Breakup91590 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 This will be a long post as I will go into as much detail as possible, it was a long distance relationship but didn't really feel like it. Me and my ex met over a year ago online. We became friends through my friend and her boyfriend at the time. She asked to add me on fb and skype, and we played a game together and chatted on skype. I was 22 and she was 17. At some point our relationship had weird instances where it wasn't strictly a friendship, she would call me everyday after school and whenever she was free and hide it from her boyfriend and say things like "is it wrong that I rather call you than xx). Anyway she was dealing with deep depression and had a problem of self harm that I was there to comfort her through. She was having problems with her boyfriend as well and I would try to help her during those time. She was a very open person and asked me a lot of personal questions and wanted to watch porn with me and asked me about my fantasies(I viewed this as crossing the friendship line but I was starting to really grow to like her and of course I went along with it) Sometime later she went on a school trip and instead of calling her boyfriend, she basically stayed on call with me for most of it, and that night she video chatted me while sitting on the bed naked(but not actually letting me see anything) and also in the shower. Things got more weird when she asked to play truth or dare and I asked her to do something she shouldn't do. She responded "is that okay?" and I told her yes and she's like "I don't think thats okay" but eventually she did it. Later that night she was asking me if I thought less of her for not being a virgin and losing her virginity to her current boyfriend and that she felt ashamed. I told her I didn't think any less of her and eventually told her that I was starting to like her more than a friend and wanted a relationship with her. She told me she wasn't sure how to react and that she thought it was really sweet and told me not to go that she still wanted to talk to me but she was already in a relationship. Well, this continued for some time, we did awkward things that people shouldn't do when they're already in a relationship. Her relationship with her boyfriend was dwindling and she would always call me and lean on me for support. She asked me if she should leave him and I told her that I can't tell her honestly without getting my feelings involved but I would like if she would. Things happened and they broke up and she was single for a month or so but our relationship continued(I had told my friend I had feelings for her before they broke up but never tell him what happened and still till this day I haven't, needless to say we're no longer friends as I was a pretty **** friend, there's no denying that). as our relationship continued I told her I wanted a relationship with her, I wanted to visit her as summer was coming up. She said she didn't want a title such as "boyfriend and girlfriend" and our relationship is basically the same, the same commitment, the same everything. I would not settle with this, why couldn't she make a commitment if she tells me she loves me and so we argued over this a bit. A few days later she told me it was okay and we could date. And so we started dated and in July of that year I went to visit her for the first time and it was great, we had sex the first day and then just spent time with each other doing things we had said we wanted to do and just being with each other. Oh I should probably add that our relationship was a bit weird, we would be on call for every second that I wasn't at work, when she went to work I'd be on call if I wasn't working(we tried to do the same for me but that was too hard as I was always moving around while working and skype would crash so we would just message each other a lot during these times). We would even sleep on call(something we did before we actually got together, and it's something that I really cherished), just being on cam and watching each other sleep meant a lot. Well anyways after I visited her something bad happened, we had met another girl on a game(as we usually played a game together for hours a day) and I started talking to her, my girlfriend kept telling me how upset she was that she was the one to reach out to this girl but she wanted to be friends with me more and I told her she should just talk to her. I never told her how much we talked but eventually I told her we talked a while(this was mentioned on the trip when we were drunk and she was drove to tears) and after she heard that she went on my skype to read my messages(I gave her my password, told her I was sorry). She was extremely hurt because she had removed a guy for that she was talking with because it made me worry(I had removed a few girls I talked to because she said she was jealous and didn't like them). Something I should mention about my girlfriend, she was very hard headed, when we argued it was usually about stupid things and she would over react, hang up and not call me back till much later and after I told her I was wrong(I was never allowed to be right at that time). Anyway, this situation had her really upset and she said that she hated me and could never forgive me but she could forget over time and said she wanted to still be with me and make me prove that I love her and let her forget. Things were really rocky after that but eventually she seemed happy again, said