she risks giving up the ability to weed out the "bad apples". Take it as a learning experience and make them earn you. Also, take this guy's being mean with a grain of salt, it's probably his way of putting his guard up and not wanting to get close to you. 1
Author enchanted771 Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 Yes that's what I was thinking too. He starts getting too close, Starts acting like a jerk but doesn't make it ok. That's why I can't handle these relationships. I won't be treated like a piece of old garbage.
Elle1975 Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Thank you, your right. This isn't first time I ended it either but every time I had a change of heart he starts acting all sweet and caring. I just think when you ask someone if you miss them and they ask " what's your name again"? That just is cruel! My ex years ago would make jokes just to hurt me. I dumped him, he ran after me two weeks later and I said tough luck. I was with him 5 years and he never once said I love you until I dumped him. Then I just looked at him and said sorry it's too late for that. Wait I'm lost, the name of your post is fwb. Were you his girlfriend or his fck buddy?
Author enchanted771 Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 Was never officially his gf because he wouldn't claim me as such or see me as much as a gf. But we did gf/bf stuff. Movies, dinner, sleepovers, cuddling, etc. So he wanted the benefit without the commitment basically.
Elle1975 Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Was never officially his gf because he wouldn't claim me as such or see me as much as a gf. But we did gf/bf stuff. Movies, dinner, sleepovers, cuddling, etc. So he wanted the benefit without the commitment basically. Oh so FWB. Well good thing that you ended it, good for you!
Author enchanted771 Posted June 8, 2014 Author Posted June 8, 2014 Oh so FWB. Well good thing that you ended it, good for you! well it's a waste of time if it's going nowhere. Like I'm sitting here collecting dust while he lives his life. Not fair to me.
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