maysj18 Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Just wanting some opinions on this: if you were in your early 20's and knew marriage was what you wanted later on down the road but not for several years, would you date someone who didn't want to get married? I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we're both young (23 and 25). I definitely want marriage, but not until I'm in laaaate 20's, early 30's as I'm still working to become a doctor and want to be settled before I walk down the aisle. With that being said, my boyfriend doesn't want to get married because of misconstrued yet genuine feelings about divorce (a bunch of affairs in his family). We're having so much fun and obviously care about each other a lot, but it's fair to say I don't see a long term future with him for obvious reasons. Does that mean that this time together isn't worth it? Are we wasting each other's time? Or is Mr. Right Now more important than Mr. Right, as cliche as that sounds?
carhill Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 What I've found in life is that timing is very important. If one is invested into a relationship which they know to not be a long-term prospect but they want a long-term prospect, even if 'down the road', then that focus can affect timing with like-minded long-term prospects which come in and out of one's life. In your case, timing might involve a like-minded person who has educational and/or career aspirations going on right now but want to settle down and focus on marriage and family once the other issues are settled. I recall my exW's niece meeting her now husband in college; she was in early child development and he in trauma medicine. They dated for many years and waited until he finished his residency to get married and start a family. They knew, however, even though they dated nearly a decade, what their plan in life with each other was. They were like-minded and, had they not focused on each other, the timing might have passed them by. All that said, life is constantly changing and us with it so what you and your BF feel today might be completely different in a few years. Up to you. 1
me85 Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 If he doesn't want marriage and you do, then yes, you are wasting YOUR time. Not his. He's content with the way things are now and may be content without marriage for a long long time. 2 years is plenty long enough to know if you want to marry that person or not. You may want to consider going seperate ways. If one person wants to go to California and the other person wants to go to New York...see where I'm going with this?
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