she loved me again, did sexual things with me again and it seemed like everything was okay, I cut off all contact with said girl and everything. Soon she was going to be starting school at a very nice college in Cali(I already lived on the east coast and her west) and I was worried, I asked her how is this going to effect us, things will change drastically but she assured me things will be the same. Well before she went to college she went to China for personal reasons for a week that she couldn't avoid, and while she was there she would call me whenever possible. She also had secretly sent me flowers with a very cute note saying "(my name), I love you , I just wanted to know I'm still thinking of you in China! Please don't miss me o-o..and please have fun without me(I know I always tell you not to) I miss you lots! and I hope to see you soon. (my name)!!!! YOU ARE AWESOMEEEE. P.S. Hi Michael's family, I love you guys too! With tons of hugs and kisses, (my ex's name)! This was a great surprise to me and made me feel really loved, we couldn't talk for the first 2 days while we were in China and we hadn't not talked to each for a full day since we started dating so it was difficult but when she contacted me it was an amazing moment, she was really sweet and it was great. Fast forward to her coming back from China and packing to go to university. She leaves and arrives there and the data is awful, skype is always crashing, the first night she gets there we sleep on call and the next day she doesn't call me till that night. This continued for a while and I would message her during the day like "what's up!" "I miss you" etc. but she barely responded. We stayed on call every night but eventually it got to the point where she was always upset at me and always bringing up the old argument as to have a reason to be angry with me. She started making new friends and just communicating with me less, I began to think the relationship was over and she just didn't want me anymore and wanted to be with her friends. Eventually one day she told me she wanted to return her ex's sweater, and I told her I didn't want her to do that and that for her to please let me give her the money for her to send it to me but she told me she had agreed to meet him in person before they broke up and it's a promise she couldn't break. We fought and she said if I didn't let her do this we would break up and I explained to her why it pained me and she didn't respond but eventually msg'd me back and told me she seeked advice and a guy had told her that he could understand my feelings and she should try holding on to that sweater and if that promise really meant so much to her then she should wait to see how are relationship goes and then decide. Things continued and they were bad, she said she still hated me and was about to break up with me once and we didn't talk for a few days, just status updates like she would say "im going to the beach etc". A few days later after she said she wanted to break up she called me and shes like, How are you? and I told her I was upset of course and she told me she had something to tell me, and I told her that didn't sound good. She said it was good and that she didn't want to break up and she was sorry. Oh I forgot to mention that she said the reason she wanted to break up is she wanted to experience the college life, she wanted to do things without having to worry about me but she had changed her mind. Of course I was excited. Before she actually went to college I had planned to visit her again for the League of Legends world championships and had already bought the tickets and stuff. She was still saying she hated me for what I did but still wanted me to visit anyway. While I was there things were good at times but she continued to bring that up and I felt like I had scarred her so badly, I felt awful. I asked her if she wanted to break up and she told me no, I asked her if she still loved me and she said she did but she wanted to try to make it work and still hated me. Anyways, that visit was the worst of our entire relationship. When I got back home, things continued the same way till she told me she was sorry for how she was acting and that she did love me and wanted to be happy with me. I should add that we were both jealous people, me probably more so and I wasn't comfortable with her partying(especially after I had found out stuff about her past that I confronted her about in the future). Anyway we were happy for a bit but I found out she had been lying to me about things. On her birthday, I had chocolates, a teddy bear, a card, and flowers sent to her and some other things. That day I caught her in a life about something very stupid, she told me no guys had said to her happy birthday(I wasn't even angry) but when I knew the truth I told her that she was lying and over something so silly. So we argued on her birthday and I told her I know she is lying and she admitted to it. Then I asked her what else has she lied about and she told me she hasn't lied and she doesn't even text guys(I actually new differently but didn't say anything as I was a coward at the time) but she had come clean about some things and we were happy again. A few days later a guy at her future work place gives her a present as she is going in a study room to play games with me, she told me about it and she seemed excited to have it, I asked her why he gave it to her and she said she didn't know, they had only talked once. I made a big