CadeYeager Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 It's been quite some time since I've posted, but I've ran into some issues lately that I need some advice on. Past couple of days I've been running into a lot of people I know since school is out and people are back in town. Many people avoid me as well... because of my break up in January. GF broke up with me btw. All I hear is "man I heard this and this and this about you..." One girl my ex gf worked with got a job at my work place. She felt the need to tell me all that "bad things" she's heard about me. I went to dinner a few nights ago and saw co workers of my ex. They gave me the death stare. It kinda bothers me considering the fact that I took care of this girl emotionally and financially. I always said sorry even when it wasn't my fault. Sure I guess "allegiance" might have something to do with it?? Who knows... 1
David87 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 She wants you to be considered the bad guy that's why she says nasty things about you..... 1
yorkie Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 yeah i have to agree with the OP i to have felt that i am the bad person and that she my ex is treating me as if i was the one who split up with her! but recently i have just thought who cares i know the truth and there are always two sides to every story. 1
erklat Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I don't think it's true. The dumper is stigmatized. You go on and live your life. My ex is back together with the guy who beat her. I was working on myself alone for 10mths. I think that my head can be held high.
elseaacych Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Both parties do it as a self protection mechanism. I used to have a healthy relationship. My ex was good to me, but to others, he was very much an ass. He always expressed great dislike for others, to me, in private, regardless of whether they treated him nicely or not. So, once he broke up with me I've pretty much resolved myself that whatever girl he's with thinks I'm the biggest beyotch ever. On the other hand, he caused problems in our relationship, wouldn't apologize, wouldn't work on the relationship, broke up with me for another girl. So, he's an ass. Always has been, always will be. So there you have it. We're trying to protect ourselves by making the world look a little kinder to us in our own eyes. 1
Ordinaryday Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I don't see what the question is. Because EVERYONE only ever sees the world through their own eyes and processes it through their own thoughts, and not other peoples, it is inevitable that everyone will be biased towards their own views. almost everyone makes themselves out to be the 'good' guy and people who they argue with are the 'bad' guy. if you were to ask any of my exes about me they would bad mouth the crap out of me! i thought this was common knowledge?
StumpyNB Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I found out a couple years ago that my ex-wive of 15 years had been sleeping around with one of my closest 'friends' for 7 of those 15 years. Once I found out, she proceeded (and still does to this day) to tell anyone who would listen that I was an abusive father and husband, and that I never cared for her or the children, that I was an absentee drunkard husband and father. All sorts of stuff like that. You want to know WHY they do that? So people will feel sorry for them, and think they were somehow justified in doing the horrible things they did, instead of realizing that they are just scum. 2
ktya Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 Ive had this happen to me several times in serious committed relationships. Its heartbreaking. My ex fiancee who i was with for 9 years, who cheated on me during our engagement found a way to manipulate the story to make me look like an abusive control freak drunkard. In reality i was shattered by her cheating and had trust issues and rightly so (i caught her again). My most recent ex was apparently planning to leave me, coached her kid into beleiving i was not a good person and that i was yelling all the time. She got that kid to spew that stuff all over a community ive lived in for 14 years. I was angry because she was a hoarder and couldnt pick up after herself let alone her kid. Why people feel it is fair game to trash someones reputation just because of a breakuo i will never understand. 1
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