SpotyLove Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 I recently have been out with two women who both seem mutually interested in me. I have never had this good misfortune in the past. I am very attracted to both women in different ways. However, I'm looking for a long term relationship and feel like I have to choose between the two. What are the best qualities to look for in a long-term mate?
Assasda Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 Someone who respects you. Surely you have one in mind. Its never really a tie
PegNosePete Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 I'm actually in a very similar situation to you OP, and like you I've never really been in it before. An interesting new experience indeed In fact I normally follow the rule of "one at once" to avoid precisely this situation. The list of qualities above - and any other you might come up with - well I would hope they both satisfy all of them else you wouldn't be in this dilemma in the first place. I know that's how it is for me. Both are great in different ways, no dealbreakers with either, and I would be very happy to go ahead with with either of them long-term. So how to choose. It's tricky! The way I have chosen is because one of them sends daily texts and emails, whereas the other is a lot more sporadic to respond to me. Although she's very keen when she does respond, in fact she just asked me out on another date, and she's very interested in person... she has an aloofness, I think she would be hard to lock into a relationship. Although she's smoking hot, choosing her would mean a high risk of losing both. Whereas the other I feel I have a much better emotional connection with, she's a better communicator. So that's how I chose. It came down to cold hard logic in the end. Maybe a pro and con list will help you? Good luck! (I thought about trying to put the other on the back burner for a while in case it doesn't work out with the first... but my morals just can't let me do that. It's not fair on the one I choose to have a "backup", and not fair on the backup to be put in that position)
Author SpotyLove Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 I'm actually in a very similar situation to you OP, and like you I've never really been in it before. An interesting new experience indeed In fact I normally follow the rule of "one at once" to avoid precisely this situation. The list of qualities above - and any other you might come up with - well I would hope they both satisfy all of them else you wouldn't be in this dilemma in the first place. I know that's how it is for me. Both are great in different ways, no dealbreakers with either, and I would be very happy to go ahead with with either of them long-term. So how to choose. It's tricky! The way I have chosen is because one of them sends daily texts and emails, whereas the other is a lot more sporadic to respond to me. Although she's very keen when she does respond, in fact she just asked me out on another date, and she's very interested in person... she has an aloofness, I think she would be hard to lock into a relationship. Although she's smoking hot, choosing her would mean a high risk of losing both. Whereas the other I feel I have a much better emotional connection with, she's a better communicator. So that's how I chose. It came down to cold hard logic in the end. Maybe a pro and con list will help you? Good luck! (I thought about trying to put the other on the back burner for a while in case it doesn't work out with the first... but my morals just can't let me do that. It's not fair on the one I choose to have a "backup", and not fair on the backup to be put in that position) This is a really well written post. I actually had a similar train of thought. The one woman is very physically attractive and fun to hang out with, but I question what her true interest is. I get the impression she is probably still exploring things, but I never asked her directly what she is seeking. The other is more straight-laced and responsible, but still cute. She is also very responsive to my communication and lives much closer to me. Given the first seems potentially flaky, I think it's best to go with the lower maintenance girl.
Recommended Posts