deal about this because one day when I was at class I was given a free arm band from a girl(who gave them to everyone) and I liked it, it was blue and i thought it looked cool so I wore it. She freaked out about this and made me remove it and said she wasn't comfortable with a girl giving me something like that and if I liked it so much she would get me one, and she did. I was perfectly fine with this, a jealous girlfriend to me feels very caring and loving, so I decided to get her one as well. Anyway when I expressed how upset I was about this, she got very upset and wouldn't understand, I also don't see how a guy who shes only talked to once would give her a league of legends shirt(the game we loved to play) without knowing her. I was like, why is he giving you a shirt if he doesn't know you besides talking once. She told me he was just really nice and gives gifts to all the girls he works with or knows. Anyway I wouldn't budge and she got angry but eventually started crying and told me I was right and she would give it back to him and she did. Anyway that was at the end of November of last year and at the end of December things were okay but I had found out about a lot of lies she told me and confronted her, first I asked her about one of the lies and she lied right to my face. So I told her I was done and I can't stand the constant lies, I don't know this girl and she's not the one I fell in love with. This was also on her first day of work where she was working with a guy who she had lied about, she said she had never talked to him but I had proof she did, and even about me.I confronted her about her lies, how she had told me she wasn't messaging guys but was even talking about things that our relationship was definitely not comfortable with(not super sexual things or anything like that, I never saw a sexual message that showed intent of cheating, did it happen? Idk but I never saw it). Anyways she pleaded and begged and told me all of the lies I didn't know, such as she would keep me on call and tell me she was going to the bathroom to go talk to the guys that work swiping people into the dorms(her future work place) and that she had talked to the guy that gave her the shirt a lot and that she would give him food and any swipes she had and would text him to do so, and a lot more lies just involving either going out and talking with guys, texting them, I'm forgettings things but basically a lot. This wasn't the first time I caught her doing this but the first time was a one conversation thing that was pretty innocent after I made a mistake and we both kind of chalked it up to we both were stupid, we werent doing anything wrong but weren't honest with each other. Anyways the way I knew this stuff was that she had given me access to her facebook and had forgotten about it or probably forgot I knew it. Strangely enough she wasn't upset about this but she told me she would quit college, quit her job, send me her phone do whatever I wanted just as long as I stayed with her, and I was really angry with her and told her I wasn't sure that someone who could lie so much and pretend to be hurt about something I did but turns around and does even worse WHILE being angry with me about something she had previously gotten over is someone I can trust. She told me she would send me all her texts, give me all her passwords to everything, she even linked her icloud to mine so I could see some of her texts, and she would keep me on call 24/7 and that was the promise we made, and we tried this. I read all the texts that she sent to guys and I was heart broken that she was actually leaving me on call and lying to me to do this but I loved her and didn't want to think of her like that so our relationship continued. I know what you might be thinking, you should have seen this coming since you messed with a girl who had a boyfriend and did things with you like that. Well I found out more about her past and I wasn't the first like that but she told me all of that, and as for that being a concern, at the time it was and I know that was wrong to do but till that day till two days ago we were on call 24/7 and she never betrayed me during that time. You're probably also thinking im a control freak and shes crazy but I think all this text makes it sound worse than it is. Anyway she stuck true to the promise and we had a great time, she came to visit me on valentines day and it was amazing, then spring bring she came, she met my family both times. However, at the end of spring break trip(the last day she was with me) she wanted to break up because the night before we somehow started talking about the past and I got angry and left the room, she said leaving her like that hurt her more than anything and I always say things I don't mean when we fight and I had hurt her. I begged her to stay and told her I loved her but even at the airport while crying she said she loved me but she thought it was right. We stayed on skype even after that till her plane was to leave and I told her, if she wants me back just call me and I'll be there, she said it wouldn't happen and that she loved me and this was goodbye, she would like for us to still somehow be friends but I said if we can't be together it's too hard to be friends. Well she actually called me when her plane got to the next airport and told me she couldn't do it, she tried to convince herself that now that shes single she could go do the things that she wants like party and talk to whoever she