whydidthishappentome Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Long story short. I was in a relationship over ten years. Lots of timing and kids issues, finally was at a point where we could focus on us and I get dumped, but did not get the memo. Full NC started spring 2013. Noticed ex posted his profile on various dating sites and I could tell he was active, then his profile disappeared. I assumed he gave up or found someone. So all year I was hoping he might miss me and might contact me. I dated from online but it just made me miss him more. I had hoped that's what happened to him. Just found out he's been married a couple of months now. Apparently he did find someone, went on vacation with both their kids, bought a house, and got married, all in a year. I truly think he did not know his new wife prior. All the things I waited for, she gets after one year of knowing him? This is his second marriage, not sure about her although she does have a daughter. Wow, that stings. I'm stunned. So now my hopes of a second chance are crushed, unless he regrets it at some point when the proverbial honeymoon is over. Who does that? How common is this? Why the rush? I can't help but think she was really looking for a husband from all her posts I've seen so she may have laid it on thick. I've seen it happen to my ex husband, who married a woman who laid it on thick, which I saw through that, and he's tried to leave her several times. Anyway, it's been hard trying to move on and this is a slap in the face.
Skysurfer Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 Long story short. I was in a relationship over ten years. Lots of timing and kids issues, finally was at a point where we could focus on us and I get dumped, but did not get the memo. Full NC started spring 2013. Noticed ex posted his profile on various dating sites and I could tell he was active, then his profile disappeared. I assumed he gave up or found someone. So all year I was hoping he might miss me and might contact me. I dated from online but it just made me miss him more. I had hoped that's what happened to him. Just found out he's been married a couple of months now. Apparently he did find someone, went on vacation with both their kids, bought a house, and got married, all in a year. I truly think he did not know his new wife prior. All the things I waited for, she gets after one year of knowing him? This is his second marriage, not sure about her although she does have a daughter. Wow, that stings. I'm stunned. So now my hopes of a second chance are crushed, unless he regrets it at some point when the proverbial honeymoon is over. Who does that? How common is this? Why the rush? I can't help but think she was really looking for a husband from all her posts I've seen so she may have laid it on thick. I've seen it happen to my ex husband, who married a woman who laid it on thick, which I saw through that, and he's tried to leave her several times. Anyway, it's been hard trying to move on and this is a slap in the face. Hello There, The more and more I read these post the more and more I find out people are in the same boat as me. I'm quite stunned at what he did to you. Just know you are NOT ALONE!! BIG HUG for you. Mine did the same. We split spring 2013 after 7 years and all in under a year, he finds a new woman, sells our house for a new one with her, get married and they are currently 3 months pregnant. STUNNED! I am completely and utterly lost for words. WHY DO MEN DO THIS!!?? I wanted all that too! Just not NOW! I don't know what to say to you except move on and he will realize his mistakes of not knowing her like he knew you. I'm really sorry and I can fully empathise with you. 1
FortunateSon Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I am sorry for the pain you are going through, I know first hand how hard it is when someone moves on that you have feelings for. Take this as your final closure, this person has moved on and married someone else for better or worse. From this point on, focus on yourself and what you need to do to move forward from this and find the partner you deserve. You WILL get through this and come out better in the end.
Sugarkane Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I'm sorry to hear this. What do you mean by she laid it on thick? Do dumpers ever feel anything similar if they snoop on us, out if curiousosity? I don't think men are as good as being alone as women are. For eg both my grandmothers never remarried had another relationship after my grandfathers died. Yet if it's the other way around, I've noticed men usually remarry. Interesting post.
Author whydidthishappentome Posted June 6, 2014 Author Posted June 6, 2014 What I meant by laying it on thick was the pity party and being on your best behaviour. Once my ex husband got married, and he did quickly, not as qucikly as my recent ex boyfriend, she showed her true colors. The new wife of my ex boyfriend just seems she was really looking for a husband so probably played that same hand. Just my feeling. I know my ex husband isn't so happy so I am secretly hoping my ex boyfriend won't be happy either. Sorry, hurts too much to be happy for him.
Elle1975 Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I'm sorry that you're crushed. That would totally set me back too. Don't forget it's easy to blame the new wife, but she might just be very nice, and not necessarily someone hiding her true colors. I do want to get remarried, and it's now one of the things that I want to bring up front when I meet someone. Not saying I will want to marry the first guy I meet, but just saying that I want my date to know what my intentions are, and what my expectations are. Since he probably met her on a dating site, that's most likely what they both wrote down as far as dating intentions went. It could also be that he didn't see himself marrying you, as heartbreaking and cruel as the truth might be. Who knows? Just do the very same thing he did. Decide what you want, and put an action plan in place to find the guy who will match your future plans. Again, I'm so sorry that you learned of his marriage and baby on the way, especially if that's what you hoped for. And if it is what you want, like I said, put your foot down and let your guy know that if he wants you around, that is what is going to happen; no more of this waiting around for years bs.
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