Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Looks like its my turn on the LS Merry-go-round. I've been seeing this girl about once a week for a month. Texting very frequently as well. We have meet up about 4 times. She came over last night and basically got three strikes all in one visit. She likes to joke around, but 90% of the time she takes it too far for jokes that aren't even funny. I'm ALL for humor, its what keeps my life going, but if the joke isn't funny and its just cruel, its stupid. I'm sitting there trying to have a person to person conversation about getting nailed in the face with a dodgeball several times over the weekend. She just insults my manhood a few tines.... okay.... She keeps pulling me on top of her when I clearly don't want to make out. Shep kept trying to tickle me when I'm trying to have a conversation with her . At first I was like " haha, okay stop " she didn't stop. " seriously, come on. " so she goes after my feet. I looked her dead in the eye and said " alright, look. I do NOT like having my feet touched, period. This isn't funny. Knock it off " . She kept blanking doing it. Blatant disrespect of my physical boundaries. I told her we weren't having sex or doing anything sexual until we are exclusive. She told me a few days ago that it would be " several more weeks " before she made the decision if she wanted to be in a relationship with me or not. We've already been talking for about 5 or 6, how much time exactly does this decision require? Anyway, she keeps putting her hands in my pants, and its making me kind of uncomfortable. She is also putting in my opinion way too much emphasis on meeting her friends and what her friends think of me. This part has been building on my mind for a while . Am I dating you or am I dating your friends? Anyway, I've decided not to see her anymore because I wasn't having fun around her anymore. She lives 1.5 hours away, so I can't make her drive here just to break it off, and I'm not going to drive there just to break it off. We don't talk on the phone. How should I phrase this message ? 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Well, given that I just posted in a couple of other threads about the epidemic that seems to be known as the break-up text, I guess I won't go down that path since you've made it abundantly clear that this is the only option for you. Moving on... I think you should rip off the band-aide sooner rather than later with this girl. The longer you wait to have this chat, the more of a d*ck you will look like. As far as how to construct your text, I would just keep it simple and honest. As much as you've enjoyed the time you've spent together these last several weeks, you are realizing that you're looking for something more. Then wish her the best in her own search for whatever it is she's looking for and be done with it. I mean, she made it clear she wasn't ready to be exclusive with you anyway so whether you she was "the one" or not is irrelevant. Good luck. 1
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 . The longer you wait to have this chat, the more of a d*ck you will look like. I'm not really too worried about this part. I wont worry about being viewed negatively when I haven't done anything but express my feelings.
organizedchaos Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I'm not really too worried about this part. I wont worry about being viewed negatively when I haven't done anything but express my feelings. Dude, if you've learned anything from this site, it's that no matter what you do, as the dumper, you will be viewed negatively 2
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 Dude, if you've learned anything from this site, it's that no matter what you do, as the dumper, you will be viewed negatively I've also learned not to care about that kind of thing because people are going to think what people are going to think. If she wants to get mad at me because her feelings aren't mutual, oh well. I just need to know specifically how to phrase the few sentences that explain that I don't think we should see each other again. 2
umirano Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Why does it matter whether she views you negatively, if you are not seeing her anymore anyway? Also, if she doesn't expect it ending, is hoping for some more 'fun', it will not go down well with her, regardless of whether you've expressed your feelings.
umirano Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 How about "Hi xyz, I'm sorry, but I don't feel we're a match. I wish you the best of luck finding someone. Keenly" 5
FredJones80 Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 How about.. "I'm not that KEENly about you anymore" 7
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Just tell her you think she's a lovely girl but you dont think you are a long term match and you wish her the best of luck x 1
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 Is it just me that feels the best of luck part is a bit unnecessary and feels like a parting shot? 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Is it just me that feels the best of luck part is a bit unnecessary and feels like a parting shot? Maybe the "best of luck" might sound a bit d*ckish but wishing her well isn't necessarily unnecessarily. I'm sure you can find the right words to string together that would convey the same meaning minus any ill will.
martaldn Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I would quote you a message you just posted somewhere else. You've been hanging out for 3 weeks? You owe him the respect of doing it face to face. Just say one of the throw away lines like "I think we should see other people" or "It's just not working out" but you dont think you should do the same thing with your present date of 1 month. sorry but I think it is a bit hypocrite. 7
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 I would quote you a message you just posted somewhere else. You've been hanging out for 3 weeks? You owe him the respect of doing it face to face. Just say one of the throw away lines like "I think we should see other people" or "It's just not working out" but you dont think you should do the same thing with your present date of 1 month. sorry but I think it is a bit hypocrite. So you think I should make her drive an hour and a half for me to kick her out as soon as he gets here? Different situations. Also I'm pretty sure in that case, they saw each other more than 4 times, which is all I've seen her.
mammasita Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Keep it simple. "Not digging your sense of humor, its irritating and this isn't working for me anymore." 3
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 Tell her you've got the AIDS What's funny about this is this is my go to joke to get people out of stuff, because its a free pass to get out of ANYTHING. you can only use it once though .