wants but she didn't want that and she wanted to be with me, and that was a super happy moment for us, we were both crying and it was like a dream come true as I had thought I had lost her. Fast forward two months, we argue over something stupid and I tell her I don't want to be in a relationship where shes going to work everyday and spend no time with me at all(well I didn't say her I was just implying a relationship with no actual time together and that's already long distance is too hard) and she started crying and I told her to calm down and she said "how can I calm down when my boyfriend just told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me what the ****?" I told her I didn't mean that and I did not know she actually had the intentions to work everyday in the summer(I actually didn't I don't know how it came to that) but she hung up and said it was over, that I said I didn't want a relationship with her. I begged and pleaded with her and told her that's not the case but she barely replied. I then stupidly told her to just remove me from everything as its too hard for me to deal just sending messages to no reply, in which case she said okay and got off skype. I then texted her immediately after and told her I was wrong and I didn't want that, I was just super emotional because I had just lost my world over something so silly and we had just said we love each other that morning. She wouldn't hear any of it, she told me if I loved her or respected her I would stop messaging her but I told her that's not fair, to just end a year+ relationship with no talk, no resolution, even her ex-boyfriend didn't get that treatment. It didn't matter, she changed her fb, blocked me, changed her picture, removed me from the game and told me if I would like, I could pretend it was easy for her if it makes me feel better(obviously that would make me feel worse). The only way I could message her was through text in which I told her that if she wants to choose friends and stuff over me that's fine, I'll try to adapt, I'll do whatever, these last 5 months I've learned to trust her and know how caring she really is(and she was so faithful, please trust that as you read this) and that if we could give it another chance she could make the rules, whatever she wanted. She hasn't replied to that. Around 8 hours after our break up if that's what you want to call it, she was already playing games(it's where we met and we had a promise to only play with each other which was highly valued) with other people. My thoughts? She was just done, she won't come back even though she usually did, she has her friends to support her now and they're all telling her she deserves a good guy(even posted on her facebook which was made me feel awful, what is she telling them about me? I did everything I could, I spent over 4,000 dollars to see her in a span of like 4 months, did anything I could for her honestly) She wants to go out and do those things, shes already adding guys on facebook/changed her profile pic and has forgotten me. I feel pretty bad considering it seems like shes just thrown me away like garbage with no real explanation after a year long relationship. This is getting pretty long so I'll stop here, maybe vent some more later, just wanted to post this because I feel like im dying, I lost my entire world and it seems like my world has moved on and is perfectly fine. Oh I should also add, when she visited florida and I said I didn't want to have contact if we broke up she had pleaded for us to still be friends and she wanted to know how I was doing. Before she left that day I eventually wanted that too as the thought of completely losing her was too much to take. However now that's like a 180 on her side and it just confuses me. To anyone who actually reads this, I thank you, I can't really do anything but think about her so this was the only thing I could think of to do, nothing seems right anymore, she was with me almost everyday this past year, and for around 9 of those months, everyday almost all day. Now she's completely gone and I can't contact her so it feels like it was a lie and I really wasn't that important to her.
KaliLove Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Woah, holy wall of text Batman! Can you please break this up into paragraphs? It's too overwhelming to read otherwise. 1
Author Breakup91590 Posted June 4, 2014 Author Posted June 4, 2014 sorry about that, I tried to make it a bit more readable. This will be a long post as I will go into as much detail as possible, it was a long distance relationship but didn't really feel like it. Me and my ex met over a year ago online. We became friends through my friend and her boyfriend at the time. She asked to add me on fb and skype, and we played a game together and chatted on skype. I was 22 and she was 17. At some point our relationship had weird instances where it wasn't strictly a friendship, she would call me everyday after school and whenever she was free and hide it from her boyfriend and say things like "is it wrong that I rather call you than xx). Anyway she was dealing with deep depression and had a problem of self harm that I was there to comfort her through. She was having problems with her boyfriend as well and I would try to help her during those time. She was a very open person and asked me a lot of personal questions and wanted to watch porn with me and asked me about my fantasies(I viewed this as crossing the friendship line but I was starting