MidwestUSA Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 The purpose of the text is to make me not feel a little suffocated ( suffocated by the lack of desire to see her when plans are made. I was not really looking forward to last night, I kind of just wanted to relax alone at home instead. ) I don't want to tell her why unless she specifically asks. I don't want to provoke her, I'm not like that. Why on earth did you let her drive an hour and a half if you didn't want to see her? With these four dates, who has done the driving? Just curious; I know it's not relevant to your immediate problem. But if you were into her and WANTED to see her, those annoyances might not have pushed you to the point of needing to cut this off. Did you let her drive that distance just to prove to yourself you were done?
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 Dude did you recently have your ball sac removed and donated to science??!? What's wrong with you Keenly? Did you suddenly start a prescription of female hormones? Do you need a shot of testosterone? A punch in the face? A signed, faxed, and notorized LoveShack official document from all the members here that clearly states WHAT KEENLY SHOULD DO IN THE EVENT OF A RELATIONSHIP BREAKUP, Herewithsignedthereofnotorizedbytherightpeople... Stop stalling and CALL HER. I think I need to get another shot of Caribou LSD... I'm not stalling, I'm at work. I made this decision less than 12 hours ago. I asked for opinions to populate while I'm at the office. Is that really so unmanly? Is it okay with you if I get home before I call her? Or is that not placed with enough testosterone for your liking.
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 Why on earth did you let her drive an hour and a half if you didn't want to see her? With these four dates, who has done the driving? Just curious; I know it's not relevant to your immediate problem. But if you were into her and WANTED to see her, those annoyances might not have pushed you to the point of needing to cut this off. Did you let her drive that distance just to prove to yourself you were done? She took her room mate into my town in the morning, spent the whole day at the water park, and then came over after I got off. She was already in the area. This was also before I had made the choice to break it off. I figured I'd give it another try to see if I felt anything. I didn't.
writergal Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I'm just giving you a hard time Keenly friend. RELAX. But call her dude. It's the right thing to do. I'm not stalling, I'm at work. I made this decision less than 12 hours ago. I asked for opinions to populate while I'm at the office. Is that really so unmanly? Is it okay with you if I get home before I call her? Or is that not placed with enough testosterone for your liking.
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 I'm just giving you a hard time Keenly friend. RELAX. But call her dude. It's the right thing to do. This is why I can't do it over text. I was playing back We need to invent a communication medium that's less likely to be misinterpreted. We will.make hundreds of dollars before we get sued by apple.
writergal Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 The telephone was invented in 1876 by Alexander Graham Bell. I guarantee you there were KEENLYs of Yore who wanted to break up with their girlfriends via smoke signal but either ran out of firewood or couldn't be bothered, so they walked 25 miles to their neighbor's farm or into their city AND USED THE TELEPHONE. Just a suggestion. This is why I can't do it over text. I was playing back We need to invent a communication medium that's less likely to be misinterpreted. We will.make hundreds of dollars before we get sued by apple. 2
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 The telephone was invented in 1876 by Alexander Graham Bell. I guarantee you there were KEENLYs of Yore who wanted to break up with their girlfriends via smoke signal but either ran out of firewood or couldn't be bothered, so they walked 25 miles to their neighbor's farm or into their city AND USED THE TELEPHONE. Just a suggestion. This reminds me of a quote from my favorite Always Sunny episode. I'll see it done. 1
BC1980 Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I don't think there is any need to do it in person given that it's not exclusive, and she lives 1.5 hours away. I would say make a quick phone call, and keep it simple.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Meh, it's four dates. He doesn't need to do it face to face, especially since it's an LDR. Text or a call is fine. Honestly, it won't matter -- no one ever appreciates someone for breaking up "the right way", whatever that means. No matter how you do it she'll be equally as pissed or confused or despondent. So as long as you don't do the fade, you'll be fine. How you break up is irrelevant. How you act post break-up is much more important. Whatever you do, don't string her along for booty calls or support or try to be friendly with her. When you break, make it clean and fade to black. Do not send out mixed signals. 90% of a breakup is how you handle yourself after you bring down the hammer. 3
