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NC and No Cyberstalking is hard

nightbird101

By nightbird101
in Coping

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nightbird101 Member

nightbird101

Posted
Posted

My 7 year relationship with a wonderful girl ended a 3 months ago. She ended it which is why I'm devastated and only a week ago from today the real NC began.

 

So far everything seemed to be going well. But just today the break up hit home again while I was out at a job interview. The interview went pretty damn well but I did feel depressed on my way back home.

 

My Struggles

  • I want to call her so bad
  • Trying so hard to not check her stats on various sites (I don't want to get hurt)
  • I can't believe she's really gone after everything we did together
  • Has she really moved on?

 

All these points I know are unhealthy and I really shouldn't dwell on them and worry about getting the spring back into my step. But 7 years of my life was dedicated to her, I'm 25 so it is a rather sum to my life.

 

I still miss her and want her back badly. However 3 months of begging hasn't worked and the break up is at the point where if our relationship is to work out. She has to come to me. Another thing I can't dwell on other wise it'll eat me alive.

 

If she was to call me to catch up I'd most likely say no. I'd say no out of fear, but I know realistically I'd say yes, because I'm an idiot. I don't know. When things seem to feel good they suddenly change and feel bad. To resist the urge of contacting her. Here I am.

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EverLastluv Established Member

EverLastluv

Posted
Posted (edited)

Keep focused on your self. Follow all the good advises and do what you have to do.

I am not seeing or talking to my fiance right now, hoping he is taking care of him self. I do love him with all my heart. Giving him some time to do what he has to do. One day by God will we might ended up together. I dont know its a chance Im taking. Either he would fix himself or he would find someone and move on to accept him for who he is. I wish you Good luck.

Edited by EverLastluv
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nightbird101 Member

nightbird101

Posted
  • Author
Posted
EverLastluv

 

you sound like my Fiance :S. But thanks for the advice, good luck on your end as well ;)

  • Like 1
todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
Posted (edited)

i try to follow no contact i fail miserably because i follow my heart.......i dont know if it is miserable actually because i feel right in contacting ...normally i wait until contact comes i have waited six months.......for an ex to contact me ....we are now friends firm friends we have kids together the ex before that friends.......recent ex friends........they contact me it is not a case of me contacting them i just wait.......

 

 

i do not have an ex boyfriend who would not talk to me.....who doesnt care for me like i care for them, they ask my advice and i ask for their perspectives......

 

 

i am not however with them r will be with them intimately again because it is right for them to be in other relationships and it is right for me to find a guy who is by gods will meant for me

 

if someone i care about contacts me.......i re engage......if someone i care about asked to meet me no matter how they hurt me..........i would not be an idiot for going....i would be me ....because i care.......and i wont deny it ......and i wont let anyone else tell me or influence me what i should do or say .....ill say what i need to say from my heart..... .......i am beginnign to really trust my heart even though my heart is like a big kid......... its gamey and not being real to not follow my heart........i dont know how much time i am on earth for ....and maybe i might be allowed to be some kind of guard in my next journey for people i care about just so i can soemhow be there even if they dont know i am i would give an arm for that take my right arm god its not working...........until then unfortunately or fortunately for them ........i wont turn away i wont play games........no one should...honesty and caring are key traits to humanity making it with a certain amount of happiness....in other words going from what your heart says...time is short.....dont live with what if.......just do it.......what your heart says........

 

this is the only if you should think of

 

 

what if tomorrow isnt for me to be in or even worse somethign happens to them ....that would near kill me......probably not because i go on through loads of loss and pain.........will they know i care.......yes ...ronan keating lyrics in there...awesome song......;0)...best wishes.........deb

Edited by todreaminblue
Frank13 Established Member

Frank13

Posted
Posted

It is very difficult to read your message with all the "........" stuff going on. Periods are used to separate thoughts and ideas.

 

I don't know if you separating thoughts, tying them together, or just rambling, which is what the "......." make it look like.

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
Posted
It is very difficult to read your message with all the "........" stuff going on. Periods are used to separate thoughts and ideas.

 

I don't know if you separating thoughts, tying them together, or just rambling, which is what the "......." make it look like.

 

 

ok.(alright)

Plain(like a plain hamburger or a skating llama)

 

 

and simple.(plus a skating llama)

He.(opening poster)

 

should.(if he feels he should)

follow.(to be led by)

 

his heart

 

(big red thing that beats fast and feels pain)

 

.and.

 

(what does and mean ...oh yes plus)

 

not.

(dont do it)

 

others. (anyone who doesnt know him personally nor the relationship between the two nor the other woman)

 

 

opinions(thoughts based on personal experiences, beliefs values and standards held and owned by an individual with no knowledge of said experience being posted).

 

 

clear now just for you(is that crystal for you)

 

 

toodles (bye from deb)

have a great day ........self explanatory

elseaacych Established Member

elseaacych

Posted
Posted

Cyberstalking is like a drug addiction. You get withdrawn from it until you need to get your "hit". You think it won't hurt, it may even do you some good.

 

Well, then you do it.

 

And you feel kind of empty, like your soul has left you. You are looking at a distorted reflection of a reflection of someone you once knew. It's all you're going to get, and your person, up on stage, isn't even talking to you at all. Just some invisible audience that's all around you that only she can see. However, she doesn't even see you in the audience. Your chair is empty.

 

So maybe it's a little melodramatic, but it's how it is. You start feeling better once you realize that you aren't sitting in her audience, but are on a stage of your own. You don't have to play the role of the "idiot" who caters to her whims, but you get to be you. True you. You are the star of your own show.

 

It is so hard to let go.

 

But

 

you

 

have

 

to

 

give

 

it

 

LOTS

 

of

time!

  • Like 2
jackslife Established Member

jackslife

Posted
Posted

This girl was with you a long time, first big love and all that, but you are 25 and have years of exciting, fun life ahead of you with other lovely women.

 

It's crap now - but it will feel better one day. You won't be pining for her when you're 70, or 60, or 40 or even 30. There is a bright future ahead.

 

Look at it another way. If you'd been born 70 years earlier you'd now be on a beach in France being shot at by Germans.

 

Follow NC 100%, look to the future and count your blessing you found out at 25 and not 45.

 

Good luck!

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