to really grow to like her and of course I went along with it). Sometime later she went on a school trip and instead of calling her boyfriend, she basically stayed on call with me for most of it, and that night she video chatted me while sitting on the bed naked(but not actually letting me see anything) and also in the shower. Things got more weird when she asked to play truth or dare and I asked her to do something she shouldn't do. She responded "is that okay?" and I told her yes and she's like "I don't think thats okay" but eventually she did it. Later that night she was asking me if I thought less of her for not being a virgin and losing her virginity to her current boyfriend and that she felt ashamed. I told her I didn't think any less of her and eventually told her that I was starting to like her more than a friend and wanted a relationship with her. She told me she wasn't sure how to react and that she thought it was really sweet and told me not to go that she still wanted to talk to me but she was already in a relationship. Well, this continued for some time, we did awkward things that people shouldn't do when they're already in a relationship. Her relationship with her boyfriend was dwindling and she would always call me and lean on me for support. She asked me if she should leave him and I told her that I can't tell her honestly without getting my feelings involved but I would like if she would. Things happened and they broke up and she was single for a month or so but our relationship continued(I had told my friend I had feelings for her before they broke up but never tell him what happened and still till this day I haven't, needless to say we're no longer friends as I was a pretty **** friend, there's no denying that). as our relationship continued I told her I wanted a relationship with her, I wanted to visit her as summer was coming up. She said she didn't want a title such as "boyfriend and girlfriend" and our relationship is basically the same, the same commitment, the same everything. I would not settle with this, why couldn't she make a commitment if she tells me she loves me and so we argued over this a bit. A few days later she told me it was okay and we could date. And so we started dated and in July of that year I went to visit her for the first time and it was great, we had sex the first day and then just spent time with each other doing things we had said we wanted to do and just being with each other. Oh I should probably add that our relationship was a bit weird, we would be on call for every second that I wasn't at work, when she went to work I'd be on call if I wasn't working(we tried to do the same for me but that was too hard as I was always moving around while working and skype would crash so we would just message each other a lot during these times). We would even sleep on call(something we did before we actually got together, and it's something that I really cherished), just being on cam and watching each other sleep meant a lot. Well anyways after I visited her something bad happened, we had met another girl on a game(as we usually played a game together for hours a day) and I started talking to her, my girlfriend kept telling me how upset she was that she was the one to reach out to this girl but she wanted to be friends with me more and I told her she should just talk to her. I never told her how much we talked but eventually I told her we talked a while(this was mentioned on the trip when we were drunk and she was drove to tears) and after she heard that she went on my skype to read my messages(I gave her my password, told her I was sorry). She was extremely hurt because she had removed a guy for that she was talking with because it made me worry(I had removed a few girls I talked to because she said she was jealous and didn't like them). Something I should mention about my girlfriend, she was very hard headed, when we argued it was usually about stupid things and she would over react, hang up and not call me back till much later and after I told her I was wrong(I was never allowed to be right at that time). Anyway, this situation had her really upset and she said that she hated me and could never forgive me but she could forget over time and said she wanted to still be with me and make me prove that I love her and let her forget. Things were really rocky after that but eventually she seemed happy again, said she loved me again, did sexual things with me again and it seemed like everything was okay, I cut off all contact with said girl and everything. Soon she was going to be starting school at a very nice college in Cali(I already lived on the east coast and her west) and I was worried, I asked her how is this going to effect us, things will change drastically but she assured me things will be the same. Well before she went to college she went to China for personal reasons for a week that she couldn't avoid, and while she was there she would call me whenever possible. She also had secretly sent me flowers with a very cute note saying "(my name), I love you , I just wanted to know I'm still thinking of you in China! Please don't miss me o-o..and please have fun without me(I know I always tell you not to) I miss you lots! and I hope to see you soon. (my name)!!!! YOU ARE AWESOMEEEE. P.S. Hi Michael's family, I love you guys too! With tons of hugs and kisses, (my ex's name)! This was a great surprise to me and made me feel really loved, we couldn't talk for the first 2 days while