katinlc Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 (edited) Right now I'm at the same place you are relationship-wise. I've been talking / dating a guy for about a month. Not exclusive, have never talked on the phone, and not intimate. He texts me at least every day. We met online and have gone out a total of 3 times (I was on vacation all last week). Honestly, if he decided to call it quits right now, I would expect a text message and wouldn't be upset. It seems to me like that is where the relationship is right now. My last relationship the guy dumped me via text but we had been dating a couple months, were exclusive, etc... That devastated me because he sent the text and then wouldn't respond back or answer the phone. So I would recommend at least responding back reasonably if she requires it. Just my 2 cents... Edited June 3, 2014 by katinlc 1
somedude81 Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Video message. Perfect middle ground Why not a singing telegram? 7
veggirl Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Why didn't you just do it before she left the last time you saw her? IMO 4 dates does NOT require a face to face "break up". At ALL. Of course, you are being a hypocrite given your advice on another thread but that's beside the point I guess. tbh I think after only FOUR dates, a text is fine. She'd prob prefer it anyway, assuming she is young, early 20s or whatever. I mean that's how they communicate and she'll prob feel less awkward than hearing it over the phone. I agree with just being honest: "Hey, I've had fun hanging out with you but honestly our personalities just don't mesh and I'm not feeling it. Good luck w/ everything"
todreaminblue Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Hey keenly, you are a pretty together guy gathering from your posts to others problems, you will work it out you pretty much say really insightful thoughts on loveshack with people you dont know...... awkward.....i loathe writing break up texts....maybe if you just say what you feel in your heart your heart is hardly ever wrong and the heart always takes into consideration the other person.....so normally what is said is not hurtful that you had some good times together you don't see longevity due to differences though and that you wish nothing but the best for her......i am not a fan of writing texts and would make the effort to do it face to face.,.....if i had dated them more than twice......but thats me and im female and struggle with goodbyes........i broke up with a guy recently face to face, he calls me still, and wants friendship i think, maybe a little bit more...i am tangenting.....most guys dont have a problem sending blunt messages...do what you feel you have to do it from your heart.......i wish you well....deb
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 Text her to get tested ASAP. Ha, it would only work if we had done anything.
MidwestUSA Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Ha, it would only work if we had done anything. Maybe he meant for ADHD, based on her behavior that night. 1
iris219 Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 One thing I don't want to do is throw blame around. I just want to be polite, express how I feel, and leave it at that. I was thinking some thing like " hey , you know we had some good times the few times we hung out, but I don't think this is something I can move forward with, or am even ready to move forward with. I'm sorry but I don't think I can see you again. " Thoughts? Get rid of the "I think" and it's fine to text, IMO. I'd rather someone I've known for a only month text me that it's not working out. I don't need or want an awkward conversation with someone I'm not even in a relationship with. Also, it sounds like she may not be super into you either since she refuses to commit. It is odd you wanted to be exclusive and now you want to break up. 1
SpiritualAlchemy Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Sheesh, man, give me her number and I'll break it off for you! It'll have to be by text though cuz I'm in NZ. Anyone got a problem with that? Kiss my woolly sheep!
Omei Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) I agree call her or drive there. (don't make her drive) It seems your giving every excuse to take the text method so its all easier on you. And that is what most people do if your gonna do the text method just get it over with there's gonna be no special way of wording after a text you get to ignore any response of the breakup. But I also agree that a face to face meeting after 4 dates is not necessary Edited June 4, 2014 by Omei 2
David87 Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I agree call her or drive there. (don't make her drive) It seems your giving every excuse to take the text method so its all easier on you. And that is what most people do if your gonna do the text method just get it over with there's gonna be no special way of wording after a text you get to ignore any response of the breakup. But I also agree that a face to face meeting after 4 dates is not necessary He wont drive there to do it. 1
Omei Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 He wont drive there to do it. I know if hes going to use the text method how she or he feels after isn't gonna matter since its as soon as that text is sent nothing else comes into play. So just out with it really. 1
Els Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 It doesn't really matter how you word it, IMO, if it's only been 4 dates and you're gonna do it via text. Just be polite but firm. That being said, it would be better to do it via phone, even if you don't 'normally' talk on the phone. Especially in view of the advice you've given other people in this regard, I'd think you'd expect more from yourself. Just man up and put your discomfort aside for 5 minutes, seriously. 3
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