EverLastluv Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) I been seperated from my fiance who is an alcholic for a month now. He LOVES me dearly. He would consume like 10 cans of "coors light" everyday. He would not drink liqueur only if its a family gathering or holidays. When he DONT drink, he is quiet! He can NOT hold a conversation. My fiance would laught, talk, dace, and go places when he drinks his beer. But would not do any of that without drinking. He is a very loving and caring person. He never cheated on me, always respectful around othere femalse introducing me and acknologing me anywhere we go. My conclusion is during the years of experience in my past, hee is the only man that love me dearly. He engaged to me right away promising to marry me and make me his wife. My fiance would buy me a bunch of flowers every weekend, when I ask him dont waste his money, he say " his heart tells him to" and the flowers is as beautiful as me, dont say that. NO other man ever did so! from my story, How do you walk away from someone who is so lovable caring and sweet? Edited June 4, 2014 by EverLastluv
sumathi Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 To live with an alcoholic is not an easy joke. Your marriage would not survive. Since he loves you, you should make him come out of his habit. Take him to a rehabilitation center and have him cured. You can marry him afterwards. But if he insists on drinking and would not listen to your advice, kindly leave him. 2
Author EverLastluv Posted June 5, 2014 Author Posted June 5, 2014 To live with an alcoholic is not an easy joke. Your marriage would not survive. Since he loves you, you should make him come out of his habit. Take him to a rehabilitation center and have him cured. You can marry him afterwards. But if he insists on drinking and would not listen to your advice, kindly leave him. The reason why I ask this question is because I did leave him to figure out whats more important for him self but I have seen other post where people having a hard time finding someone to love them also some have problems with man cheating on them. SO is my problem a bigger issue?
Author EverLastluv Posted June 5, 2014 Author Posted June 5, 2014 Praying that another door would open with lots of love and happines in my life. I dont want to be regreting this break up. I devorce my ex husband in search for love, finally found love in a wonderful man but with a different problem . I wonder sometimes why ME.
No Limit Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 The reason why I ask this question is because I did leave him to figure out whats more important for him self but I have seen other post where people having a hard time finding someone to love them also some have problems with man cheating on them. SO is my problem a bigger issue? Please don't believe that all that's left of society out there are liars, cheaters and backstabbers. They are out there and yes the danger that you'll catch that type is present, but it's not all there is. See, in like 90% of the cases where people post about their cheating partner the poster him or herself has remained faithful - so don't just think it's the useless type of people out there. I'll also agree with the post above; helping him out of this addiction will help him much more than the fanciest wedding money can buy. It'll spare both of you a lot of heartache as well. 1
pteromom Posted June 5, 2014 Posted June 5, 2014 My conclusion is during the years of experience in my past, hee is the only man that love me dearly. But not enough to get help to stop drinking so he can keep you. 1
Author EverLastluv Posted June 6, 2014 Author Posted June 6, 2014 But not enough to get help to stop drinking so he can keep you. Thank you thats what I thought too.
Author EverLastluv Posted June 6, 2014 Author Posted June 6, 2014 Please don't believe that all that's left of society out there are liars, cheaters and backstabbers. They are out there and yes the danger that you'll catch that type is present, but it's not all there is. See, in like 90% of the cases where people post about their cheating partner the poster him or herself has remained faithful - so don't just think it's the useless type of people out there. I'll also agree with the post above; helping him out of this addiction will help him much more than the fanciest wedding money can buy. It'll spare both of you a lot of heartache as well. I did try to help him with EVERYTHING. I really did, I pick him up every time and take him to the class, I joined the couples counceling, I went with him to AA meetings. I made appointment for doctors which he never wants to go to. His mom and sister was NO help at all, the sister is a drunkie and the mother takes his money. So where that leave me? I try everything for this man, he has a kind heart very loving and caring but.....
pteromom Posted June 6, 2014 Posted June 6, 2014 I did try to help him with EVERYTHING. I really did, I pick him up every time and take him to the class, I joined the couples counceling, I went with him to AA meetings. I made appointment for doctors which he never wants to go to. His mom and sister was NO help at all, the sister is a drunkie and the mother takes his money. So where that leave me? I try everything for this man, he has a kind heart very loving and caring but..... Unfortunately you can't do the work for him. It is great that he's had you as a support, and it sounds like if he would have stopped drinking while he was with you, it would have been much easier for him. Now he will have to do it on his own. Or not. Either way, you've done all you could do, and you can walk away knowing you have to leave to care for yourself now. 2
Rig88 Posted June 8, 2014 Posted June 8, 2014 Coming from a family where my dad was an alcoholic , I have an insight into your situation. My dad was a loving , caring man. He worshipped my mother , me and my other two siblings but the drink made him selfish. Alcoholism is an illness , as is cancer , depression etc. The relationship can only survive if you accept that during the times he is unwell , the alcohol will always come first and for most before anything else.
Author EverLastluv Posted June 10, 2014 Author Posted June 10, 2014 Coming from a family where my dad was an alcoholic , I have an insight into your situation. My dad was a loving , caring man. He worshipped my mother , me and my other two siblings but the drink made him selfish. Alcoholism is an illness , as is cancer , depression etc. The relationship can only survive if you accept that during the times he is unwell , the alcohol will always come first and for most before anything else. I read many post where couples together for 25 to 30 years and decide to walk away after building a family. Because they are tired of the stress, selfishness etc. should someone accept the disease and live with each other for years until I guess both fall out of love? loving and caring each other is a wonderful feeling thought. One should accept until Gods will set whats next for you .... I am still seperate from my fiance, he still sends me bunch of roses ever other weekend leaving messages of his love for me.
amaysngrace Posted June 10, 2014 Posted June 10, 2014 I also love an alcoholic. He's asks me to get married all the time but there's no way I would ever sign up for that. He's a great guy and he's one of my best friends and if he got sick with cancer I'd help him through that and take care of him and all but alcoholism is not like cancer because it is up to him and only him to get well. 1
Author EverLastluv Posted June 12, 2014 Author Posted June 12, 2014 I also love an alcoholic. He's asks me to get married all the time but there's no way I would ever sign up for that. He's a great guy and he's one of my best friends and if he got sick with cancer I'd help him through that and take care of him and all but alcoholism is not like cancer because it is up to him and only him to get well. wow:) they truly a handfull. How you coping with that? I feel bad accepting my fiance loveing me where I would NOT marry him if he cant help himself. Its very hard to let go of love in general. But living appart from each other is easier right now. Im able to mantaing a healthy life stile with my daughter. 1
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