we were in China and we hadn't not talked to each for a full day since we started dating so it was difficult but when she contacted me it was an amazing moment, she was really sweet and it was great. Fast forward to her coming back from China and packing to go to university. She leaves and arrives there and the data is awful, skype is always crashing, the first night she gets there we sleep on call and the next day she doesn't call me till that night. This continued for a while and I would message her during the day like "what's up!" "I miss you" etc. but she barely responded. We stayed on call every night but eventually it got to the point where she was always upset at me and always bringing up the old argument as to have a reason to be angry with me. She started making new friends and just communicating with me less, I began to think the relationship was over and she just didn't want me anymore and wanted to be with her friends. Eventually one day she told me she wanted to return her ex's sweater, and I told her I didn't want her to do that and that for her to please let me give her the money for her to send it to me but she told me she had agreed to meet him in person before they broke up and it's a promise she couldn't break. We fought and she said if I didn't let her do this we would break up and I explained to her why it pained me and she didn't respond but eventually msg'd me back and told me she seeked advice and a guy had told her that he could understand my feelings and she should try holding on to that sweater and if that promise really meant so much to her then she should wait to see how are relationship goes and then decide. Things continued and they were bad, she said she still hated me and was about to break up with me once and we didn't talk for a few days, just status updates like she would say "im going to the beach etc". A few days later after she said she wanted to break up she called me and shes like, How are you? and I told her I was upset of course and she told me she had something to tell me, and I told her that didn't sound good. She said it was good and that she didn't want to break up and she was sorry. Oh I forgot to mention that she said the reason she wanted to break up is she wanted to experience the college life, she wanted to do things without having to worry about me but she had changed her mind. Of course I was excited. Before she actually went to college I had planned to visit her again for the League of Legends world championships and had already bought the tickets and stuff. She was still saying she hated me for what I did but still wanted me to visit anyway. While I was there things were good at times but she continued to bring that up and I felt like I had scarred her so badly, I felt awful. I asked her if she wanted to break up and she told me no, I asked her if she still loved me and she said she did but she wanted to try to make it work and still hated me. Anyways, that visit was the worst of our entire relationship. When I got back home, things continued the same way till she told me she was sorry for how she was acting and that she did love me and wanted to be happy with me. I should add that we were both jealous people, me probably more so and I wasn't comfortable with her partying(especially after I had found out stuff about her past that I confronted her about in the future). Anyway we were happy for a bit but I found out she had been lying to me about things. On her birthday, I had chocolates, a teddy bear, a card, and flowers sent to her and some other things. That day I caught her in a lie about something very stupid, she told me no guys had said to her happy birthday(I wasn't even angry) but when I knew the truth I told her that she was lying and over something so silly. So we argued on her birthday and I told her I know she is lying and she admitted to it. Then I asked her what else has she lied about and she told me she hasn't lied and she doesn't even text guys(I actually new differently but didn't say anything as I was a coward at the time) but she had come clean about some things and we were happy again. A few days later a guy at her future work place gives her a present as she is going in a study room to play games with me, she told me about it and she seemed excited to have it, I asked her why he gave it to her and she said she didn't know, they had only talked once. I made a big deal about this because one day when I was at class I was given a free arm band from a girl(who gave them to everyone) and I liked it, it was blue and i thought it looked cool so I wore it. She freaked out about this and made me remove it and said she wasn't comfortable with a girl giving me something like that and if I liked it so much she would get me one, and she did. I was perfectly fine with this, a jealous girlfriend to me feels very caring and loving, so I decided to get her one as well. Anyway when I expressed how upset I was about this, she got very upset and wouldn't understand, I also don't see how a guy who shes only talked to once would give her a league of legends shirt(the game we loved to play) without knowing her. I was like, why is he giving you a shirt if he doesn't know you besides talking once. She told me he was just really nice and gives gifts to all the girls he works with or knows. Anyway I wouldn't budge and she got angry but eventually started crying and told me I was right and she would give it back to him and she did. Anyway that was at the end of