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 Keep it simple. "Not digging your sense of humor, its irritating and this isn't working for me anymore." That seems a little more standoffish than what I'm looking for. IS it her fault for being her? Of.is it my fault for being incompatible with her personality? Either way, it doesn't matter who's fault it is. going to have to combine all of the suggestions into a Frankenstein of rejection.
writergal Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I agree with Marta. Don't be a hypocrite Keenly. Be a man about it and call her up and tell her that you're just not that into her. Break up texts are so immature and so lame. For all the advice you give here I'm shocked that you would not know how to break up with someone you clearly don't like. I would quote you a message you just posted somewhere else. You've been hanging out for 3 weeks? You owe him the respect of doing it face to face. Just say one of the throw away lines like "I think we should see other people" or "It's just not working out" but you dont think you should do the same thing with your present date of 1 month. sorry but I think it is a bit hypocrite. 4
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I would quote you a message you just posted somewhere else. You've been hanging out for 3 weeks? You owe him the respect of doing it face to face. Just say one of the throw away lines like "I think we should see other people" or "It's just not working out" but you dont think you should do the same thing with your present date of 1 month. sorry but I think it is a bit hypocrite. Oh SNAP!!!! 2
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 I agree with Marta. Don't be a hypocrite Keenly. Be a man about it and call her up and tell her that you're just not that into her. Break up texts are so immature and so lame. For all the advice you give here I'm shocked that you would not know how to break up with someone you clearly don't like. If we are going by hypocrisy, wouldn't I still be a hypocrite if I called her on the phone? I mean if people agree that the phone is better, I can make a call. The problem is that I can express my thoughts much better through a text. It might seem a little.... robotic over the phone. But what do you guys think, phone call or text message?
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 Oh SNAP!!!! I tried to respond to the comment by explaining the distance and frequency of visits were different than that situation, but I think I used buzzwords flagged for review, so that post is going to post after review.
xUnknown Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Call her. Tell her you don't think its working out. She didn't respect your boundaries and You're no longer interested in dating her. She'll respond with "oh wtf..f-you..blah blah blah" you: "mkay, bye" <click>.
Author Keenly Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 Call her. Tell her you don't think its working out. She didn't respect your boundaries and You're no longer interested in dating her. She'll respond with "oh wtf..f-you..blah blah blah" you: "mkay, bye" <click>. One thing I don't want to do is throw blame around. I just want to be polite, express how I feel, and leave it at that. I was thinking some thing like " hey , you know we had some good times the few times we hung out, but I don't think this is something I can move forward with, or am even ready to move forward with. I'm sorry but I don't think I can see you again. " Thoughts? 1
daisydook Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 "Hey ___. I don't really think I am feeling what I should be at this point and this is not working for me. I am sorry, but I am going to cut this off now. Take care of yourself. Keenly" Hopefully she responds with "never settle for anything other than butterflies." Wishful thinking, perhaps. I would text her. She may be upset but whatever. She will live and she will get over it. You have been dating her for a month, never speak on the phone, and always text. Give yourself a break. Everyone else should give you a break too. Text her and end it. Given the information provided here from you, that's just fine. You don't owe her more and to be honest, I don't really understand the point of all of a sudden picking up your phone to call her, if you never have before now, just to end it. Lol. Seems silly to me. Oblivious, ignorant, and doesn't understand boundaries... Good choice, Keenly!
umirano Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Maybe the "best of luck" might sound a bit d*ckish How so? I'm not a native speaker. Idk why this is so hard. You had four dates. I think a text BU is fine esp. looking at how immature she behaved. Ofc you could call, but it doesn't look like you owe each other very much. Maybe you want to be more detailed why you're not interested anymore? Figure out what information you want to convey. Just the fact that it's over? Or do you want to give her reasons? Are you secretly looking for a reaction and need something provocative? What's the purpose of your text?
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