TB Rhine Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 So I'm one of those types who, when talking to a woman on Facebook or what have you, will often do the "over the top" flirtation thing and call them "my love," "my sweet," etc. (Like "hello my sweet" when initiating a conversation with them). I've wondered if perhaps this makes them not take my romantic interest/intentions seriously -- like they think I'm just joking around or whatever -- but never gave it a whole whole lot of thought, until I saw that "M'lady App" sketch on [whatever the heck sketch show it was on]. So is this kind of thing a sore point with women? Has it become too associated with the "Nice Guy" phenomenon? What does everybody think -- do I need to cut this out?
greyskys62 Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 It really depends on the individual woman; some love the terms of endearment while others cringe at the same terms. I think it's important to be yourself, but know your audience; if the woman you like doesn't seem to be responding positively to the language you're using, scale back and follow her lead. Words are extremely powerful, so it might not be a bad idea to hold off on sentimental language until you've received some sort of confirmation that she likes it or wants it.
pteromom Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I hate it! It comes across as very insincere to me, especially from someone who doesn't know me. It doesn't seem "nice guy" to me... just socially awkward and skeevy. Yes, I would cut it out. Save terms of endearment for the woman you end up in a relationship with. 6
Ruby Slippers Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I'm as sappy as they come, but I don't want to be called pet names by a guy I'm not dating or in a relationship with. It doesn't seem genuine - I imagine him saying the same thing to any other woman he barely knows. 3
d0nnivain Posted June 2, 2014 Posted June 2, 2014 I don't mind the pet names in private; somebody repeatedly posts garbage like that on my public FB & they lose their posting privileges. It's . . . I don't like it. My husband doesn't call me anything more intimate then honey in writing that can be read by others.
Author TB Rhine Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 Thanks for the thoughts! I may have to work on trying to cut this out for a while... I know it's going to be hard, because I just seem to default to that kind of corniness for some reason. :/ "Skeevy," eh?
Lani Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Are you using this language with all women, a few, or just the one?
MidwestUSA Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 Ew, on Facebook? No, just no. And only a select few get away with it in person. (Congrats on the weight loss!)
Author TB Rhine Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 It's a habit I adopt with women I'm interested in when I talk to them online. Usually in private messages; I don't often post such stuff anywhere public. The new avatar is a pic of Michael Cera from the movie "Magic Magic," if that's what the last poster was referring to. :/
Lani Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 To be honest, it is kinda creepy. I'd like it from time to time, but not a heap. It's just... I don't know. I just don't like it. 1
ASG Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I really don't like it. Pet names are ok if I'm dating someone, but even when some friends (male and female) call me hon or sweetie, I get a bit uncomfortable. So I would definitely cut it out! 1
MidwestUSA Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 The new avatar is a pic of Michael Cera from the movie "Magic Magic," if that's what the last poster was referring to. :/ Shows how well I know celebrities, sorry!
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 I can't speak for all women but I'm fine with the pet names if that's your schtick BUT only if I know that is your schtick. If you're chatting it up with women who you are NOT romantically involved with or have NO intentions of pursuing a romantic relationship with then addressing them with "my love" or "my sweet" may indeed be confusing to them. I think it's absolutely fine if/when someone knows you and your intentions otherwise perhaps you might tone it down a bit. 1
MissBee Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 So I'm one of those types who, when talking to a woman on Facebook or what have you, will often do the "over the top" flirtation thing and call them "my love," "my sweet," etc. (Like "hello my sweet" when initiating a conversation with them). I've wondered if perhaps this makes them not take my romantic interest/intentions seriously -- like they think I'm just joking around or whatever -- but never gave it a whole whole lot of thought, until I saw that "M'lady App" sketch on [whatever the heck sketch show it was on]. So is this kind of thing a sore point with women? Has it become too associated with the "Nice Guy" phenomenon? What does everybody think -- do I need to cut this out? It's not a "nice guy" trait...it's corny, to be blunt. I don't take a man who does this seriously, as it's very weird for you to be calling me "my sweet" and "my love" and all this weird archaic stuff if we don't know each other, so it just comes off very contrived and artificial. Calling a woman you barely know or aren't in a relationship with "my love" is over the top...it doesn't at all seem sweet but like those words mean nothing to you so you toss them around cheaply and say this to every woman...turn off! For me: I prefer a man to save the terms of endearment for when we're actually dating or in a relationship, but to hit me up on Facebook or what have you and to use those terms is off-putting.
Author TB Rhine Posted June 3, 2014 Author Posted June 3, 2014 Responses definitely leaning toward the negative so far. Guess I need to get on this! 1
Gaeta Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 It's a habit I adopt with women I'm interested in when I talk to them online. Usually in private messages; I don't often post such stuff anywhere public. Online setting: I would have dismissed you for doing this. It comes across as not being serious. I find it quite disrespectful. Each time a man did that to me I explained to him that if he had seen me waiting in line at the super market he would NOT have addressed me with honey and sweetie, he would have used more respect, so even though we are online I expect men to address me with the same respect they would in real life situation. Those who messaged me with sexy and gorgeous their message went directly to the garbage bin. A few times I asked them why they thought it was ok to use this type of familiarity and they all said <but don't women love being called sexy>....idiot. Too retarded for me to try to educate them.
jbelle6 Posted June 3, 2014 Posted June 3, 2014 If we are in a relationship I like pet names, especially if he has ones just for me. If you expressed interest in me and I saw you talk to dozens of girls like that it would be a turn off. I certainly would not be offended by you calling me sweetie or something, but I know a lot of women that would be so maybe err on the side of caution.
mrs rubble Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 It doesn't bother me in the slightest, I've learnt over the years that some people just talk like that. My ex-hubby's dad is a Scottsman and calls all females"love". I have a platonic friend who texts me regularly calling me "babycakes", it's just their personality or custom/culture in my Ex FIL's case...his son has picked up the habit to a certain degree too...as has my own son!! Just be yourself. 1
thelastunicorn Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 I don't like when men that don't know me well call me pet names because it seems like they are trying to create a false sense of closeness/intimacy. As if they know me much better than they really do when in reality they have barely taken the time to get to know me at all. I always wonder if it's subconscious or something they do on purpose.
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