November of last year and at the end of December things were okay but I had found out about a lot of lies she told me and confronted her, first I asked her about one of the lies and she lied right to my face. So I told her I was done and I can't stand the constant lies, I don't know this girl and she's not the one I fell in love with. This was also on her first day of work where she was working with a guy who she had lied about, she said she had never talked to him but she was talking to him, about me and our relationship. I confronted her about her lies, how she had told me she wasn't messaging guys but was even talking about things that our relationship was definitely not comfortable with(not super sexual things or anything like that, I never saw a sexual message that showed intent of cheating, did it happen? Idk but I never saw it). Anyways she pleaded and begged and told me all of the lies I didn't know, such as she would keep me on call and tell me she was going to the bathroom to go talk to the guys that work swiping people into the dorms(her future work place) and that she had talked to the guy that gave her the shirt a lot and that she would give him food and any swipes she had and would text him to do so, and a lot more lies just involving either going out and talking with guys, texting them, I'm forgettings things but basically a lot. This wasn't the first time I caught her doing this but the first time was a one conversation thing that was pretty innocent after I made a mistake and we both kind of chalked it up to we both were stupid, we werent doing anything wrong but weren't honest with each other. Anyways the way I knew this stuff was that she had given me access to her facebook and had forgotten about it or probably forgot I knew it. Strangely enough she wasn't upset about this but she told me she would quit college, quit her job, send me her phone do whatever I wanted just as long as I stayed with her, and I was really angry with her and told her I wasn't sure that someone who could lie so much and pretend to be hurt about something I did but turns around and does even worse WHILE being angry with me about something she had previously gotten over is someone I can trust. She told me she would send me all her texts, give me all her passwords to everything, she even linked her icloud to mine so I could see some of her texts, and she would keep me on call 24/7 and that was the promise we made, and we tried this. I read all the texts that she sent to guys and I was heart broken that she was actually leaving me on call and lying to me to do this but I loved her and didn't want to think of her like that so our relationship continued. I know what you might be thinking, you should have seen this coming since you messed with a girl who had a boyfriend and did things with you like that. Well I found out more about her past and I wasn't the first like that but she told me all of that, and as for that being a concern, at the time it was and I know that was wrong to do but till that day till two days ago we were on call 24/7 and she never betrayed me during that time. You're probably also thinking im a control freak and shes crazy but I think all this text makes it sound worse than it is. Anyway she stuck true to the promise and we had a great time, she came to visit me on valentines day and it was amazing, then spring bring she came, she met my family both times. However, at the end of spring break trip(the last day she was with me) she wanted to break up because the night before we somehow started talking about the past and I got angry and left the room, she said leaving her like that hurt her more than anything and I always say things I don't mean when we fight and I had hurt her. I begged her to stay and told her I loved her but even at the airport while crying she said she loved me but she thought it was right. We stayed on skype even after that till her plane was to leave and I told her, if she wants me back just call me and I'll be there, she said it wouldn't happen and that she loved me and this was goodbye, she would like for us to still somehow be friends but I said if we can't be together it's too hard to be friends. Well she actually called me when her plane got to the next airport and told me she couldn't do it, she tried to convince herself that now that shes single she could go do the things that she wants like party and talk to whoever she wants but she didn't want that and she wanted to be with me, and that was a super happy moment for us, we were both crying and it was like a dream come true as I had thought I had lost her. Fast forward two months, we argue over something stupid and I tell her I don't want to be in a relationship where shes going to work everyday and spend no time with me at all(well I didn't say her I was just implying a relationship with no actual time together and that's already long distance is too hard) and she started crying and I told her to calm down and she said "how can I calm down when my boyfriend just told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me what the ****?" I told her I didn't mean that and I did not know she actually had the intentions to work everyday in the summer(I actually didn't I don't know how it came to that) but she hung up and said it was over, that I said I didn't want a relationship with her. I begged and pleaded with her and told her that's not the case but she barely replied. I then stupidly told her to just remove me from everything as its too hard for me to deal just sending messages to no reply, in which case she said okay and got off skype. I then texted her immediately after and told her I was wrong and I didn't want that, I was just super emotional because I had just lost my world over something so silly and we had just said we love each other that morning. She wouldn't hear any of it, she told me if I loved her or respected her I would stop messaging her but I told her that's not fair, to just end a year+ relationship with no talk, no resolution, even her ex-boyfriend didn't get that treatment. It didn't matter, she changed her fb, blocked me, changed her picture, removed me from the game and told me if I would like, I could pretend it was easy for her if it makes me feel better(obviously that would make me feel worse). The only way I could message her was through text in which I told her that if she wants to choose friends and stuff over me that's fine, I'll try to adapt, I'll do whatever, these last 5 months I've learned to trust her and know how caring she really is(and she was so faithful, please trust that as you read this) and that if we could give it another chance she could make the rules, whatever she wanted. She hasn't replied to that. Around 8 hours after our break up if that's what you want to call it, she was already playing games(it's where we met and we had a promise to only play with each other which was highly valued) with other people. My thoughts? She was just done, she won't come back even though she usually did, she has her friends to support her now and they're all telling her she deserves a good guy(even posted on her facebook which was made me feel awful, what is she telling them about me? I did everything I could, I spent over 4,000 dollars to see her in a span of like 4 months, did anything I could for her honestly) She wants to go out and do those things, shes already adding guys on facebook/changed her profile pic and has forgotten me. I feel pretty bad considering it seems like shes just thrown me away like garbage with no real explanation after a year long relationship. This is getting pretty long so I'll stop here, maybe vent some more later, just wanted to post this because I feel like im dying, I lost my entire world and it seems like my world has moved on and is perfectly fine. Oh I should also add, when she visited florida and I said I didn't want to have contact if we broke up she had pleaded for us to still be friends and she wanted to know how I was doing. Before she left that day I eventually wanted that too as the thought of completely losing her was too much to take. However now that's like a 180 on her side and it just confuses me. To anyone who actually reads this, I thank you, I can't really do anything but think about her so this was the only thing I could think of to do, nothing seems right anymore, she was with me almost everyday this past year, and for around 9 of those months, everyday almost all day. Now she's completely gone and I can't contact her so it feels like it was a lie and I really wasn't that important to her.
KaliLove Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I'm sorry you're hurting but I'm not sure what you were expecting from this girl. 1. She cheated on her ex with you..why were you expecting her to treat you any differently? She never betrayed you that you are aware of..but do you really think her ex knew she was betraying him with you? How could you possibly verify that? 2. She's a teenager and she's acting, not surprisingly, like a teenager..and a spoiled bratty one at that. 3. I really hope you waited until she turned 18 to sleep with her.
Author Breakup91590 Posted June 4, 2014 Author Posted June 4, 2014 The thing is she said that her and her boyfriend had that type of a relationship, he would talk sexual with other girls, even in front of her and what she was doing with me was in the lines of their relationship, although she hid it. She also said she did not think what we were doing was something that would be considered cheating. I'm not sure what's true about that but she wanted to prove to me that she was a changed person, and for the last 5 months she proved that. I guess I was just suspecting if she was going to end it with me that she would at least do it where I could have a say in it and actually speak to her and not just get deleted forever as if we never even met. It's just really painful to know she was capable of doing that and it's a bit unfair that it feels like im the only one hurting when she tells me this is what I wanted, when that isn't the case. Thank you for the reply, seriously. Just being able to vent my feelings makes me feel somewhat better.
Author Breakup91590 Posted June 5, 2014 Author Posted June 5, 2014 She messaged me this morning, which is more than I expected. She told me I asked for the no contact which I did but I told her right after I was wrong. She was offline when I saw that she responded but I told her I want to tell her how I was wrong for some of the things I said, such as not wanting to be in a relationship where one person wants to work all the time, I understand that doesn't mean she doesn't love me, it's more so that's just the type of person she is and I should respect that if I love her and want to be with her. I already knew that about her and to be upset about it is definitely wrong on my part. I don't know if she'll message me again but I hope she does.
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